Honey.....I feel extra special when you shave your legs too. (Not just riding the short bus with a LaCrosse helmet special either......)

B*#ch......hehehehehe

Well, that is cause you are Canadian honey.

(Like you NEVER dry humped a statue at the zoo infront of 150 third graders)

It is okay if you are tired Seababy.

Just go to sleep and I will be done in a minute.....I will even squeegee you off when I am done. (Cause I am. Gentleman)

. Excellent! Since you didn't specify "hand" I am gonna assume that checking smoothytude with my tongue will not be a problem.

I shave one leg anyway......that way at least it feels like I am sleeping with a woman.

Dan......THAT was funny s*#t!

I was thinking I was gonna have a shot at buying crack or home theatre equipment with a hook like "pssst....."

Never figured it would be an invite to grope a Canadian......I ain't complaining.

Dress to impress.

The guys showing up in flip flops or baggy @ssed pants trying to look gangsta let's me know that they ain't serious.

Eye contact...MAKE IT! From the receptionist to the inerviewer....look em right in the eye.

A trick that works for me.....during an interview....tell them...."I could tell you that I am dependable and hard working but talk is cheap....let me work for you...in two years you will know that I am dependable and hard working"

(That last part only works if you ain't full of s*#t)

Good luck homeboi

Well, tonight I am nursing my idiot dog Chatka. She bailed off for a day and two nights. Showed up this morning looking like Hell!!!!

She scrounged up a rattlesnake to bite her on the face and took a header into a paddle cactus. Miserable would describe her look. Sore. Walking like she is 500 years old. Reminds me of dates I've had.

So, I am using pantyhose to snag out the cactus needles I can find. Fixed her and Black Betty some eggs with hamburger and queso along with a bowl of milk with honey in it. (Betty is extatic). Chatka is barely touching hers but she is doing better....but, I can tell she is ignoring all my advise about "stay home where it is safe".
Oh well, time for another shot of whiskey then continue the hunt for cactus needles. (Yay)

Time to knock back a whiskey n water. Someone show that guy where the b*tchen about politics forum is. He will be thrilled.

I am talking to you silly. I find chicks down in the dumps just need some nakeytude.

Just trying to help.

You know what might perk you up? Sending me some dangerously naked booty pix. (Don't knock it till you try it)



You can't blame a guy for trying........

I was recently given a 51 Trio. E-smokes and cigs are like near beer and beer. Technically it works but not quite the same. (Apparently there are many types of cartridges and I haven't tried them all so there may be better ones available)

Yeah Quiet.....I love when the self-righteous non-smoking blowhards throw their opinions in on a subject that they obviously don't know s#*t about.

Rub one out and orgasm so hard that I scream my own name then fall asleep before I cuddle with myself. ( I am selfish and inconsiderate....I know)

420 blunt.....works nicely.

You are splitting hairs there homeboy.

Good try on the "someone need to be blamed for the fact that life happens" thing.

Just do what I do. Snifter of brandy. Cigar. Sit out under the night sky.......for that time, none of the small crap matters........it is all small crap.

Oh GAWD! For some reason that I can't explain......that sounded Soooooooooo sexy.

I didn't kill my helper with a forklift today when he moseyed in at 3 in the afternoon. (I would be lying if I said that the thought didn't cross my mind)

Wux.....the trick to compliment a guy is this....

Don't do it while standing at the urinal next to him!

Careful what you wish for Cal. Doing paintings for the Museums of Natural History was kind of cool but, ultimately killed it for me. After that gig I swore I would never do pro work again.

My dream job: Talent scout for midget porn