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Topic: Need some advice please
no photo
Mon 11/24/08 12:51 PM

Oh poop, I didn't finish


She isn't the type to be nasty to anyone, but she is just at wit's end as what to do about the ex. I am concerned for her and her happiness


I don't mean to sound rude or uncaring, but how much unhappiness is she willing to live with and for how long? Seems her unhappiness is a direct result of what this man is/isn't doing! Who is he putting first?

bad_girl's photo
Mon 11/24/08 12:53 PM
Honey, we can't bury anymore bodies in the back yards


noway And it isn't a "booty call" or at least I am hoping it isn't that. My friend would be devastated if it was:cry:


Okay folks, I know this has been posted before, but I can’t remember what all has been said and I am too lazy to find the old threads, so here goes:


A dear friend of mine is in a relationship and the man’s ex won’t leave them alone. She calls, texts, emails him and every time she does, the man is at her beckon call. I live close enough to where I can go over to my friend’s house for an ear or a shoulder, but I am at a loss as to what to tell her she should do. I have told her an ex is an ex for a reason, but all that does is make her cry as the man doesn’t see it the same way as her and I do.

So let me hear from you guys what she should do and how she should handle this situation. Thanks I know I can count on you all for some good advice.

sounds like a booty call, friend with benefit thing noway yeah I said itlaugh

tell her to bring her down here for some bayou water skiing, known hereabouts as "Trollin for gator" bigsmile laugh

BG knows how hard a time I had getting rid of one of my ex's, she helped me dig the holesmokin she's buried right in my backyard noway laugh

but where? and which "yard" ? we went eight feet instead of six, stacked rocks on her then threw the dirt in , cause of the low sea level and swamp thing. I know, that's cruel you say, but you had to be there, words just can't describe the madness. Since then, I've quit drinking, unless I want to get drunk, I've quit smoking, unless I want a smoke. I don't Honky Tonk no more, less I wanna go out Honky Tonking.

bad_girl's photo
Mon 11/24/08 12:55 PM
Cathy, I know what you are saying, but she loves this man so much. I don't know how much more she can tolerate and I hate to see her hurt like she does and I agree about who he is putting first, I am just looking for some advice to give her.

flowers flowers


Oh poop, I didn't finish


She isn't the type to be nasty to anyone, but she is just at wit's end as what to do about the ex. I am concerned for her and her happiness


I don't mean to sound rude or uncaring, but how much unhappiness is she willing to live with and for how long? Seems her unhappiness is a direct result of what this man is/isn't doing! Who is he putting first?

Ruth34611's photo
Mon 11/24/08 12:59 PM
Unfortunately she only has two choices. Put up with it or leave. If she has already voiced her concerns to him and he won't budge, then what else is there to do? Nothing worse than feeling second to the ex. :cry:

bad_girl's photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:01 PM
I know Ruth and I think she knows it, I am just not sure whether she can do it

Unfortunately she only has two choices. Put up with it or leave. If she has already voiced her concerns to him and he won't budge, then what else is there to do? Nothing worse than feeling second to the ex. :cry:

no photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:03 PM

Cathy, I know what you are saying, but she loves this man so much. I don't know how much more she can tolerate and I hate to see her hurt like she does and I agree about who he is putting first, I am just looking for some advice to give her.

flowers flowers


Oh poop, I didn't finish




She isn't the type to be nasty to anyone, but she is just at wit's end as what to do about the ex. I am concerned for her and her happiness


I don't mean to sound rude or uncaring, but how much unhappiness is she willing to live with and for how long? Seems her unhappiness is a direct result of what this man is/isn't doing! Who is he putting first?



If she loves him so much that she won't or can't bring herself to take a stand with him and risk losing him or leaving him then most likely any advice given to her, she will ignore. You've given her support, you're there for her, you've tried all you can do to help her, but at some point, she'll have to help herself too! What advice could anyone possibly give that would help her make this stop if she can't bring herself to do it. I feel for her and the situation, but like Gypsy said, if it doesn't stop, eventually it will cause the relationship to end anyway.

bad_girl's photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:22 PM
I know, but I was kind of hoping to get a different twist on the whole situation, maybe something she might be missing, thanks


If she loves him so much that she won't or can't bring herself to take a stand with him and risk losing him or leaving him then most likely any advice given to her, she will ignore. You've given her support, you're there for her, you've tried all you can do to help her, but at some point, she'll have to help herself too! What advice could anyone possibly give that would help her make this stop if she can't bring herself to do it. I feel for her and the situation, but like Gypsy said, if it doesn't stop, eventually it will cause the relationship to end anyway.

no photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:23 PM

I know, but I was kind of hoping to get a different twist on the whole situation, maybe something she might be missing, thanks


If she loves him so much that she won't or can't bring herself to take a stand with him and risk losing him or leaving him then most likely any advice given to her, she will ignore. You've given her support, you're there for her, you've tried all you can do to help her, but at some point, she'll have to help herself too! What advice could anyone possibly give that would help her make this stop if she can't bring herself to do it. I feel for her and the situation, but like Gypsy said, if it doesn't stop, eventually it will cause the relationship to end anyway.



awwww g/f, if there was something missing YOU would have found it for her by now w/o asking us! flowerforyou :heart:

bad_girl's photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:31 PM
Thanks for you vote of confidenceflowers



awwww g/f, if there was something missing YOU would have found it for her by now w/o asking us! flowerforyou :heart:

SharpShooter10's photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:34 PM

Unfortunately she only has two choices. Put up with it or leave. If she has already voiced her concerns to him and he won't budge, then what else is there to do? Nothing worse than feeling second to the ex. :cry:
man, I went through that same thing with all 14 of my former wives laugh bigsmile drinker huh

no photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:36 PM


Unfortunately she only has two choices. Put up with it or leave. If she has already voiced her concerns to him and he won't budge, then what else is there to do? Nothing worse than feeling second to the ex. :cry:
man, I went through that same thing with all 14 of my former wives laugh bigsmile drinker huh


laugh laugh

oh hush Tom, you just came in here to see if she was asking for advice on what to get YOU for Christmas!!

bad_girl's photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:38 PM
rofl rofl oops Busted Tom



Unfortunately she only has two choices. Put up with it or leave. If she has already voiced her concerns to him and he won't budge, then what else is there to do? Nothing worse than feeling second to the ex. :cry:
man, I went through that same thing with all 14 of my former wives laugh bigsmile drinker huh


laugh laugh

oh hush Tom, you just came in here to see if she was asking for advice on what to get YOU for Christmas!!

SharpShooter10's photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:39 PM



Unfortunately she only has two choices. Put up with it or leave. If she has already voiced her concerns to him and he won't budge, then what else is there to do? Nothing worse than feeling second to the ex. :cry:
man, I went through that same thing with all 14 of my former wives laugh bigsmile drinker huh


laugh laugh

oh hush Tom, you just came in here to see if she was asking for advice on what to get YOU for Christmas!!
laugh I'm just thread hoppin and being mischieviouspitchfork

'cause, I aint got nothing better to do right now,bigsmile laugh drinker

SharpShooter10's photo
Mon 11/24/08 01:44 PM

rofl rofl oops Busted Tom



Unfortunately she only has two choices. Put up with it or leave. If she has already voiced her concerns to him and he won't budge, then what else is there to do? Nothing worse than feeling second to the ex. :cry:
man, I went through that same thing with all 14 of my former wives laugh bigsmile drinker huh


laugh laugh

oh hush Tom, you just came in here to see if she was asking for advice on what to get YOU for Christmas!!

We could "skydive" from an high altitude hot air balloon think

Tazz42's photo
Tue 11/25/08 11:21 AM
To all the women/men out there that this has happened to:
No one is EVER second best!
The person you are with, is your future....your ex is your past.
If the person your with won't stop the hurting that an ex is bringing on, then they didn't deserve you in the first place.
Quit being co-dependant!
Quit letting that person run you down!

If the person you are with respects your feelings and wishes, then they would have cut all ties with thier ex!

Sounds like the ex needs some serious counseling!!! Or maybe the current B/F needs some counseling as well!!!!

lilith401's photo
Tue 11/25/08 11:24 AM
I'm sorry your friend loves this man.

This man still has feelings for his ex.

I can't say if they are romantic or sexual, but they are deep and consist of deep caring and friendship at the very least. Either your friend gets over it and accepts it, or she gets out. It's not going to change.

I wish I had better news, but I'd bet money on my position here.

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