unsure

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unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 09/15/12 06:04 AM Topic: WTH? this is a free date site for petes sake... This is a free dating site...so of course you are going to have people from EVERY WHERE checking out the site. IF you don't want them to email you, set your mileage? I think people just make it harder then it has to be. Can we all play nice together? LOL I didn't think so

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sun 09/09/12 05:32 AM Topic: Need help with replies from women QUOTE: Ok, I understand how Mingle works. You find someone that you would like to get to know better and then you send them a message to see if they are somewhat interested in you. However, I send all these messages and when I look at my sent folder only (2) have actually read my message. Here I am thinking no one wants to respond to me, but it is just that they have not read the message yet. Why, are these people on Mingle if they do not check their messages? Isn't this the whole point of being on a dating website; to meet new people. I would think a week to read a message is enough time..... Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. I don't know about a lot of people...but I only pop on this site once every few days. Some times it might even be a week or two? You have to remember that not everyone wants to date on this site...they might just be here for friendship. Just keep being friendly and don't give up...friends are better then nothing!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sun 09/09/12 05:26 AM Topic: Obvious instant dislike? If this is happening at work and she makes comments loud enough for you to hear them every time you walk by her...sorry but I could not keep my mouth shut. I am the type of person that would walk up to someone and confront them and find out what their problem is. If I didn't do anything, then they need to cool it or if I did do something then they need to tell me what I did. It seems like you are very uncomfortable around this person and go out of your way to avoid her? I think if you would give her a cold stare a few times...she might not be as tough as she thinks she is? I would just ask her if she had a problem with you and if so what is it? Good Luck

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Fri 09/07/12 03:51 AM Topic: Keep it Up! I think all you can do is teach your kids the right path to take and each child is different. My parents had 5 kids and all 5 of us are totally different...so each child has their own mind!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Fri 09/07/12 03:47 AM Topic: Still Shakeing I am glad everything turned out good for you and you are safe. I have 3 locks on my door and I am a pistol packing mama. I have been going to the shooting range and shooting my new gun..so someone breaks in my house, SHOOT FIRST AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER!!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 08/18/12 06:59 AM Topic: relationships with attachment disorder QUOTE: QUOTE: Attachment Disorder is very real and stems from childhood abuse. It's when a person cannot form normal attachments to people. As far as I know there is no therapy or cure for it. If I remember correctly, a person who has AD does not long for the missing relationship. They are unable to generate those feelings. Thank you, I was about to say this as well. It is a real disorder, many people often develop it as children. Children who come from abusive households or social services often have this disorder. Wait...you are incorrect on this one! My son has an attachment disorder and he was never abused or social services! I think it is honestly passed down because I have a few cousins with it and a few nephews with it.

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 08/18/12 06:45 AM Topic: Fear of Intimacy QUOTE: I havent dated a woman over 40. But if she didnt put out I wouldnt stick around. So you expect a woman to put out on the first date? If not, you wouldn't ask her out again? Here is where we get the double standards...if a woman puts out on the first date, she is a slut. BUT if a man gets it the first date, he is a stud. I am sorry but you my friend sound like a dog!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 08/18/12 06:40 AM Topic: Fear of Intimacy QUOTE: I suppose the opposite could also be true. Women who are so desperate for intimacy that they'll have sex with anyone. Why would you think that women in their 40's are "so desperate?" There are just as many single men out there as there are women...so why do you say women are desperate??? Crazy remark!!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 08/18/12 06:29 AM Topic: I am a single mother and I am proud of it If someone can not accept your child, are they really worth your time? Even if they don't have kids and you didn't have children, you know exactly how they would treat kids...not so good! Being single is not hard, you just have to remember that YOU set the rules. You be straight forward with them and let them know that you have a child and if they don't like it...WALK AWAY!!!! MEN/WOMEN COME AND GO BUT YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE PICKING OUT YOUR NURSING HOME, SO TREAT THEM RIGHT!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Wed 08/15/12 05:50 PM Topic: relationships with attachment disorder QUOTE: QUOTE: QUOTE: Oh and I like being single and playing the field. I just don't like the idea of being alone when I am old. It's like I dream about finding love and being happy all the time. I just don't experience these feelings in outside of fantasies. Honestly, you are MY age. That being said, enjoy these times as my elders always say. We really don't have to get it all right away. I know you didn't say that but the undertone of this post connects with the frustration brewing in our youth. Not everyone is like this but there are still people who think we need/have to have it. Seriously, you gain experience by trying and try again. Don't convince yourself that you have to find the one right now, you are, IMO, making a drastic mistake. In the end, you are only hurting your head. I say live like George Clooney. Sample a few girls. See what you like. Don't like this one, try the next and the next. You like playing the field so it shouldn't be a problem. Try dating a new race even. Now THAT'S a new experience. The reason why you are going to therapy is because you may be afraid to get out there and explore yourself. They don't have to be fantasies anymore, you can make them real since I sense this is what you really want. You shouldn't be so freaked out at trying. I know you said you have a girlfriend but honestly, if you can't directly discuss these things with her and resort to paying someone to talk about it then its time to move on. Brutal truth. The problem being my gf of 2 years is from South Korea and her student visa is about up. So it's coming down to do or die time. She Basically already quit her life and moved away with me. There is no Let's take a break. If you are not IN love with her...let her go and find someone that will truly appreciate her? She knows how you are and can she put up with this forever? This is a tough call.

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Wed 08/15/12 09:40 AM Topic: Subjective Sentimentalism,,, I guess when you have family members passing away and you can not see them every day, then you know why those little things were such big deals. Yes we might complain about them while we are doing it, but when I lost my dad in 04...I was so glad we had so many pictures and so many home tapes of him so I could hear him talk. You are never promised an amount of time on this earth with your family, so why complain over doing things for them? Just be happy that you still have your family to do things for!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Wed 08/15/12 09:29 AM Topic: relationships with attachment disorder My son has an attachment disorder also. Where I am confused, you said that you didn't care about anyone..even your family. When I took my son to counseling they said his attachment disorder was toward me, he didn't want to leave my side. So is there one certain person that you are attached to or are they saying that you are not attached to anyone? I understand the part about not having feelings towards your mate. I look back over my relationships and after we broke up...I never once cried. I do not feel like most people and think OMG I have to have this person back or my world is over. I feel like, THANK GOD THAT IS OVER, NOW I CAN BE A LONE AGAIN. My mom tells me that I am just like my dad, he always felt this way also. Honestly I think all of my dad's family feels this way. I am a loner and to be honest with you..I am not a people person. I honestly love being single and by myself. See you don't like to be alone and you are afraid to have kids. I love being alone and I took the big plunge got married and have 2 kids. I am single now AND I love my kids and spending time with them. I think if you had kids...your outlook might change because they are a part of you? One question...do you love yourself? I guess in order to go to the next step you have to love yourself first. I actually do love myself...I just don't like that many people. I guess my whole thing is maybe I have never been IN love yet??? It is so hard to explain all the emotions you go through on this one. GOOD LUCK AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE ON THIS ONE!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Tue 08/14/12 06:50 PM Topic: Jobs in Australia QUOTE: QUOTE: QUOTE: Your a great bloke Wux, You would fit right in. Are you sure you don't want to come down under. I really don't know how to answer that. I am totally up to here with North America and the unwritten puritanic sexual laws of the land on who can do it with whom. It's actually quite difficult to get into another country unless you have enough for their points-based system. If you're only looking to LIVE there, then it may take quite a few years to gain a suitable Visa. I prefer Australia to England. The whole lifestyle. England seems hectic for me. Don't get me wrong, any country can have it's downsides, but I have to do what's better for my sanity. . I would be nothing but respectful anyway if I moved there. . You are right...it is really hard to get into another country unless you do it on a work visa, but even then with all this crap going on, it would be hard. I know when I was going to move to NZ, I either had to have a lot of money per person moving there or I had to have a co-signer. A co-signer is someone who will take care of you in case you can't find a job and this way you can not sign up for aid. This is why we had plan to get married first but then I woke up and said what am I doing. I did not want to leave the states and he did not want to leave NZ...so we live our lives apart!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Tue 08/14/12 06:41 PM Topic: Jobs in Australia QUOTE: LW...the only connection you have to Australia is your entire whanau have moved here...think about that. Unsure...Australian jobs = Australian $. Last time i looked it was on a par with your own, so N.Z $ doesn't even feature into the equation. The only thing kiwi chicks won't do, is take shite (most of us anyway)...y'all must've dished it out for them to react the way that you said they did. ;-) There was no y'all....I was the only American there with my Kiwi boyfriend. The men loved me and women hated me, what can I say? I was warned they don't like American women taken their men....my guy actually warned me about that. It doesn't matter now any ways...he is a kiwi and I am back in the states living our own lives. Edited by unsure on Tue 08/14/12 06:43 PM

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 08/11/12 10:28 PM Topic: Jobs in Australia QUOTE: Unsure~ It sounds like you had a bad experience with some kiwi ladies. I wouldn't label all kiwi women just because of a few. :-) I guess you are right...sorry!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 08/11/12 07:50 PM Topic: Jobs in Australia I will say one thing, I went to New Zealand a while back and they were in desperate need of nurses. They offer a big bonus sign on and they pay every thing except your food bills, they even send you back to the states twice a year. BUT you have to remember the money exchange is so different. NZ money is about half of ours. So if they say you make 80,000.00 it is like making 42,000.00 in the states. Our money is double there but everything is double in price!!! I will say that New Zealand is a beautiful country but if you are dating one of their guys....the women are total wankers!! LOL had to use that word, sorry!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Mon 08/06/12 08:59 PM Topic: Strong willed children I am sorry but she is 13 years old. YOU tell her what to do and if she does not do it, you put your foot down. Who is older and wiser? YOU are so use your head and tell her how it is. IF she does not want to follow your rules, tell her to leave and go stay with her other parent. I honestly don't get how parents can not make their child mind? YOU JUST DO IT, IF THEY DON'T LIKE IT...TO BAD!! THEY ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO BUT YOU KNOW WHATS BEST!! I have raised 2 boys, 24 and soon to be 18. My 24 year old is gone and making his own life...I have gave him all the tools to be a good citizen and a role model to his children. All you can do is give them the right direction to go and they pick their own way in life...thank goodness my son picked the right way. My youngest son will be a senior and will graduate mid-term and then is off to college. He is a good boy, I have never had a problem with him at all. I would say he is a mama's boy and he has done nothing but help me with my health issues. Some lucky lady will get him and have to go through me to see IF she is good enough for him..haha!!! IF you can not control your 13 year old at this age, what is it going to be like at 16? GET TOUGH AND GET HER ON A PROGRAM AND MAKE HER KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE BOSS...NOT HER!!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Mon 08/06/12 08:46 PM Topic: DATING Honestly, it is up to the woman to say NO. IF all of the guys ask you out want one thing, then you are dating the wrong type of guys. If you actually think about it, women have all the say so about what is going to happen. IF you don't want anything to happen..it won't! I always have an amount of dates I see someone before I even kiss them. I most deff have an amount of time before anything else happens. I control this situation...not the man!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Wed 07/18/12 12:14 PM Topic: Are black women least undisirable ? WTF! Is this true!? I will say one thing, when I was going to college and we had about 6 african american women in our class...they came off with this attitude. When we would all be sitting outside, this one would always say something like, you white bytches can not take my man away from me. Of course I am a mouth and no one else would say anthing except me..I would always say...bring him here and I promise you he will be dating me tomorrow. I just said it because she did this neck thing with the finger...she hated me right off and she was not my favorite person either. All the other girls would just start laughing and that would make her even madder...I would just start smiling and walk away. I would just say stop with the attitude, you don't have to worry about all the white women wanting your men!!!! I have seen so many beautiful black women, they just need to realize that they are beautiful but like anyone...they can be replaced!!!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4402	Sat 07/14/12 01:07 AM Topic: ..Question.. I actually think it is a great thing to do. If one of my neighbors left a note on my door..would I go? NO...I am one of those people that don't like to be bothered by my neighbors. I am a friendly person and I do have some friends here but I have a lot of health issues so I have to be very careful about being around people IF they have something..like colds or the flu. I do hope you have a lot of people show up and I hope you have an awesome time!!!

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