A bit of a set back today. Last night I went to see my stepdad and the admissions girl came in and said she had great news... she told him and I that my mom would be coming tomorrow and she gave a time. Then today I was told that my mom did not come and that they put her in an entirely different nursing home. I am very upset with this. They say my mom has MRSA.... but ya know, she had MRSA years ago with the first nursing home... they are saying the MRSA is active and since he has a catheter they can't be together. I think this is nonsense and I am very upset because their 40th anniversary is approaching and he seems to do so much better with her around. He tells me how he 'loves that girl and just wants to know she is taken care of... he asks if she still has that house (their home)." All I know is that this is heartbreaking.... they both had pneumonia and the nursing home is saying it's the state law to test for MRSA and that no record of MRSA came with him.... but the thing is they were together in this nursing home before she ended up in the hospital again.... something is amiss. I'm having a hard time buying the MRSA excuse because common sense says they have hugged, kissed, and shared germs.... both were on oxygen too. Am I wrong?

Update: My mom is suppose to go back to the nursing home with my stepdad tomorrow. A few days ago he went to the hospital and asked her to marry him again... their 40th anniversary is coming up on Feb 12th. He always talks about my mother and how much he 'loves that girl'. He mentions how he just wants to know she is taken care of, and boy she is such a lucky lady! Even though my mom will go back to the nursing home, I know she is in the ending stages of COPD... which is lung disease for those who don't know.

I think my parents should be able to renew their vows. It's admirable that they have been together so long... through thick and thin.

The student I was working with who was such a high risk with biting, and grabbing heads is now in a new place for treatment. I was given a child who is far from my last student and biggest behavior is hugging, kissing others or speaking out loud and interrupting teacher or getting off task. I'm actually feeling quite out of place since I am use to one on one teaching now, and today I watched an entire class for one teacher. I also go from room to room and attend specials which I never did before. It's a huge change for me, but it's a good thing knowing I won't be attacked. Principal mentioned he just feels the other student will be back in a week.
I am thankful for the break, but also feeling like I need to go back to sixth grade again! lol I guess I'm getting a second education and boy have things changed since I've been in school.

Thank you CeriseRose for that wonderful poem! Beautiful!

Went to get my stepdad to take him to the hospital to see my mom... he has dementia. I saw my mom and boy she was looking really good, and then she said she had to use the bedpan.... she has runny stools now.... but when I went back in to see her.... what a huge change! She was out of breathe and struggling and boy this just stinks to high heavens watching her like this. I walked in that room with so much hope and left feeling horrible. Her memory isn't good either because she forgot my stepdad saw her yesterday with my aunt.

She doesn't seem to understand why she is where she is either. They say she has pneumonia.... so that must have never cleared up since they had released her to a nursing home.

I embrace the little things, and I am praying for a better job because that has me all stressed out to high heavens. I deal with an autistic students who grabs heads and tries to bite people, she self induces vomitting, smears feces, and my coworker left last week with a dislocated shoulder. All I can say is I need a much better paying job with less risk since my little boy needs me to take care of him and being hurt is not an option. Sigh... I dread work tomorrow since the strongest member of the team is now out for a few days.

Four am I received a call from my sister saying my mom was being rushed to the ER because she couldn't breathe. She is now in a hospital. I went to her house to retrieve her cat who is huge and reminds me of garfield... and boy was that an experience! The cat has always been one to hide and not really get too involved with people. I just hope she feels safe right now with me here. The poor thing has been staying under my bed and it's a big adjustment since she use to have my mom's dog to play with on occassion. My sister told me that before she decided to send my mom to the nursing home that hospice was mentioned as an alternative. Yet noone said she was terminal exactly. I guess hearing that this is the worst case of COPD that a doc has ever seen is something else.... and it reminds me that miracles do happen. My mom has been ill for a long time.... since 1996 when she almost died then. We have been so blessed to have her. Hugs to all of you who are praying... means a great deal to all of us.

Terry.... another fantastic write! You are so right, and it seems to be so sad.

Welcome to Mingle.... many wonderful people on here! I, too, am a BBW.

Take my hand and walk with me, In a forest deep, Thicket laid in harmony, Serenity there I keep,

Birds come calling as I wait, Knowing HE will call, I feel the grandour all around, For the Lord he's made it all.

Escape the pain and burdon, Run with me through the fields, Of daisys in a meadow, When we escape what life did deal.
...
Come with me through bubbling streams, Sleigh with me through the snow, Where ever that we choose to go, May my loved ones always know...

Love has no time or place, It has no specific season, It's one thing we can't erase, No matter what we think our reason.

Find some laughter in a song, Feel the breeze blow through your hair, Know one day when heaven calls, Love remains in memories here.

Sparkling stars will light the sky, In heaven just for you, So wipe away your tears of grief, For one day HE comes for you.

For today-this moment, Inhale the beauty of a life, Nothing will wipe away memories, Of Mother, sister, friend... wife.

_____________

Oops needed to make some corrections to this. My mom is in a nursing home and struggles to breathe. I wrote this with her in mind.

Terry, I will keep you in my prayers because I know it is not easy to stop smoking, but I do believe you CAN do it. If I wished anything for others, it is that they find the strength to quit smoking so that the future isn't the same as my mom's has been. It is horrible watching my mom suffer as she has, and she takes anxiety pills because when you can't breathe it is a very scary thing. Last time I saw her she said she couldn't eat... and I told her that isn't good and she said "I know". Terry, one day at a time!

Prayers being sent for your Dad, and family.

Take my hand and walk with me, In a forest deep, Thicket laid in harmony, Serenity there I keep,

Birds come calling as I wait, Knowing HE will call, I feel the grandour all around, For the Lord he's made it all.

Escape the pain and burdon, Run with me through the fields, Of daisys in a meadow, When we escape what life did deal.
...
Come with me through bubbling streams, Sleigh with me through the snow, Where ever that we choose to go, May my loved ones always know...

Love has no time or place, It has no specific season, It's one thing we can't erase, No matter what we think our reason.

Find some laughter in a song, Feel the breeze blow through your hair, Know one day when heaven calls, Love remains in memories here.

Sparkling stars will light the sky, In heaven just for you, So wipe away your tears of grief, For one day HE comes for you.

For today-this moment, Inhale the beauty of a life, Nothing will wipe away memories, Of Mother, sister, friend... wife.

SDF 1/13/12

Hello... today was Noah's birthday and so I took the birthday cake to my parents in the nursing home... they are at least united now. Thing is my mom is not doing well at all. She told me she can't eat and they had her on the cpap mask before dinner. I find this to be heart breaking and I guess I'm just afraid she is slipping away. I know right now she'd tell me she lived a good life, cus I've heard her say this to me before. My stepdad is in his own world, but he amazes me every now and then with a joke or what have you. I know he is very happy to see us when we come.

I am certainly praying for God's best right now.

Trying to remember
The words my mother said
Read the whole book
Brush your teeth before you go to bed

Never judge a person
From anything but what's within
Think about your actions
Live life with a grin

Trying to remember
As she now struggles to breathe
Wishing I could fix it
Like all the times that she fixed me

Bandaides on my knees
A puke pan by my bed
Yet the time we had is gone now
Her passing I do dread

She tried to find the good
In everyone she met
She is my best friend
One I'll never quite forget

I'm praying now for strength
Knowing my mother now needs me
To be the calm during the storm
When she sails off to see

She lost her little boy
When he was only two
Her life has been a hard one
Yet she always did make due

Her parents both deceased
Her twin sister died a few years before
A brother is in heaven
I know she waits to meet the Lord

It's hard knowing one day
That final call will come
I just pray the Lord will ease her pain
When her victory here is won

For today I'll be her strength
Try to ease her pain with joy
As we watch my son with Down syndrome
Be a happy little boy

Bouncing around her room
With such joy in his eyes
Singing and doing a silly dance
I can see the light in her eyes

She manages to tell me
"Keeps you busy"... yes, mom every day
Her hands are cold as ice
I want to kneel down to pray

I know I have to remember
There is a season for all things
I've been lucky to have had her as a mom
No matter what tomorrow brings

Please remember
the advice of a mom
For one day she may be weak
While you are left there to be strong

When it's over
And the final journey is done
Remember there is nothing
With love that you can't overcome

It's my love for my mother
My love for my best friend
That will get me through the grief
When her journey comes to an end

---------------------------------

I saw my mom struggling to breathe today and to lift her glasses back on her face. She was so frail and weak but her memory I never want to erase. I know she has longed to see my brother who died 47 years ago when he was two years old. I guess I need to git my butt to bed cus morning comes early. Praying my mom gets through tonight to see her husband when he is moved to see her.

SDF

SDF 1-8-12

I'm here to win!

Rough day today. Went to see my mom who certainly was really struggling to just breathe today. She could barely talk at all, and it is so darn hard watching her struggle like this. My stepdad joins her tomorrow afternoon. I sit back thinking I hate knowing she is alone right now, but I'm a single Mom and also need to take care of my son with Down syndrome. I went to see my stepdad who was telling me to let mom know he was coming.... but I know calling her is not a good thing right now when she can't breathe. She knows he is coming soon. I've seen her struggle before, but this time does feel different and maybe it is because I know she isn't going home. I hope seeing him make a difference, and I hope he can handle this because it is hard seeing her struggling.

worked for the circus as bozo

Is a lion in bed.... or lying in bed