THANK YOU ALZ!!!!!!!!!!!!

I owe you bro...if you ever need an alibi or got any midgets you need smacked around...I am there for you!

You really wanna learn something Chicka?

When it come to "natural" or "Artificial" flavors.......go with artificial....just trust me on this. The food and beverage industry is what I do.....

lemme put it into context....as kids....we all LOVED hotdogs...now that we are older and know what hotdogs are....we don't love em as much.

Hook me up babydoll! (works out nicely since I am pretty much soulless anyway)

My larder may be a bit thin now but, tommorrow, I will hit the farmer's market and stock up on the good stuff made with actual cow poo....not that artificial crap.

Oh man! I would sell my soul to Delilady for that lobster bisque. That stuff is better than sex!

(Actually, I have never tried to make sweet sweet love to lobster bisque but, I am sure it would be better than a couple of my x's.)

Some crusty brown/red(ish) stuff....might be blood or just jelly drippings.


A carton of something that I am honestly afraid to open at this point....can't throw it away cause if terrorists break in I will need a weapon to kill them with.

condoms...trust me

the remains of a seafood stirfry. and a roast for tommorrow.

Dude, I am gonna send you a step by step manual...(colouring books are available if big words make it confusing)..

The pillow goes OVER the head! Press down firmly. Remember to smite the booty with light sharp stinging slaps (don't need bruising to explain if the cops show up)

allow me to demonstrate...



When applied properly, this technique can allieviate most issues....

well, except for when you hit the money shot and she starts griping..."Not in my eye! It stings! It stings!!"

...but, at least she won't be making you do yard work!

in order of importance....

1...Masturbation
2...see #1
3...My small but tight knit family
4...internet porn...(refer to answers 1-2)
5...the love of a good woman....(I am referring to my dog)
6...Mingle....Duh!
7...Albert Einstien......seriously, once he patented the carbonation process for beer and all carbonated beverages in 1958...all of our lives changed for the better. I can prove it. If you prefer your drinks flat..raise your hand...........

see?

I know dude....

I was kidding.

The reality is, when I am boning the living hell out of a woman and her head is buried in a pillow to muffle the screams so she don't freak out the neighbors....raking the lawn is the last thing on her mind.

hehehehe...sorry..I couldn't stop myself on that one.

whatever do you mean Mman????


Its not so much what you have, but what you can do with it.



Never...and I do mean NEVER..in the history of mankind has a man with a big "mower" EVER said that......

Alright Ready...you are a god and I wanna have your baby.....

now that we got that out of the way....

does Vista really suck? or is that just my retard friends messing with me....(this is year three of me having a pc...so I am clueless since everyone else has had them for friggen decades.

my IMPORTANT question...

I have several photo editing programs...
Windows Paint...obviously
Roxio PhotoSuite...on my black berry...
Digimax Master...for my cheap assed Samsung camera...
that free Kodak Easyshare crap....

WHAT IS THE EASYEST WAY: to cut/copy part of/or overlay part of one photo onto another photo?

I am not sure the correct way to even ask the question....all I know for sure...all that between all the fruitless efforts...(copy/paste/size reduction with transparent background carryover)....No matter what I try, it just doesn't look right when I try to make it look like I am naked beside Queen Elisabeth or trying to poke my penis into Hillary during one of her endless campaign snap shots.

help a brother out if you can.

Seriously, any photo tweaking tips you got will be greatly apprecieated. Thanks!

Uhhhh Fear....

Could be worse......imagine what that poor snowflake who is f***ing her is having to put up with. THAT is the guy who should be posting up on this thread!

Yard work for beer and sandwiches????


ppbbbbbbttttt......hardly

now, crazy, monkey style sex..you know standing on your head, massaging my ears with your feet while I have my way with you will get me to call someone to rake your yard. It would be a good idea to have beer and sandwiches anyway....you will need something cold to slap on the friction burn anyway.

I had to bump this thread again just cause I like seeing the headline...

Single Woman Artificially Inseminated..........by Krupa


Hell I might keep this puppy afloat single handedly!

Let's See.......

Young, full of s%*t, desperate for a $10 an hour job....(at least desperate enough to make up the tall tale I just read).....

Send her my way!

By the time she is done with my 10 hour day...she will REALLY have earned that $100.

You will be able to download the video at xnxx.com.....search for "Hardcore" catagory.

Oh yeah, it definitely threw me when I figured out that Krupa is a popular girls name for lots of Hindu chicks.

I have a good friend from Bangalor. Nice fellow. He visits when he delivers to the U.S. (he owns a lear jet dealership) He desperately wanted to marry my sister but, we saved him from getting his but kicked.....you know...the woman showing deference...walking three steps behind the man...that kind of thing. My sister would have beat the hell out of the guy.

Culturally, India may as well be a different planet than where I am from. I repainted aircraft at a flight school in Dallas that recruited trainees from India. I hung out with alot of Hindus. Many of thier ways seemed odd to me, but, I am sure that they thought my ways were just as bizarre.

All in All...I never met a Hindu who ever did me wrong or ever said an unkind word so, they get my respect.

Ohhhh


Let's see.....

I would need time as both Holly and Roberta...I would get naked...stand in front of the mirror...take LOTS of pictures and send them to

E. Krupa

@#!$ Potosi Road
Abilene, Tx.
79*%&

Then I would be Robbidude for a day....so I could legitimately bang the friggen hell out of Roberta without her knowing it....then her looking over at Robbi afterwards going..."What the Hell was THAT?!?!?!?!...What is wrong with you? Damned FREAK!"

Cool! I dropped $100 at Wal-mart for the cheapest digicam (samsung)...still figuring out the features but, it is incredible what it can do. Tonight I am gonna try some stop motion video. Should be frustrating, slow, stupid and a complete waste of time....should be fun!)

by the way...I spit coffee on my keyboard at the "If I had a penis..." comment.

Oh Hey! Here are a couple pix I took last night. (I dig figuring out the features on my cheap @zz camera)

See....I ain't pretty....it's just that the camera takes really good pix.

Bout to jet to work for an hour or two. (slacked off yesterday....so I gotta tie off some loose ends....flu/poopy feelin SUCKS)

Later I am gonna scrounge up some parts to make an armature for my first try at stop/motion film making....I read a good article on armatures and I have loved stop/motion since I was a kid. So, Why not try it? Besides, I am never too old to suck at something new!