The heat is letting up.

Then I bared my heart to you.
You stabbed me with your love.
Before I could turn all blue
You took off my gauntlet glove.

You took away all my armour.
Then I was so very scared'
Told me you wanted a farmer.
And let me knew you cared.

You gave a lesson in honor.
Was worried about the dragon.
My mind wanted to wander.
Fear of falling off the wagon.

Used to damsels in distress.
War used to be everything.
My life was such a mess.
But I never was a king.

In this lighted cave I see.
Sometimes I have to guess.
It isn't so dark and empty.
I am a knight in distress.

Since my area of experience does not lay in normal relationships I don't have much to offer to this discussion. But since 'normal' was not given as a prerequisite for this topic I do have some experience with the abnormal. Having recently met someone who was preferably as abnormal as myself has led to questions as to which of us is more screwed up also have led to enjoyable dissertations of intimate letter writing extravagant to say the least in both style and theme. It has been wonderful to find someone who is more long winded than me. I really didn't think such a person actually existed. Since we both seem to be equally infatuated with each other the jury is still out who is actually crazier than the other. I have learned how to concede since I am not only addicted to her but her voice as well. It does get funny when she says, "Okay, I want to hear you speak now." It is like, "Wow, I am actually a part of this conversation." It is delightful to find someone who actually has issues as serious as mine even though they are different. We are having serious problems with sleeping since neither one of us can shut up long enough. There is really a problem with who gets the last word in as the that word never seems to get here. Except of course with the exception of when we have these kissing contests. I am thinking of investing chap-stick. So when I do think that I have something to say that she needs to hear I just kiss her until I take her breath away and use the time when she is trying to catch her breath to say something to her. So kisses are power but equal in power with the right person.

When you can see only your woman in group of women.

I really thought he was something.

Family is important and it is good to know one's roots.

What is nice is when someone or someones started the search before you.

She would agree with you. :) The relationship is getting better. But she told me that I would have to make a decision between my dog Lady and her in the same bed. It really wasn't that much of a compromise and its not that I don't love my dog. She said she had to do the same thing about her dog jumping in the bed. She told me that I just had to learn how to say no. With Lady I am supposed to be the master but her I am not supposed to be the master. Hmmm

I am really enjoying this two weeks off vacation. It has really been nice.

Genealogy can be fascinating from the short sight or the long sight, too, Jt. My dad's older brother, William worked for patrolling the border. He was a Christian. Dad was close to him. Dad was Atheist. My dad's younger brother, Coy was agnostic and he was involved taking illegal aliens across the border. So dad thought it was interesting that the two brothers could cancel each other out.

By 'fix her' I mean that by the longer she shared her story I found out that she was a normal human being who had been through a terrifying ordeal. In other words, she wasn't broken at all but very much a survivor. Every time she asked, "Do you think I am crazy?" I would say, "No" because I could understand her reasoning. Validation was very important to her. She had went through so much put down and psychobabble. I realized that she was just trying to make sense of a past relationship with a hurtful person who took credit for everything good. She would say, "I don't exist." And she would then go into the self-loathing. Which was really strange because she is beautiful to me. I just kept validating and it was doing more good than any other thing I could think of.

Not me. One partner is scary enough for me.

Thank you. Last night was especially trying. And she is going through therapy. I quit trying to fix her. I am really not qualified. And it wasn't what she wanted. She wanted me to understand the futility of 20 years of marriage since she herself tried to fix it and him. She tried to explained narcissism. I tried to explain sadism. The nervous laughter while she tried to explain how her children were damaged emotionally. All I could do was let her vent while I was listening and let her know I was listening. During that time it was better not to try interrupt because she was trying her best to tell me how it felt like. At times she would ask me if it was okay to hold my hand. She spooks really easy and any sudden movements on my part she was very sensitive, too. She was able finally to sleep for two hours. It gave her the greatest pleasure to make me dinner as long as I was there in the kitchen with her. I have never seen such a frightened individual. She had to go through a process where he isn't even allowed into the same state. She told me how she had to go into hiding with the kids out of the state because he had a rifle aimed at her and the kids. She told me how she had to not react to him in any way because she had learned that any way was wrong. What a nightmare she went through but I have never been able to communicate with someone so easily with someone. It is really helping me with this sharing that we are doing. One just has to have the patience of Job. But I can already tell that the rewards are amazing.

Oh, it really is. If I hold her long enough she will stop shaking and sleep. Of course, since her ex really hurt she doesn't like men or women to touch her. So it has really been a real compromise to not be a man or woman. It really wasn't until the empty nest syndrome hit her with her last child moving out that the four walls starting coming in. Of course, sex is definitely out of the question but it has been nice to not sleep alone. I just keep telling her it will be alright, stroking her head and rubbing her back and eventually she will actually sleep. It took a while to get in touch with the feminine side but this no side thing is really a challenge.

I really enjoyed watching him.

My friend is so needy and I am so clingy. We are making compromises. I tried to leave to give her space and she panicked. She moves away from me and I panicked. She told me if she needs space she will let me know. I let her know if I wanted to sit by myself I could do that at home. She moved closer. Hmm. Maybe there is something to this honest communication.

Very wonderful, indeed. Thanks, for sharing.

Thank you.

Oh, Mirror, mirror on the wall
You don't look like Alice at all.
You are just a dirty white boy
Who has a real strange story.

Its not that you don't speak.
Cause you can talk but weak.
You are just afraid to be real
Cause you are afraid to feel.

Cause if follow your heart
Will you be able to restart?
Can you really communicate
All of your reflected hate?

Or are you a broken mirror
And shards unknown fear?
Are you just a raging queen
Now caught in the between?

This masquerade you feel
Will it help heart to heal?
Or send you in the abyss
Cause Alice loves to kiss?

Do not forsake me, Alice.
The cup is the only solace.
Snow White has her apple.
The red queen can grapple.

Baby crawl to baby steps
The king falls so unkept.
But the blue adept lives
And himself he forgives.

The one who wanted sex said I did the right thing because she was wanting her cake and to eat it, too. She says that she really loves her man and with the panic attack I gave her by choosing the other she tried tempting her man. It worked. He is getting Viagra now. I just hope he doesn't get a heart attack because she is real tempting. She told me that the one who wanted intimacy can't have sex right now because the guy she had before really did a number on her head and body. I told the one who wanted sex that I bet she gets laid before I do. She laughed and agreed. So my final conclusion is that masturbation is a virtue.