lol jim

good points too Isaac. my post is also generally speaking, people can also feel different ways.

If a woman specifically stated up front, that she was waiting for marriage to have sex, and told you she was not going to have sex with you, would you still date her?

Week 3 seems a bit too soon. It may not mean she's not interested in you. Do you have the respect and understanding to wait until a woman is ready and comfortable too? Both have to be ready, not just you. A lot of people do not want to have sex just in 3 weeks of barely knowing someone. People usually like to develop good relationships first, and that takes time; more than 3 weeks lol. There's lots of good reasons for that; unless you're just mainly interested in sex.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with telling eachother what you want in bed either, and how to sexually please eachother. People like different things too, and it also has to do with comfort level.

Absolutely not. I don't see anything wrong with casual kissing, maybe, on the first date, but definitely not sex on the first date lol.

And don't rush into sex.

When it is ok to have sex? Depends on your age and personal feelings. If you're eighteen and a virgin, you will want to wait until you are in a committed relationship. If you're thrty-nine, waiting a month or two can be fine. Of course, if you feel strongly against premarital sex, you should wait until you're married. If he loves you, he'll respect whatever decision you make.

but don't be surprised if the man you're dating gets very angry when you kiss him goodnight at your door at the end of your second date rather than invite him in your place for a drink. He has probably been spoiled by other women who slept with him on the first or second date, and now he feels he's being denied this pleasure. But don't worry. Anger indicates interest, and you might be surprised, because he will probably call you again!

But what if you like sex a lot too, and denying yourself is just as hard as denying him? Does that mean you can sleep with him on the first or second date? The answer is still no. You will just have to have a bit of self-restraint and character building here, and trust that if you hold off for a few weeks or months, you won't be sorry. Why risk having him call you easy (and think of you that way) when he's talking to his buddies the next day? Better that he be angry and strategizing ways of seducing you on the next date, than moving onto the next girl. Making him wait will only increase his desire, and create more passion when you finally have sex when ever you're ready. Then at least he's thinking about you; you're thinking about eachother. Your body is not being "used", by just every Tom, Dick, and Harry, like some slut. You're not getting a slutty reputation, where guys are thinking they can just come to you for easy sex, and that's all they will come to you for. Not for any substantial relationship.

I know it can be excruciating to put sex off with someone you're attracted to, but you must think long-term here. If cards are played right with both sexes, you can have sex together every night, in a long-term, committed relationship, which actually has genuine love.

Now you might argue that you don't mind having sex with him on the first or second date, and taking your chances, that it's ok with you if he doesn't call again, because you're both grown ups, and you can take your lumps. Most ladies who say this are lying to themselves. Deep down inside, it's not okay with a woman, if she sleeps with a man and he doesn't call, or she hardly ever hears from him again, etc. Every woman wants the man she just slept with to call her, that is, if she really likes him - and hopefully she likes the man she's sleeping with lol. When you sleep with him on the second date, you don't really know if he's going to be a gentleman or a creep. Don't take risks. Wait until you're sure before having sex.

Let's say that now, hopefully you've held off for a while and are ready to have sex with him. First and foremost, stay emotionally cool, no matter how hot the sex gets. If you sleep with a man too soon, a man can get turned off. A man can also get turned off if you talk too much about it in bed. Don't try to exploit the physical closeness of sex to gain emotional closeness, security, and assurances about the future. Wait a good amount of time before you begin to talk about your needs during sex or after sex. Don't be a drill sergeant, demanding that he do this or that. You have to trust that if you relax and let him explore your body like unchartered territory, you will have fun and be satisfied. Being with you in bed should not be difficult or demanding. Don't bring anything -- red lightbulbs, scented candles, or X-rated videos -- to enhance your sexual experience. If you have to use these things to get him excited, something's wrong. He should be excited about just sleeping with you.

While you're snuggling in bed after great sex, is not the time to say, "So, do you want me to make room in the closet for your clothes?" - lol. Or, "I put a toothbrush in the bathroom for you." Don't bring up your future together, not in bed, or out. Men merely want to lie down next to someone they care about when they are feeling strong emotions. Just try to relax and think about nothing.

Don't cling to him if he has to leave that night or the following morning. Be casual and unmoved about the fact that the date is over. With that attitude, chances are he will be the one hanging on. Don't try to keep him there longer by suggesting brunch or sweet rolls and coffee in bed lol. If you do, he'll probably run to the nearest coffee shop for breakfast instead. Instead, go quietly about your business. Brush your hair, your teeth, do some sit-ups and stretches, brew coffee, whatever. Chances are he'll start massaging your shoulders and suggesting morning sex or a great brunch place.

It's only fair that if you're dating a man for a month or two and don't plan to sleep with him for a while, to let him know. Otherwise you're being a tease. On the other hand, what if you're more into sex than he is? If you don't want to feel insecure, then don't initiate sex. After you're in a committed relationship, when you know he is crazy about you, you can occasionally and playfully make an overture.

Last but not least, when ever you do have sex, always use a condom. Don't cave in when a man says, "Just this once." Remember, you take good care of yourself.

BBEyes

Closeness
Openness
Understanding
Peacemaking
Loyalty
Esteem
Love
Respect

. Faithful
. Honesty (words, actions and transparency)
. Committed
. Forgiving
. Giving

Five languages of love:
. Quality Time (Intimate talking, spending time)
. Physical Touch (Not just sex; do you enjoy hugging and
kissing?)
. Gifts (Self explanatory)
. Affirmations (as in compliments and the like)
. Acts of Service (Serve and/or cater to eachother)


Which of the above five ‘languages of love’ makes you feel ‘the most loved’ or cared
about ??? These ‘languages’ go a long way in a relationship. When people don't get them, they feel ‘empty’ and unappreciated. Their ‘love-tank’ needs to be ‘filled back up again’. Just as a car must run on gas, when the gas tank is empty, the car will stop running. It is natural for people to show love or give love in what ever ‘their’ love language is, and not natural for them to give love in a language which is not their language. You can find out what a person's love language is by seeing how they give love. Here's how it works: If your love language is physical touch, and I show you love in buying you gifts, you will not appreciate it or feel ‘full’, until ‘your’ love language is fulfilled first; as in, I must give you the physical touch first, before I give you the gifts. And vice versa!!! A person must be willing to go ‘out of their comfort zone’ and do what is ‘un-natural’ for them, in this respect in order to make your mate feel really loved and cared for and ‘filled’. This stuff really works!!! When the ‘love-tank’ is ‘empty’, it must be filled again. And over and over again and again and again continuously throughout the relationship. Everybody has a primary and secondary love language. The primary is the one which makes you feel ‘most loved’. Most men's primaries are physical touch hahahaha. My primary is Quality Time and my secondary is Gifts. And one of my favorite gifts is flowers.

mostly all of what ya'll are discussing is way off topic. lol

This seems like a great thread. And a lot of good signs to look for. lol.

I wouldn't say "haunt" though lol. But I get the point of the signs.

Some people are marriage minded at different stages of their lives; and some are not, etc.

Generally, if there is marriage mindedness, and there is no proposal of marriage when dating someone for two years, then it's time to move on. No sense in wasting time either.

Some people also do not have sex, unless they are married.

Dodo:

Good points too

But could be anybody in general. That was just an example.

EXCELLENT, Wasntme !!!!

all terrific points!

Topic: It’s a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out.

Don't waste time on a fantasy relationship. You may have a good rapport with your doctor, lawyer or accountant, and you may find yourself wondering if he is interested in you romantically. How can you know for sure? If he's never asked you out, then he's not interested!

Add your thoughts to this discussion too!


BBEyes

Online Dating and Safety, etc.

Alot of times it can be jerks hiding behind computers lol !

I'��d be careful with free ones too. Paid sites, the men are at least more serious about meeting someone for something long term and meaningful, and a lot of times, with the free ones, you get jerks, who have no job, no car, and no place of their own to live, and are looking for handouts��, and for ladies to just support them. Dweebs. And good-for-nothings. And who are only looking to play around, not for anything long term and meaningful.
. Weed fast. If you're not sure about a guy's first e-mail, read it again the next day and see how he measures up then. More likely than not, he'll be "nexted" on the second read.
. Pictures. Get pictures. If he doesn't get you a pic there's a reason. Always get a picture and ask his age.
. Always do a light date (coffee, drinks, or lunch) for a first time meeting.
. If he sounds weird in his first email, he is weird... "Next!".
. if I can't think of something to reply quickly, he's going to be boring or we'll have nothing in common... "Next!" LOL !!!!
. Don't take any email personally... even if it's good.


BBEyes
{batting eyelashes}
lol

I don't think it's about "hard to get". LOL. First of all, have and do keep up with your own interests in life (lol) - like things you like to do. You're not "clingy". You're an "interesting" person, with varied interests enriching your life, which gives you more to share in a relationship, and aids you in time to just do your own thing. (hard to explain, but I think you get the point). Don't expect one person to be your whole world, or be dependent on them for your happiness solely. I'm sure you know this. Be a complete person within yourself.

A man who doesn't really like you, won't waste his or your time.

Most men fall in love faster than women. They also fall out of love faster. If you see eachother, for example, too much, eventually people might get restless and irritable. You just have a good balance.

A man who really loves or cares for you, won't be put off by you spending your own time to do what ever it is you do.

But if a man who is just with you for fun or sex, then he's likely to get angry and impatient. And don't be fooled if *these* men say the kinds of things that make you believe they really care/love you. It happens all the time. It's called "Standard Operating Procedure" lol Be careful; it may be a ploy to get you into bed on the first or second date.

BBE

Interesting Topic: What makes a man love a woman?

Naaaaa it can't be bad for your health. It's suppose to be actually good for your health in a lot of ways. Work out, release tension, promote happiness and love, etc., the list goes on.

hhhmmmm interesting topic . . . . . . what makes a man love a woman or what makes a man fall in love?

although I may be online... my computer's online .. .I'll be away from the computer .... got some things to do ... will be back later .... and hopefully see a good number of responses hoping this comes together - - - - -catch ya'll laters!

hugs all around the room :-)

Scooter! yeah! I just found the Texas thread, as a matter of fact, and did a post there referring to here about Houston ! cool

AAAAahhhhh !!!! here we go! Here ya'll are !!!

Northwest Houston area great mingle place! I have a thread at this link, and was wondering where all the Houston people are!

http://mingle2.com/topic/407875

I should have posted it here in the Texas forum instead! I see a lot of Houston people on this site!

Just got to that thread/link!

Here is the thread I started there ... people are responding and we're havin' fun lol

Topic: Biker Bar Bourban Social
There is an upscale biker bar at gessner and 249 area for all you Houston people. It's great. I think it would be fun if we all gather, a group of guys and gals, and all have group fun, meeting there together. So we can see and meet all the people we've been talking online with. Just to socialize, laugh together, have a few drinks. We could even wear those stick on name tags with our screen names lol this way we would all know everyone with a name tag is from mingle2, and we could all gather together lol. Group partyyyyyy !!!! lol

They even have a real nice outside patio with tables and chairs. The lighting inside is so cool and pretty, dim cozy and a bit romantic. They have red and blue lights all inside.

The music is great, a good mix of some light rock, and some danceable funk lol

It's called "Revolution (Bourban Social). Some of you Houston people may already know about it. It's a fairly new place and is becoming a hit. Great business there.

We should plan it for a Saturday evening.

It would be fun. And give people chances to meet, etc.

Lots of people are all tatted (tatood) up in there, and some bring their bikes at times. You can also eat there, it's just a great place; menu is good, burgers, appetizers, etc.

So guys bring your Harleys' !

BeautyBrownEyes

Very much agreeing with this

Also ... if you're actually not married... it just can also make it easier to just up and leave. Because there's no real commitment there. Married people think twice at least, and try to work things out, because there commitment and ties.

I love wine too