She's tired of biotchy bologna every day, so by starving herself she's gonna try and lose enough weight to be able to sneak through the biotchy bars and escape.

Did somebody say............... CAKE!

Candy AND a goose?!?! Is it my Bday already? Wait, there is cake, right?

Ducks? They're a bit tamer and I'm guessing a little tastier.

My car told me that last weekend. Yep. I shoulda listened.

I hope not with REAL geese. Them critters are mean!

But, but, but, I don't wanna clean.

I can sleep about 70 in my back yard. About 500 if you don't want a car to lay in.

Maybe it was optimistically expanding it's reach just for your criteria. Then it gave up.........

A cop once told me that I have the right to remain silent. That's some pretty damned good advice in soooooooo many situations.

Not quite sure, but potatoes, eggs and onions are involved. Hmmm. Also have milk, butter, cheese, flour and yeast.... PB+J also...... This could get....... interesting......

My cat will if you give him tuna. Sorry, I don't swing that way, so.....

That's how I'd do it (and how I was taught). None of this instant money cause 'you deserve it'. There is no such thing as entitlement for being alive. Work for it just like you're supposed to. It doesn't get any easier as you get older, so ween them into it. If questioned, make clear that you have to work just to keep them alive (then let them spend a month figuring out all the bills). Then show them how much you make (best if not rich). Then show them the classifieds and what jobs pay (and with what education). If they don't give up just by figuring out that amount of math by now, you got the start of either a mathmetician or a lawyer. Maybe they can support YOU in 30 years. If my parents gave me money at will(or had it) I wouldn't have learned how to do much of what I do today. I grew up with flea-market stuff and fixing things on my own because I couldn't afford to pay anybody to do it for me. Or, building stuff I wanted from whatever materials I could scrounge up. From a lot of book reading and a LOT more hands on I was fixing radios, TV's, BUILDING circuit boards, multi-floor tree houses with nothing but found wood and used nails that are in better shape than some welfare apartments, later making motorcycle parts from practically nothing. I accumulated enough electronic test equipment to cover a wall (and knew how to use it!)! That was by the time I was 13 (I'm 38 now). All of that came to use for me. Yeah, I still have the wall-worth of electronic test equipment (even though mostly WAY out-dated now), but what better way to test 50's-70's sound/music equipment? That somewhat became second place as I got my first motorcycle. A busted Yamaha DT-250E when I was 12. Paid $100 for it (and A LOT OF saving). Still got that bike (even though spread here and there and what was left outside rotted back to Earth). I fooled with that thing till I got it running and rode the crap out of it for 2 years till it blew up an I moved on to others. Went on to high school and bought by first car from money I saved working summers and a paper route 7 days a week..... '81 Camaro. Well, teenage drivers are hard on a car... I had to fix it myself..... Directly out of high school I went to school to work on cars. 2 Months after graduating (from all but one class they offered.... and 'I' paid for it all!) I starting doing it professionally. 19 years later, still doing it and now for myself. While getting my business going, doing jobs of ALL aspects of home building/rebuilding/repairing as well as other jobs including turning a wrench, you name it. I didn't have to put in job applications. They came to ME cause they knew I had skills and work ethic, but without all those skills that I picked up along the way, I wouldn't be where I am now. I STILL pick some nice extra $ here and there from people who COME TO ME in need stuff fixed on their house or need computers fixed as an added bonus. When you're taught tough from the start and learn to fend for yourself, you adapt different skills that will not only keep you alive, but will keep you successful.

I like them kind of chicks! They smell like leather at first, then later.......

As single as a Corvair sitting in the row of Corvettes at the car lot.

I'd still have an issue with somebody who's barely on their second razor telling me I busted something with a name longer than most third world countries.

And here in Pittsburgh we have all four seasons in the same week.... 80 degrees today. Snow tomorrow.... Never know.......

Ain't THAT the truth! One reason I try to stay out of there.... Well, besides that they have this fetish about using whips, stones, tar and feathers. Oh, wait..... Why AREN'T I there!?!?