I posted this in the Sex & Dating forum, but Im thinking it will bee seen more here....

Okay I know Im going to ruffle some feathers and raise some eyebrows with this one, but this forum is the only neutral ground I have in my life.

90% of my friends are lesbians. I think I know 2 completely straight females. I have been single for 5 years and without any personal contact of any kind for 6+ months.

One of my friends (female) is showing MAJOR interest in me. This isnt completely new to me, but every time I have "entertained" a female it has been as a "favor." Im actually really interested in this one, except that shes a complete player.

I guess I have a lot of different Hmmmm's about this.

1. Am I really on the verge of giving up on men?
2. Am I really just thrilled that someone is showing me more attention than anyone has in 5 years?
3. I can totally see this working for me and having to come out to my parents. My friends already know.

I know Im opening up for pig requests, religious standpoints, and hopefully some genuine input of any kind.

I think the answer to all 3 is "maybe"...just follow your heart and worry about the rest later....
good luck

this is easy. It's not about "giving up on men". Either you are falling in love with her or not. Only you can know whether it is that or you are just using her to feel loved at the moment.

P.S. If she's a player you probably don't want to go there no matter what your reasons would be.

I'd go with #2 but the fact that you've given favors for friends might lead me to believe you might be bi? Anyway,don't do anything with this chick regardless - you said she's a player and I don't think anyone has time for that crap.

Good luck

I try not to judge people. The only thing I could say here is that if you think she is a player now what makes you think that being with you would change that trait in her.

As far as the other stuff goes, maybe you are bisexual and this is just want you need at this point in your life. Your parents should be happy as long as you are happy. Again jmo. Good luck.

I myself have gone longer than you have without "personal contact" and the idea of turning to a woman does not appeal to me. I think that if you are contemplating this idea at all, it is not because you are giving up on men or simply because someone is giving you attention--it is more than likely that you have always been receptive to the idea. I agree with Symbelmyme--follow your heart.

Its not like Im having this big "am I gay" issue. Im completely content with slabbing the Bi label on myself. But on the same level, your at a party and a guy your friends with is flirting, you all go out to a club in a group and hes flirting. You flirt you play, you like him but you keep the distance because your friends.

Then he approaches you one on one, very persistantly. It changes the dynamic. Yes there is the player factor, and Im almost over dramatizing that. Shes pretty selctive about her choices. And if she was really that much of a player she wouldnt have wasted months taking me out and spending time with me.

Its not even so much about HER, its about coming to terms with the idea that maybe Im not just "party bi" I may actually be interested in females. OMG. ..HI strangers wanna play truth or dare. lol.

Follow your heart, it can take you to wonderful places

Don't do anything you arnt comfortable with.

Im totally comfortable with it, thats part of the problem. If I were questioning it It wouldnt be so difficult. My heart is a funny thing to follow sometimes.

I think its the number 2

If I gave a flying flip about the attention, it might be #2. Honestly its last on the list. I think she has just raised a question that has been there all along and hasnt been addressed.

I work full time, taking 3 classes, raising a teenager and a 6 yr old alone, and Im on a skate team that consumes a minumum of 20 hrs a week, if not more. I dont have time for anything, the attention is nice but not necessary.

I agree with everyone who said follow your heart.

And I hope things work out well for you.

I have said it before on the forum but here goes for you. My sister is gay and married to someone. I have spent some time with her and her friends. I have also heard stories of lesbians at the Doris Day LPGA classic in Palm Springs which bear out what I will tell you.

This is not all lesbians at all but it is the ones I have met. They are exactly like your friend. Very promiscuous to the point of calling themselves "sluts" playfully. Very open with their own sexual desires. You likely know this as you have so many friends who are gay.

I don't know if this woman is falling for you emotionally or if it is just physical.

Would you be willing to share her with other women? I can almost guarantee it would be a requirement. If you can do that have a blast and enjoy yourself. There is also heartache but its worth the risk. Lesbians can be very loving emotionally and very supporting. It is just like other couples and as for the social stigma, forget about it. Your happiness is way more important.

i agree with whoever said follow your heart...in this day and age who cares about your sexual preference as long as your happy...if you think she can make you happy then go for it..

just do it!!!

I already know Id be sharing. But thats part of the appeal with her, shes very open very honest about it. it really reminds me of like the news worthy mormon families. We all know eachother, we all know whats going on. She treats us all the same, never disrespectful, we just have different time slots. And they dont all get sex, really there are only a few that get all the benefits.

Yup that openness which is great.

I couldn't take the sharing myself but I the communication is something everyone needs. I'd talk to her about things or if you just want to have fun go there.

Are you afraid of what others think, your heart being broke, or being used? Is talking to her too far out of reach right now as I think that is the thing to do. G/L!

I guess Im still very new to the "community" Having all of these friends in my life, most are very fem/tomboy couples. I wouldnt go so far as to call any of them butch. I see these females that I love, dressed like males, taking the role of a male...to an extent. Its amazing to see them soften and even cry.