Number one....I arranged to meet her myself, been doing wrestling related sessions similar to this for a few years now. No sex involved ever mind you, those I've seen don't do that. Second, I found out later she has a boyfriend through her manager whom I had communicated with long before I ever met her. I have been told by someone via tarot this will change though and the effects of our meeting are already beginning. Whether it does or not remains to be seen but guess I'll find out soon.

and as for flaws and things. Yeah I do think I could handle it. I would commit to this wholeheartedly if this is what I believe it to be. Scares me but....I would go with it without a thought.

Haven't been here in a long while but I'd like to get some opinions on this. Ever since I met this woman a week ago now through an arranged one on one get together (she is a wrestler and boxer and travels around meeting guys for sessions)....and since I've really realized what she may mean to me...I've been consumed by her.....my thoughts are almost entirely fixated on her. Appetite is gone, sex drive (and it was always really high I might add) gone, very little interest in it anymore, like it feels wrong/odd if not shared with her in some form, focus on tasks, gone. It's like I'm going through the motions, like I'm almost missing a part of myself, of my soul.

The whole thing is like nothing I've ever felt, it's incredibly intense....I'd go travel with her tomorrow if she asked me to without even a thought. I've become THAT sure that there is something here....that I have to follow this path, follow what my heart seems to be screaming, despite anything else in the way, be it distance, other people around both of us (she is taken at present), the fact I just met her, etc etc. I've never had someone effect my life like this, nothing I've been through before or felt before can compare to it even remotely.

This isn't crazy is it? I feel so sure about her, about my relationship to her.....never been as sure about anything before.

I haven't used soap in the shower (or shampoo either) for quite some time using just water instead as I feel neither are that good for the body in the form we know them. Funny thing too.....before I had this big brown patch on my legs when I was using soap......stopped using it and scrubbed it good, never came back. Funny no?

I may try this olive oil trick in addition to water.....wonder what it would do for hair as well, any thoughts there? Thanks for sharing in any case.

I can't say what I manifested today.......but I think I have manifested, or seen the results of a manifest this week. As I've mentioned here before.......I have been dabbling into wrestling for fun and as a physical test the last year or two.

Well since I had started, I have had these thoughts in my head of what it'd be like to do that for a living or in part.....be it helping out girls that travel in dealing with potential clients for sessions (the most recent idea I had but never had the guts to ask about), coming up with creative ideas for video shoots, be them competitive matches, or more fantasy stuff, or even being in videos myself.

For a while it seemed like all of that was a pipe dream, and I had been questioning just what I was doing, where my priorities were after having spent so much on all this....and thinking about where I could be with money if I had spent less even though getting out has had its' benefits.

But I guess in my subconscious mind having that small shred of hope somewhere has actually paid off, cause now everything has changed after seeing a woman this past week. I hadn't anticipated anything to come of it beyond just a typical session like the others but.....not only did we get into the idea of doing work on her site to help girls out as they travel (which was something I was hoping maybe to do for an in at some point), but....we actually got it planned now to do some shooting together when she comes back here. I am gonna talk to the next woman I see this week upcoming about arranging a shoot with her too perhaps if she is onboard with it.

I really can't believe this is happening but it is. This may very well be my big break, it's a huge opportunity for me. I don't know where this is gonna take me but I feel more motivated and inspired than I have in a long long time. Makes me wanna push myself to get into a better position too.....from learning to drive to get around easy without expenses (something that prevented me from going back to see this woman again last night to possibly film a shoot she was to do with another guy), to getting reacquainted to using a camera again after several years not.....I just have a huge push of motivation right now that I haven't had a lot of in the past.

It's really true isn't it? If you want something badly enough.....the universe will help you make it happen somehow. I know I had noticed that with this wrestling stuff even when it's been challenging to arrange, I've found a way to make it happen if I really wanted to do it. It's all about that energy isn't it? Having that passion for something. You push for it, you believe it, you will get where you wish to be....

So yeah.....this week may well be the defining moment in my life where everything really starts to change....

That's all well and good if people kept such beliefs personal to themselves.......but that doesn't happen. Religious people tend to wield their religion like a sword, you either agree with them/live like they do, or you are wrong and cast out. This is a problem. I have no problem with people believing as they want to believe, my problem is when they use that belief to shun others who think differently.

who who is? Christians?

doesn't that lend itself to separation too? There's still a problem there, as Christians, no matter what denomination you subscribe to, the Bible is treated as the ULTIMATE authority on right and wrong....you cannot question it or challenge it without it coming on you as not having enough faith or whatever way you wish to put it. If that doesn't limit discussion and debate I don't know what does. How can you freely talk about the validity of something when you HAVE to agree ahead of time that what you're challenging is true as written or you are wrong? You can't.

This. I think how we educate, or really don't about sex, does a lot more harm than any porn ever could. We make it all a forbidden fruit, and we all should know what happens when you do that, it makes the desire for said fruit stronger. If we educated our kids about their hormones, their sexuality, and how to express it all healthily, porn would not impact them as it does now I believe, nor would they be acting out on their own half as much as they do. To me it starts with the parent.

We try so hard to protect our kids on this topic, that we end up in the long run pushing them from us I believe. We need to be communicating with them.........not just trying to dictate. You'd have a much more well adjusted, sexually responsible society if you did that in my opinion. What we are seeing now is a result of repression of what is only natural in all human beings. Take that lid off it all and I think you'd see changes, but not before.

You don't know what love is then, love doesn't torture without end.

Why should I respect a person who only cares for what it wants, not what I do? Is that really what love does? It's not to me. Love is not selfish, your Bible even says that, to demand things is the antithesis of that. Respect is a two way street, if I am not respected, what's the point of giving it back?

And you are full of crap on the 2nd, God can ALWAYS choose to not damn anyone.....no one realistically would choose that for themselves......God is the one that makes it possible. So yeah he entirely DOES send us there since no one else can do it but the creator. And no matter if "we do it" or not, it's still completely unloving. Not a God worth worshipping to me at all, who would do such a thing.

I don't believe in a God that uses fear to get what it wants, sorry I just don't. Any being on this earth that would tell you "love me or I will ensure you die and burn" would be seen as a monster and quite rightly. Why is it then that God can do the same thing and it's suddenly ok? Why do we expect more out of ourselves, than we do out of a God that is supposed to be higher than us spiritually? Why do we worship a God that is effectively less loving than we? It makes no sense. If anything we should expect MORE out of a being claiming to be divine.....not less.

except of course when there's not.........that's the most ridiculous aspect of all of this......God KNOWINGLY makes us flawed, yet then gets mad when we act according to those flaws? What? If God didn't want us to be flawed and sin, why did he give us the capability? Further, why then is it OUR fault that we act according to how we were made, when God had the final say on how we were formed, what we could do and could not. How is the creator not responsible?

The whole story plain stinks.

So that justified it? I think not! Love doesn't use terror tactics to get what it wants. Period. If you think it does, you don't know love or God.

Doesn't the Bible say love never fails? If God is love and love doesn't fail, yet it fails to save every single soul willing it to be, how does that NOT make it a failure?

Also if God is supposed to not be a keeper of wrongs.....how does it make sense that if you sin too much you can go to hell or at the least cease to exist? And if God is supposed to be merciful and forgiving even if one rebels against it (Daniel 9:9), how does it have the capacity to NOT forgive at the same time?

Finally about Jesus, ok fine it says all those things about peace, but it does not change the fact that it ALSO talks about bringing a sword in other parts of the Bible. Which is true?

Bottom line to me is simply that the Bible is one of the most contradictory pieces of literature ever written, it constantly speaks this double speak. As such, it is not the least bit credible to be any kind of complete truth in my estimation.

This is something gets me........religious people will always say we cannot understand the mind of God to defend their beliefs. Uhh......they do realize that applies to them too right? If we can't know, how the hell can they? What makes them so special? It's a double standard, if we can't know, they can't either.

First of all that's a lie, Jesus himself even said that he comes not to bring peace but a sword in the Bible, and speaks of dividing families........you are being dishonest. If he was all about peace his words would reflect it and they do not.

That's number one, number two, if God did not intend us to be perfect beings as you say, then what sense does it make to punish us eternally in the way that it does, and wipe out whole civilizations at times in addition to? You're gonna tell me God KNOWINGLY makes us imperfect and flawed, and then gets mad when we act exactly as it wanted us to be able to? Bullcrap. Again, either God made everything and everyone as it intended, or God screwed up, it cannot be both.

Finally, any divine being that would let people burn eternally in hell knowing it could prevent it and wants all to be saved in the place, is not one worthy of any worship at all. Such is a being a monster, and as far from anything loving as one could get. Love does not let someone suffer just for the sake of suffering.

I am saying that it is impossible for a being who created us perfect to make us imperfect UNLESS that's what it intended us to be, it defies logic. To say it's true means God made a mistake and perfect beings are incapable of that. God had to know why he made us the way we did.......otherwise how can he be perfect and all knowing if we can do something it didn't expect or anticipate? It just does not make any sense whatsoever. If God didn't want us to be the way we are it would have made us different, but it didn't. Therefore we must be perfect for our purpose, because if we weren't, it'd mean God made a mistake which again is something perfection cannot do by definition.

God is perfect you say? Then how on earth is it possible that he could create a creation capable of doing something it did not intend for them to be able to do, to the point he regrets ever creating them before the great flood? Would that not be a mistake? Would this not indicate a flaw in his creation if he made them this way? How does that really work?

If you ask me it doesn't.......either God is perfect and so are we for our purpose here, flaws and all, or God screwed up. There is no middleground. Make a choice, is God perfect or isn't he?

His point is simple gun free zones do NOTHING to help prevent shootings, all they do is make it easier for any criminal to come in and open fire at will, cause you know they don't obey any laws. Bans just punish the innocent, never the target they claim it's to stop.

And sure it may just be Starbucks now, but what happens when it spreads? Then what? Do you REALLY want a society where the only ones that have access to weapons are those who intend to do harm by using them vs. protecting themselves and others? I sure as hell don't.

Maybe because they WANT people to think guns are bad? So people like you will keep drinking that koolaid they keep pushing down our throats that they need to be regulated and controlled? Just a thought......