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You said you are using it to get to know them better. I am asking you how meaningful can it really be if you are just giving it up while you get to know them better while dating?
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. Who said it didn't mean much? We all have different preferences when it comes to sex. But why do you think mine means it has lost whatever value you're talking about? Don't take it out of context. You're on quote says your using it to get to know them while dating. Dating is just that, dating. Not very meaningful if you are just giving it up to someone while you get to know them during dating is it? Now you're the one making assumptions. Didn't you just tell me not to do that earlier?  If you want to judge others based on when they have sex, that's up to you. Sex for me is part of dating. Does that mean I have sex with every single person I go on a date with? No. If you have more questions about how I feel about sex, feel free to ask. It's better than jumping to the conclusion that I just giving it up to anyone.  Who has judged you for having sex while you are just dating? Not i. I asked you a question see the ?. As for the meaning of what you are doing, that is between you and them and as you stated, you are using it to get to know them better. But when i read your post it did not seem very meaningful if you are using it to get to know them. You understand? To me dating is just that dating. It does not say i am committed to one person or seeing just them. |
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And don't worry Sing i am not attacking your actions, just questioning them to better understand.
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. Who said it didn't mean much? We all have different preferences when it comes to sex. But why do you think mine means it has lost whatever value you're talking about? Don't take it out of context. You're on quote says your using it to get to know them while dating. Dating is just that, dating. Not very meaningful if you are just giving it up to someone while you get to know them during dating is it? |
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I honestly don't think most people (men or women) would wait 3 months for sex either. I'm not saying that waiting a bit is a bad idea at all, just that 90 days is a long time. For me, sex is part of getting to know someone I'm dating. Sex use to be about something more meaningful than just getting to know some one you dated. Shame it has lost that value. |
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right sing, I just didnt like the mood I seemed to be creating and I wanted to be sure I was understood. He could have felt attacked without an intentional attack and I just wanted to be clear that I didnt want that in any shape or form. I understand why you questioned and what you thought you saw (Flashback to that relationship). And I appreciate you coming out and acknowledging the mood of the thread had taken a turn and why. As for Sing, she has been questioning what i type for days, i have grown use to it & learned to ignore being drawn into arguing with her  . Bottom line i learned something from you two, Stop trying to be respectful and just treat them like they want to be treated. Surely her actions will lead me to give her what she wants.
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I agree any relationship (dating bf/gf/marriage etc etc) should have touch. But I disagree with you if you think it is a must on the first date. And i would honestly like to think that a woman can appreciate a man wanting to enjoy their first date about more than when will i kiss her, when will we band, i wonder if she likes.........." 6 Dates however, is a lot more time than any person should be going with out showing affection for the person you are seeing. I understand why you left it, i understand why you took issue with me and my posts. You see his actions, but you forgot i was only discussing one first date with out a kiss. Enjoy your evening and i hope things get better for you  . I was trina reiterate that I was referring to the first couple a dates and not specifically the first. You should only do what youre comfortable doing, I was only pointing out the possible thoughts that go thru a gals mind. Thanks for the well wishes but I dug that relationship out of the past to illustrate the point I was making. It was about a year ago. I have a feeling your gal knows you have a great deal of romance behind your conversations and will happily wait for the right moment with you. I am pretty sure i am single, maybe i should have kissed her!!!
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Edited by
exxman
on
Mon 08/15/11 07:14 PM
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exxman, Im so sorry about the mood of this thread. You must feel attacked and that wasnt what I was going for so I apologise for that. Truly, Im only trying to make a point about the importance of a simple touch. A peck on the cheek, or the like. Youve been very kind to share what youve experienced and Im grateful that you continued to talk about things. Don't worry about it. I been on here for under 2 weeks been very open about who i am and how i live my life. In that 2 weeks i have had more than enough of my thoughts being "attacked or my actions questioned". I agree any relationship (dating bf/gf/marriage etc etc) should have touch. But I disagree with you if you think it is a must on the first date. And i would honestly like to think that a woman can appreciate a man wanting to enjoy their first date about more than when will i kiss her, when will we bang, i wonder if she likes.........." 6 Dates however, is a lot more time than any person should be going with out showing affection for the person you are seeing. I understand why you left it, i understand why you took issue with me and my posts. You see his actions, but you forgot i was only discussing one first date with out a kiss. Enjoy your evening and i hope things get better for you .
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If you dont touch your date, eventually, depending on how long that goes on, you are at risk for being considered uninterested. I dont know why this concept alone is so abrasive to you. Its not a personal assessment of how your personal relationship is going. Its a general statement. I am on friendly terms with the man I referred to. We are just not dating. Eventually and the first date, are different times. You are using your own history with some guy who did not touch you, to address what i did do. Or are you comparing my first date with how long was you're relationship with him? How long did the lack of touch bother you? I am glad you got out, sounds like you were not getting what you were looking for. No one should be in one of those. Im not using my history to address what you did. Im using my perception to determine whether I feel a man is attracted to me or not. If a gal gets a gentle touch once in a while, a poke in the arm, a lean across, etc, she may think you arent attracted. It was about 6 dates. I don't remember for sure how long. 3-4 weeks would suck with the feeling of no affection. "Let me put it another way. Ever get tired of feeling like you are a piece of meat? All the guy wants to do is FU roll over go to sleep or leave? Wouldn't it be nice to know a man on THE FIRST DATE has an interest in knowing more about who you are ? Making you laugh? Showing up with a dozen roses?" |
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If you dont touch your date, eventually, depending on how long that goes on, you are at risk for being considered uninterested. I dont know why this concept alone is so abrasive to you. Its not a personal assessment of how your personal relationship is going. Its a general statement. I am on friendly terms with the man I referred to. We are just not dating. Eventually and the first date, are different times. You are using your own history with some guy who did not touch you, to address what i did do. Or are you comparing my first date with how long was you're relationship with him? How long did the lack of touch bother you? I am glad you got out, sounds like you were not getting what you were looking for. No one should be in one of those. |
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If you dont touch your date, eventually, depending on how long that goes on, you are at risk for being considered uninterested. I dont know why this concept alone is so abrasive to you. Its not a personal assessment of how your personal relationship is going. Its a general statement. I am on friendly terms with the man I referred to. We are just not dating. Whoaaaaa first off i am not offended by anyone doing anything they want to be doing and when they do it. It was one first date Let me put it another way. Ever get tired of feeling like you are a piece of meat? All the guy wants to do is FU roll over go to sleep or leave? Wouldn't it be nice to know a man on THE FIRST DATE has an interest in knowing more about who you are ? Making you laugh? Showing up with a dozen roses? . And i will keep yall's advice in mind in the future yall are women so obviously you know what yalls desires are. I am just a man after all and to us a Rubik's Cube can be easier to figure out . The world is lost with non romantic people, Glad i can make my own map 
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Edited by
exxman
on
Mon 08/15/11 05:50 PM
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I wonder how often the anticipation of sex is better than the sex itself..... I get a thrill out of all the non sexual stuff, like kissing, hugging, fondling, and even talking about our interests sexually , those are nice fillers that show interest without having to go 'all the way' with anyone,,, Or the anticipation of that moment where the sparks (Safe to guess you have a spark or you would not be there) become fireworks. *Waves* If it's a first date, I don't think it's safe to assume there are sparks already. Isn't that what the date is to find out? Quit *** u me ing. If the date was a woman whom i met locally wouldn't it be safe to guess there is a spark or attraction that got you a phone number to establish a date? And if days or week passes before you get on that date, and you then spend time conversing is it not even safer to say that that spark has an interest since that time has elapsed......... Why am i explaining this ............. My comment was in general about first dates. It was my opinion, as for me, first dates are to see if there's anything there worth continuing. I won't know that until the actual date happens. I just happened to reply to yours because you said it's safe to guess (assume) you have a spark or you would not be there. So you give your number out to unattractive guys? Let me rephrase that just for you. Your out at a club ugly guy wants your number you gonna give it to him? Good looking guy hits you up and asks for your number you gonna give it to him? I am betting the answers are no and yes (maybe i am wrong). You don't know anything about the ugly guy you just see him for his looks which are not a spark /attraction/interest for you. The good looking guy comes up asks for your number you will be more inclined won't you? Ugly guy = no spark the guy you see as good looking = spark or interest right to your eyes? |
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You were saying from her view she thought i might be gay because i did not try to kiss her after i was the one to ask her out (Is their an elmer fud yibbidy yibbiddy yibbidy thats all folks smiley lol). And again she knew just as i knew that there would be a second date. I won't bother guessing why he did not touch you. I have no idea. But we are not discussing on ongoing relationship that lacked physical contact. We are discussing one first date.  Yes, it was just my perspective. I value a variety of perspectives. Including yours. We just had no chemistry, thats all. He was/is a fine person. I personally didnt want to invest so much of myself if it wasnt towards a romantic connection. Life can never give you enough friends. |
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I wonder how often the anticipation of sex is better than the sex itself..... I get a thrill out of all the non sexual stuff, like kissing, hugging, fondling, and even talking about our interests sexually , those are nice fillers that show interest without having to go 'all the way' with anyone,,, Or the anticipation of that moment where the sparks (Safe to guess you have a spark or you would not be there) become fireworks. *Waves* If it's a first date, I don't think it's safe to assume there are sparks already. Isn't that what the date is to find out? Quit *** u me ing. If the date was a woman whom i met locally wouldn't it be safe to guess there is a spark or attraction that got you a phone number to establish a date? And if days or week passes before you get on that date, and you then spend time conversing is it not even safer to say that that spark has an interest since that time has elapsed......... Why am i explaining this ............. |
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However the last first date i had i did not kiss her when i could have. As i told her "I am not looking to define a moment, i will know because the moment will define itself." And this i believe. She prolly thought you were gay. js. Prolly, you know some women aren't use to a man showing respect like that. Did i mention i gave her dozen roses and open doors? Just being me. Wait, do you mean you think she did think you were gay? Truly, I think youre grand, sir, so I hope you did not think I was insulting you. Really, if you dont make a move on the first few dates, a girl typically thinks youre not interested. More specifically, not attracted. Friend zone. And we're not talking about groping, or sex...just a kiss. A kiss is not a show of disrespect unless its a tonsilectomy by tongue. Hmm. Even then its not really disrespect rather, forwardness. Nah i did not take your comment serious. See there are factors that go beyond the "first date" that are being over looked or just not discussed. Just because i told her when the moment comes we would know that alone was the first hint at another time in the future. So For a first date you need to be communicating. This can be in many forms but it would stand to reason the date was a local one not an online one (Someone in another state or city) which would then tell me there is probably some phone conversing going on. So just because i did not kiss her when the first chance arose, did not mean i wasn't interested. In fact i think it would send a message of we have another date to come, as well as more communicating to go through. As for making a move, i can show interest with out having to touch a woman. Whole lot of methods for having a great time and keeping some one interested in you and wanting to know more . I was serious, I just meant I meant no disrespect to you over it. I must say, while I respect that, I still feel like a guy isnt attracted with no touching. Even a shoulder nudge, or something. I broke up with someone because he never touched me, so I didnt feel like I was attractive to him. He wanted to keep chatting anyway, for fun, cuz he liked me, so I think I was correct. You were saying from her view she thought i might be gay because i did not try to kiss her after i was the one to ask her out (Is their an elmer fud yibbidy yibbiddy yibbidy thats all folks smiley lol). And again she knew just as i knew that there would be a second date. I won't bother guessing why he did not touch you. I have no idea. But we are not discussing on ongoing relationship that lacked physical contact. We are discussing one first date. |
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Edited by
exxman
on
Mon 08/15/11 05:20 PM
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I wonder how often the anticipation of sex is better than the sex itself..... I get a thrill out of all the non sexual stuff, like kissing, hugging, fondling, and even talking about our interests sexually , those are nice fillers that show interest without having to go 'all the way' with anyone,,, Or the anticipation of that moment where the sparks (Safe to guess you have a spark or you would not be there) become fireworks. *Waves*
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However the last first date i had i did not kiss her when i could have. As i told her "I am not looking to define a moment, i will know because the moment will define itself." And this i believe. She prolly thought you were gay. js. Prolly, you know some women aren't use to a man showing respect like that. Did i mention i gave her dozen roses and open doors? Just being me. Wait, do you mean you think she did think you were gay? Truly, I think youre grand, sir, so I hope you did not think I was insulting you. Really, if you dont make a move on the first few dates, a girl typically thinks youre not interested. More specifically, not attracted. Friend zone. And we're not talking about groping, or sex...just a kiss. A kiss is not a show of disrespect unless its a tonsilectomy by tongue. Hmm. Even then its not really disrespect rather, forwardness. Nah i did not take your comment serious. See there are factors that go beyond the "first date" that are being over looked or just not discussed. Just because i told her when the moment comes we would know that alone was the first hint at another time in the future. So For a first date you need to be communicating. This can be in many forms but it would stand to reason the date was a local one not an online one (Someone in another state or city) which would then tell me there is probably some phone conversing going on. So just because i did not kiss her when the first chance arose, did not mean i wasn't interested. In fact i think it would send a message of we have another date to come, as well as more communicating to go through. As for making a move, i can show interest with out having to touch a woman. Whole lot of methods for having a great time and keeping some one interested in you and wanting to know more .
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Topic:
guys vs girls - part 36
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564
@ Find
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However the last first date i had i did not kiss her when i could have. As i told her "I am not looking to define a moment, i will know because the moment will define itself." And this i believe. She prolly thought you were gay. js. Prolly, you know some women aren't use to a man showing respect like that. Did i mention i gave her dozen roses and open doors? Just being me. Are those who kiss on the first date not showing respect? I did not say that. You do what works for you, kiss the guy when you think it's right and that's all that matters right? |
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It's refreshing to know their are still Men like you...  Runs in and hands Rhon a , Sorry i did not realize you were peeking over my shoulder
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