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I have been guilty of this. I do snap out of it. They are totally the opposite. Ex was the wrong match and shouldn't have happened. Where the new one is more like me out going, enjoys life and likes to do things in his spare time. it is not that I compare them more like I kick into autopilot b*tch from hell..at times I do realize that I have certain behaviors and reactions that kick in... a kind of conditioning that has happened from the twenty years of being with him anytime I even suspect someone of treating me the way he did? I tend to attack and walk away |
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Topic:
Single girl problem
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that is a single guy problem..
ok single girl problem I have one of those little stickers on my car that they put on every time ya get an oil change I have the tendency to ignore it and when I do finally look at it and read the recommended mileage for my next oil change? uhhhhm ya I am always a tad bit over 
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Topic:
Old age is lonely
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think this is something that just takes getting used to
especially if you were with someone else for a substantial amount of time you always thought of yourself as a a couple as a we instead of just a me but when you think back...you were you long before this person came into your life you were you the entire time you were together and you are you still |
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great now I am thinking about Cat scans..
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Topic:
CONUNDRUM
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uh huh sooooo fascinating
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at the moment? drinking coffee in my livingroom why you ask?
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Strange day..it's my birthday,..one dear friend got married and another dear friend died this morning..mixed feelings for sure..still a beautiful day..a constant reminder of how life is full of good and bad things..yet life goes on  one beginning, one ending ( depending on your beliefs) and you in the middle somewhere I hope you take the time to celebrate you if not today then in the days to come oh and I know this feeling my brother died on my birthday |
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Topic:
Sex and relationship
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4 easy payments of 99.95 ...
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ya ok lemme just put in my two cent's worth on this one
first of all what kind of women you messaging? someone that could be your daughter's age if you had one? well guess what..not every young woman wants to talk to a man that is your age and in fact, might find you kind of creepy there are sites that do cater specifically to finding a young woman from a foreign country to bring to the states you may have better luck on one of those |
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Topic:
I'm brand new to this ...
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Good Morning
wish you very best on finding what you are searching for may I suggest something? you are too far away from the camera in that pic maybe take one closer up of course you did say you were looking for a friend only so up to you 
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Recent research led by a team at the University College London think they have uncovered just how long (on average) it takes for something to become habitual. They do not think it takes 21 days to form a habit. They believe it takes an average of 66 days to create a habit.
just some snidebit I snagged off google though I suspect for something new to become a habit actually take much longer ask yourself " is what I am doing getting me closer to or further from my goals" mmmm..great many that realize where they would like to be but yet continue to choose to be right where they are |
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my god...just how long you two been talking to each other like that?
you in public for crying out loud been treating each other like crap for so long now you have forgotten how to say anything else |
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Topic:
Do people change or evolve?
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well what in the hell
do people ever read 
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The larger idea about people changing in fundamental ways, has fascinated me for decades. Something that makes it tricky to tell if it has even happened, is that it's often hard to tell the difference between a change of METHOD, and an actual change of MIND. I've found that a lot of the time, the people who have seemed to change the most, have actually changed the least. Like a left wing fanatic who switches and becomes a right wing fanatic, thus revealing that what they actually were all along, was only one thing: someone who feels the need to tell everyone else how to live. I've known druggies and drinkers who one day declared they had an epiphany about it all, and turned into rabid anti-intoxicants fanatics, for example. They didn't actually change at all. They just went from getting a kick out of being drunk or high, to getting a kick out of feeling self-righteous. actually I think I see where you are getting at..addictive personalities I have a cousin did I mention substance abuse runs in the family?  anyways she was pretty heavy into drugs in her youth then drinking in her twenties and thirties pretty sure most of that past in a daze then on her third marriage she decided to quit the booze ( to her credit) however, I have since witnessed her go gung-ho into religion quoted scripture all over facebook do not get me wrong I am not against anyone finding God but it is the energy, the zeal..going overboard more, more, more, more..I see in her that has not changed |
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God bless? Remind me, who was it who turned the water into wine?   not in my thread buster |
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imagine how many theoretical view points I have studied by now from Freud to Jung to Erikson, Piaget, Carl Rogers, Skinner Rational emotive Gestalt CBT Behavioral Solution Focused System Choice/Reality psychoanalytic Adlerian Transactional Analysis not sure if it's a lacking somewhere in my education.. but none specifically deal with this concept of change but who knows..I am taking an addictions class this fall for an elective maybe I will learn something new I am sure you will be looking forward to getting away from the study and practicing .. but you know the study never goes away .. right .. professional development and proving competence is ongoing .. welcome to the world of health  |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Sat 08/05/17 06:47 AM
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uh huh...but yet we all know those couples that are our age
been married forever got married young and they are so in love still it sickens ya to be around em..hahaa they did not know anymore than you and I did when walking down the aisle young and dumb baby and broke they liked each other cause .." he's hot" "she's hot" and " I dig her smile" " his blue eyes make me melt" pretty much it..and they are still digging on each other I would suggest that they made it and are still going strong because they both learned how to do it along the way how to co-exist with another human being how to communicate show affection be supportive they're a plenty of people still love each other in divorce court who didn't learn it... I used to gripe all the time..back when I was married that everytime we went somewhere, parked the car my then husband would be out the car like a rocket and walking across the parking lot fifteen feet in front of me by time I closed my car door man on a mission then there I was walking into the store alone.. so I communicated with him on numerous occasions how nice it would be if he walked beside me maybe talked to me one day I pointed out a nice older couple that were walking side by side engrossed in conversation and holding hands I said " see honey that is what I am talking about" he glanced over at them and said " ya well...bet they haven't been married as long as we have...probably having an affair" |
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Topic:
Going back to ex?
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that is lazy
that all buttons you pushed and she pushed are still there if it did not work out before why would it now that it is settling |
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woowee there are some smart boogerbutts on this site..hahaa ya know I love ya and appreciate the input
I will read and contemplate uh after my coffee kicks in 
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