Hmmm. That would work for SOME "techniques."

Just saying.

Of course it depends on what you want to be safe FROM.

Somewhere close enough that it isn't stale by the time it gets here.

Best pizza I've had, was from a place in Richmond Virginia. No longer exists, unfortunately. Something about their unique cheese blend.

My sense is that I've never had the BEST pizza. I like the sauces some places use, but not the crust; the crust some places use, but not the spices; the spices some places use, but not the cheese, and so on.

If I weren't cursed as a cook, I'd try to make my own.

One of the things that makes all aspects of living tricky, while dealing with other people, is that we can (almost) all think.

That has a side effect, that some people end up thinking things through ahead of time, and when they imagine that things wont go their way if they are honest and open, they might decide to try saying not the truth.

Even some mostly honest people who mean well, will say things other than the truth, if nothing else, to avoid tension or friction that they fear might come if they WERE entirely honest.

And of course, especially here in "relationshipland," it's common for people to believe that a little bit of lying at the beginning is all but imperative. The most common lie told, I suspect, is saying that they don't mind something, when actually they very much do. But they hope that they'll be able to put up with it until they like you enough that it stops bothering them, or that they can eventually convince you to change for them.

I end up forgiving some kinds of lies, almost without another thought, but some others are the kind that make any continued relating impossible.

Take them one at a time.

Actually, I'm not really sure, since all I've tried so far IS life.

This is why I have long thought that no one who can afford to travel on a vacation, should be allowed to do so.

Something I had to deal with, due to various things (primarily mental illness).

The "negotiations" themselves matter. In my case, they were fairly mundane, since neither of us were cheating, or doing any other such tawdry things.

I tend to react very badly to such things. Had I not been married by the time it happened, I would probably have responded by ending the relationship permanently, though again, it depends on details.

I have been with people suffering extreme stresses of various kinds, such as families in strife and danger, and I don't hold people who are under such deeply disturbing stress to the same standards. Someone who is dealing with death of a loved one, that sort of thing. Temporarily insanity is understandable as well.

But if my sense is that the woman thinks that striking me is a logical and acceptable thing to do, in the common course of a "negotiation," it proves that we are philosophically incompatible in the extreme.

Not much to go on, just from this, but I am hugely in favor of applying logic to solve any situation.

The main danger I have some people get into taking on something like this themselves, is in overstepping legal boundaries in overeagerness.

There was a local mystery here many years ago, that I had a sort of instant suspicion about, which later turned out to be correct. I wish I had followed up on it when I had it, since it was over five years before the authorities worked things out.

Yes of course.

Just not a REproductive life.

Well, your math is wrong, but I don't disagree with most of your reasoning.

Retail prices are calculated using a TOTAL COST to the seller, not on a base cost, with all additional costs passed on as is. So a thirty dollar cost rise wont be passed on as a thirty dollar retail rise, in most cases.

In addition, there is a difference between a tariff on specific final products, and the kind of across the board tariffs being applied in this case. The AGGREGATE cost to domestic consumers when tariffs are applied to a wide swath of products, means that the overall cost of living for anyone who requires those products will take place.

I see that Trump backed off for now, on the tariff affecting automobile parts manufactured overseas, so that's one industry here that wont be AS damaged as others will be.

Again, I come back to the main thing, which is that these tariffs are not supposed to be permanent, they are supposed to cause China to change their trading ways. If China DOES change as desired, these tariffs will go away, and that's why no large businesses are moving to rebuild American industries here because of them.

It's not clear yet what changes Trump and the GOP want China to make, and it is especially unclear whether those changes would make American industrial jobs again pay in the middle class range, as Trump seems to imply he favors.

Since Trump and the Republicans are both strongly OPPOSED to alternative energy development, and only support ONE "solution" to oil prices (increasing domestic production), the "compelling reasons" you like wouldn't be on their agenda.

According to what you've posted here about this, it doesn't appear that TRUST is the right or accurate word to use.

In your setup post, you say "Your not officially together." As in, you describe a situation where, without any discussion about commitment or of what kind of relationship you are in, you started regularly having sex with the woman.

Apparently from this "I moved out", you actually MOVED INTO HER PLACE at some point. Again, still without agreeing even on any vague guidelines. At least, so far as you've told us, you never even once brought up the idea of monogamy.

Logically, therefore, this doesn't have anything at all to do with TRUST, it has to do only with what YOU chanced to ASSUME, and what she did not.

The logical question is, do you think she WILL live up to a vow of monogamy, if you elicit one from her, and before that, are you capable of setting aside your emotional upset at realizing that you were just one of many guys she was "enjoying?"

If either of those answers is "no," then obviously the discussion is over.

The problem with the logic behind having a "test period" living together, is that it doesn't allow for the number one most significant phenomenon that happens with marriage.

That is, that a person's entire perception of life and the world and themselves, functionally changes as soon as they say their "I do's."

The main thing about it, that most people don't recognize until their first serious argument, is what your options are, when there's a problem.

The first time you walk out the door in a huff, and realize that you HAVE TO GO BACK BECAUSE YOU'RE MARRIED, everything changes.

When you're "just testing," somewhere in the back of your mind, you know that. And that invalidates the bulk of the test, unfortunately.

I'm not saying don't do it, I'm just saying don't expect the test to protect you from finding out that you aren't as lifestyle compatible LONG term, as you think it will.

Although I sharply disagree with your obvious prejudices and much of your reasoning, I think your prediction is accidentally accurate. And you are correct that so far, there is no cohesive leadership message coming from the Democrats, and hasn't been for some time.

Which is a shame, because the Republicans are intent on ignoring certain serious problems, and so there is no balance to the nation going forward.

I've always fixed machines for my living, and one thing I have seen repeated again and again, is that when machines break down for one reason, and that reason alone is addressed at the expense of another important part of the machine, there will be a brief time during which everything will seem to improve a lot...but it will be followed by an even worse breakdown later.

That happens in processes as well. Classic example, are companies that decide to balance their internal budgets and increase profits, by reducing or eliminating thorough training of employees, and by eliminating safety tests. At first, the lower cost of doing business seems to bouy the company up, and make them more successful; until the lack of proper training and safety leads to a tragedy.

My biggest problem with the Trump instigated tariffs, is primarily that his stated reasoning for applying them, is dead false.

I strongly support action against China's VERY long standing and ongoing trade abuses.

But the President keeps speaking falsely, and claiming that CHINA pays the tariffs we place on them, and that billions of dollars are already flowing FROM CHINA, into American pockets, because of them. That is NOT happening, and never will.

That doesn't mean I oppose all tariffs. It just means that when a leader LIES to me about what they are doing, I learn to distrust their goals and their competence.

The idea of tariffs has always been to do one or both of two things: bring in revenue to the host government; that is, to add another TAX on their OWN CITIZENS, while pretending it is a penalty against another country; and to punish the buyers of foreign goods, for refusing to buy competing domestic goods instead.

It's possible that one or both of those goals can be an overall good idea, in the long term best interests of the host country. But LYING about tariffs as they are instigated, suggests another motivation entirely.

I agree, especially in that many people do use "get over it" as a disparaging statement.

As for the challenge itself, the death, the loss, the upset, the recovery or response can be essentially "immune" to any hope of leaving it in the past. In most cases, what we suffer, becomes an inherent part of us going forward. Thus in a real way, we can neither "get over," OR "get through" it.

And sometimes even people with the best intentions, who suggest that we "get over" or "get through" something (especially if they haven't had such an experience themselves), only really want to be able THEMSELVES, to go back to behaving and doing whatever they were doing with the sufferer before. It's usually not really selfishness, just ignorance.

This only matters, if you don't really want to be married.

What I mean is, that REAL marriage means that you decide that your life adventure isn't going to be about how you like your home, it is going to be about whatever it takes to live together.

If what you really want, is a compatible roommate, who has sex with you on occasion, don't get married at all.

What you are missing in this silliness, is that the tariffs aren't doing what you think they are.

There IS NO struggling US industry that will take off because the Chinese imports will now be more expensive. The industries involved were moved elsewhere a long time ago.

You probably didn't notice, because the news industry in the US stopped investigating anything decades ago, and now only reports whatever they are told, usually by the government...but the tariffs that were ALREADY enacted, accomplished NOTHING of what was promised. No return of any manufacturing to the US; no increase in American desire to buy American made goods (because there are so few).

And certainly no change in Chinese trade practices.

Some American manufacturing businesses have actually been KILLED by the tariffs, because they were dependent on imported resources to be competitive.

That means more American working class incomes left the country.

Why do I get the feeling that the op has seen a secret report saying we will soon all have to eat nothing but kale and unbuttered broccoli, in order to be physically able to have sex?

Well, for sure, I have no interest whatsoever in being around someone who thinks that "making life their five asterisks" is a positive way to look at anything.

And as with others here, I saw a long while ago, that the whole idea of looking for someone else to "complete" you is a mistake.

What I've been after with no success, for half a century now, is someone who like me, views life as pretty much whatever happens (like the John Lennon quote), and that the point is to have someone to deal with it all, side by side.

Just for the sake of enjoying each other as we do whatever we do.

Hmmm..

It looks to me from this, that you don't differentiate between "flirting" and "chatting."

I do. I don't think of "flirting" as anything other than showing interest in another person for more than just passing the time.

Since I work with strangers all day for my (rudimentary) living, I've become very good at amiable chatting, and can usually carry on some sort of conversation about almost anything, without much difficulty.

But for all my life, I've been entirely unable to recognize when someone is actively flirting with me, and showing interest. Possibly because most people DO "chat" in meaningless ways when they are flirting, and so there's no easy way to tell the difference.

I'm also terribly shy, when it comes to any serious attempts to pursue interest in someone, despite the ability to "chat" easily. Possibly because of all the times when I thought I identified "flirting," only to be very embarrassed when I learn that no, it was just aimless chat after all.

I'm only good at conversation when I force myself NOT to gain any serious interest in someone.

Though, since it has been a VERY long time since I seriously tried, as some others have said as well, who knows.