Community > Posts By > gardenforge

 
gardenforge's photo
Fri 04/25/08 09:02 PM
Now that Al Gore has devoted his attention to global warming the internet is falling apart laugh Big Al gives and Big Al takes away. laugh

gardenforge's photo
Thu 04/24/08 09:33 PM
was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting: "13....13....13!!"


The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks.... and looked through to see what was going on.


Someone poked me in the eye with a stick.


Then they all started shouting: "14....14....14!!!".............

gardenforge's photo
Thu 04/24/08 07:10 AM
Geez is Robbie woosing out? If he had any cojones he would go for the world record and jump 1000 .................. a day. laugh

gardenforge's photo
Wed 04/23/08 10:37 PM
On one side, you have a b*tch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, and on the other, a lawyer who is married to a b*tch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a true war hero married to a woman with a huge chest who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a contest here?"

laugh laugh laugh





gardenforge's photo
Wed 04/23/08 12:55 PM

funny thing is that cars kill almost twice as many people as guns do. And oh yeah, poor diet and lack of exercise kills about 5 to 10 times as many people as firearms do (in the Unite States). So when we gonna make fast food illegal, and mandate an exercise program?


I just got this mental picture of Ted Kennedy on a treadmill with a stalk of celery in his hand. laugh

gardenforge's photo
Tue 04/22/08 08:37 AM
Prohibition does not work. It didn't work with booze, it didn't work with drugs and it won't work with guns. Yet, the liberal socialists keep passing "fell good" laws to keep themselves n office while stripping the rights of honest citizens and at the same time protect the rights of criminals. They use lies and subtrifuge to conceal their failure, blow smoke at the general population.

Damn Democrats!:angry:

gardenforge's photo
Sun 04/20/08 10:25 PM
Hillary Clinton

Species: Homo Sapien

Sub Species: Socialiastus Liberalatus Osmossi

Origin: While it is generally believed she was spawned from hell, this is a totally unsubstantiated rumor. It is known that she is a descendant of the Rodham branch of the Democraticus Nobrainus who wandered away at the time of creation. This creature first appeared on the public scene in the turmoil of the 60s and quite possibly fried what gray matter she possessed with psychedelic drugs which could account for her delusional state today.

Habitat: This particular animal has been extremely migratory in its public life. First appeared in a liberal college in the North East U.S. later migrating to the South for an extended stay in Arkansas and then moving North again with a near decade long stay in Washington D. C. before ending up in a very affluent neighborhood in New York, City. She now spends her time migrating between New York City and Washington, D. C. when not flying around the country promising the moon while trying to get her self elected President. She is often seen in the company of the poor and downtrodden but would rather eat a Blister Bug than actually touch one of them. She is most comfortable in the company of other rich females more liberal than her self and is probably the most uncomfortable when she has to be in close proximity to her spouse although no one could blame her for that.

Diet: From the looks of her butt and thighs it can be assumed the animal is well fed although one would assume from the appearance that her diet does not include as many vegetables as it should and probably contains more meat, pasta and potatoes, although she has her clothes carefully tailored to conceal this. The girl could definitely do with more treadmill and fewer éclairs. She may consume alcohol but only in moderation which is a very good thing because she is scary enough sober, there is no way in hell anyone would want to see her drunk. Pour a couple six packs in this chick and she would make the Medusa look like one of the Vestal Virgins.

Mating Call: None documented (see below)

Mating Habits: She has an off spring so it is obvious that she mated once, but it is highly unlikely that she made a habit of it. She is apparently monogamous, a trait not shared by her spouse.

Distress Call: She does not have one, while she causes great anguish and distress among many, there is no documented case of her ever having been in distress herself.

General Information: While very affable and pleasant in public, she is rumored to be meaner than a Grizzly Bear with a hangover and hemorrhoids in private. When cornered she is known to use the Cobra’s Tactics, a vicious venous bite first and ask why later. She is usually seen in front of large crowds leading he applause for herself. She also professes to possess the rare trait of being able to absorb life experiences by osmosis. She claims to have gained much experience from just being in the White House while her husband was the President. This causes one to wonder just what she was experiencing when her husband was getting a BJ from Monica in the Oval Office.

gardenforge's photo
Fri 04/18/08 07:37 PM


Garden;

laugh


Okay - now you have got to do ones for Democrat and Republican.
Oh...and since it came to mind on another thread....LaRouche....


Very funny ! drinker


That was the one for the democrats, I will have to give the Republicans some thought. I thought perhaps some of our liberal brothers and sisters would leap into the breech and do that one. LaRouche now there is a subject I can perhaps sink my wit into.
laugh


Ok this is going to come as a shock to some of you but I did a little research on LaRouche and while I have no qualms about turning loose with both barrels on the liberal socialists in general, I feel it would be unfair to attack LaRouche personally, he is an old man now, he has served his time, whether justly sentenced or not, and is not all that active in politics from what I read. Anyway he is not in the mainstream so I am going to pass on him.

I just finished a month long tile project in my house and it isn't quite dry enough so that I can hook the trailer with my Dune Buggy behing my Gas Guzzling SUV so I can go out to the edge of the badlands and tear up the environment while blazing away recklessly with my assult rifle at harmless rodents so I may put my evil, warped conservative Republican mind to work on Hillary and Obama. laugh laugh laugh

gardenforge's photo
Fri 04/18/08 07:25 PM
I am a Republican, I served in Viet Nam, I never belonged to a Country Club and I am sure that you will find more Republicans willing to lift up the minorities than Democrats because we know that if they get off welfare and get good jobs they will become Republicans too. In contrast the Democrats need to keep the minorities down because they need to promise them tidbits to buy their votes. Remember George Wallace was a Democrat, and so was Lester Maddocks and George, at least, loved cigars. There is a long list of Democrats from the South that were racists so please don't play the race card on the Republicans. I am sure that you will find very few Republicans in the KKK.

I used to like good scotch, until agent orange induced Type II Diabetes took that off my menu. Can't stand cigars but wow a gas guzzling SUV with an NRA sticker in the rear window what is not to love?

You left out our High Priests, Bill O'Rielly and Sean Hannity also our High Priestess, Ann Colter, Remember her latest book "If Democrats had any Brains they would be Republicans"

Oh and by the way I was involved in environmental clean-up when you were still wearing 3 cornered pants laugh

It's great to be a Republican no wonder they want to tax us so muchlaugh laugh laugh

gardenforge's photo
Fri 04/18/08 04:01 AM

Garden;

laugh


Okay - now you have got to do ones for Democrat and Republican.
Oh...and since it came to mind on another thread....LaRouche....


Very funny ! drinker


That was the one for the democrats, I will have to give the Republicans some thought. I thought perhaps some of our liberal brothers and sisters would leap into the breech and do that one. LaRouche now there is a subject I can perhaps sink my wit into.
laugh

gardenforge's photo
Thu 04/17/08 08:33 AM
Species: Democraticus Nobrainus

Origin: When God was creating man, he stopped the assembly line for a lunch break. There were fully assembled bodies but their brains were not installed. While God was eating lunch, some of these bodies wandered away without their brains. Being fully functional bodies with the exception of brains and thus unable to think for them selves, they were able to reproduce. These are known today as Liberals.

Habitat: This attractive extremely social animal can be found anywhere, but largest populations are in large urban areas and college campuses but because of the need for constant reinforcement from its peers it tends to avoid rural area because of a lack of its own kind. This species tends to live in high rise nests but also builds individual nests in large clusters called ‘burbs. Nest’s usually decorated in “shabby chic” style to show solidarity with the actual poor but usually have a “beemer” parked in the driveway. Will congregate in large flocks at any location where the government is rumored to be giving something away free.

Diet: Extremely fond of vegetables, ethnic food and cooked insects such as Escargot. Additionally, they have an affinity for the fermented grape juice, the older the better especially if it has a vintage date they can brag about. They can’t get enough of imported junk, Starbucks Coffee or anything that comes from France.

Distress Call: Bushlied, Bushlied Bushlied. This call not only denotes the distress of the species, it also attract other liberals in the area to rally around the distressed animal to defend it from logic.

Mating Call: Hi, I like Hillary. Variations, I like Obamma, I hate Bush.

Mating Habits: Once this species has whipped itself into a frenzy by chanting the mating call it will mate with anything including members of the same sex, barnyard animals and a woodpile if there happens to be a snake in it. Also fond of trying to screw the rich but this is not a mating habit, it is a political mantra. Most politicians of this species spend most of their time “spanking their monkey” rather than trying to do something good for the country.

General Info: This species could almost be tolerated if it were not for the fact that all of species suffers from a medical malady known as “Selective Amnesia” which allows them to conveniently forget any fact that does not support their argument. There is rumored to have been an avian strain of this species but it had two left wings and thus could only fly in circles. Being unable to migrate to a warmer climate it perished in the last ice age.

gardenforge's photo
Thu 04/17/08 08:20 AM
You're right Linddy any facts that don't support the liberal socialist argument are dismissed as false and with their powers of selective amnesia they can conveniently forget anything that does not support their case. laugh laugh laugh

gardenforge's photo
Thu 04/17/08 01:50 AM
You keep saying the figures are deceiving please explain you are ranting on about tax rates these figures are not tax rates they are actual dollars paid. The upper 50% of the income earners in this country pay 97% of the total income tax, the lower 50% pay 3 percent. It don't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a tax break is going to have a greater benefit to the upper 50% than to the lower 50%. 10% of a million dollars is a lot of money, 100% of nothing is still nothing.

gardenforge's photo
Thu 04/17/08 01:38 AM
Ron Paul does not have a chance in hell of being elected. Voting for him makes about as much sense as rearranging the furniture on the Titanic. McCain is a conservative liberal, Hillary is a liberal conservative and Obama is just plain scary.

gardenforge's photo
Wed 04/16/08 08:31 PM
I got the figure from ABC News and they are correct they are not deceiving. The liberal socialists keep harping that tax cuts benefit the rich of course any tax cut is going to benefit those who pay taxes. If you pay no taxes in the first place a tax cut won't help you. Instead of cursing the rich, the liberal socialists should be thankful for them, without their tax money there would be NO social programs to benefit the less fortunate.

gardenforge's photo
Wed 04/16/08 09:11 AM
Ah yes a new conspiracy theory, about time we haven't had one in a long time. Obviously some of you forgot to change the tinfoil lining in your hats and the mind control rays are starting to get through laugh laugh laugh laugh

gardenforge's photo
Sun 04/13/08 04:53 PM
Why must I continually point out to the liberal socialists that the richest 1% of this country pays a total of 37% of the total income tax, the riches 5% of this country pay a total of 52% of the total income tax, the lower 50% of the tax payers in this country pay a total of 3% of the total income tax. If you pay no taxes to begin with you can't get a tax reduction.

As for service jobs, I believe mechanics, plumbers and electricians etc are considered service jobs. Next time you need a plumber by the time he is done you will wish he was getting minimum wage laugh laugh laugh

The economy is a bit shaky right now if you want to put it in the toilet raise taxes.

Further, what makes anyone think that any company pays taxes, they do sent a check to the IRS, but the cost of those taxes are passed through to the consummer. Any tax increase ultimately comes out of your pocket twice, once when they tax you and the second time when you pay the taxes that business passes through to the consummer. Even if your IQ is only equal to golf par you should be able to figure that one out. laugh laugh

gardenforge's photo
Sun 04/13/08 01:49 PM
Here we go again SSDD get a life MM.

laugh

gardenforge's photo
Sat 04/12/08 11:47 AM
I notice Baldwin is still here too.

gardenforge's photo
Thu 04/10/08 11:59 AM
"I look up to Thomas Jefferson. " Jefferson was for a small central government and limiting the power of government I believe that would make him a conservative if the definition of conservative is correct. Damn ya all stole Jefferson from us next thing you know you will be trying to take Ronnie Reagan and call him your own too laugh laugh

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