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Topic: So how do I tell him...
newarkjw's photo
Sun 03/21/10 02:17 PM

So I met this really nice guy on POF. I went on two dates but no sparks. How do I tell him I am not really in to him without hurting him. He has made it clear he really likes me and that has made it harder for me to tell him. Normally I would avoid him so he takes a hint but he was a really nice guy who deserves better then that. It is just not always easy to do what's right. Any suggestions?




I wouldn't think that would be too difficult after 2 dates. Just saying.......smokin

thewaterbearer's photo
Sun 03/21/10 02:32 PM
I have run into the same thing after two weeks he already wants to be my boyfriend and says he needs me a little to clingy just say good luck in your search

Gossipmpm's photo
Sun 03/21/10 02:42 PM
I know. I had that too

ya gotta be straightfoward- honest- real and easy

if his feelings are hurt- which almost always happens then he has to deal with his feelings

as long as your not rude or hurtful it will be ok

I hate when they fall like a pile of logs!!!!

Good luck:heart:

peppermint10's photo
Mon 03/22/10 12:37 PM
Whatever you do, be honest with him. Don't leave him wondering what he did wrong or what he could have done differently. If he has feelings for you it will hurt no matter what you say.

AGoodGuy1026's photo
Mon 03/22/10 12:59 PM
Edited by AGoodGuy1026 on Mon 03/22/10 01:00 PM

Exactly that....


"You are a really lovely man....however, you are not 'it' for me...thankyou for the wonderful opportunity to meet you and learn of you....goodbye."


Yep! You hurt him less by telling him the truth. You are not responsible for his feelings, he is responsible for his feelings.

$.02 drinker

Quietman_2009's photo
Mon 03/22/10 01:00 PM
oh great

next thing he'll be starting nice guy threads

Jtevans's photo
Mon 03/22/10 01:08 PM

So I met this really nice guy on POF. I went on two dates but no sparks. How do I tell him I am not really in to him without hurting him. He has made it clear he really likes me and that has made it harder for me to tell him. Normally I would avoid him so he takes a hint but he was a really nice guy who deserves better then that. It is just not always easy to do what's right. Any suggestions?





just do what women do to me.have a cop wait outside his door with a restraining order....indifferent

no photo
Mon 03/22/10 01:52 PM
Just tell him you've been sleeping with his brother or bestfriend. If he doesn't have a brother or a bestfriend, tell him you think you might be gay, and have been sleeping with his sister.

Duey31's photo
Mon 03/22/10 02:30 PM

Exactly that....


"You are a really lovely man....however, you are not 'it' for me...thankyou for the wonderful opportunity to meet you and learn of you....goodbye."


This can be easier said than done sometimes, but it is the best approach.

Duey31's photo
Mon 03/22/10 02:31 PM
Oh yeah...take Mace just in Case, lol!

shoesmonkey's photo
Mon 03/22/10 05:07 PM

So I met this really nice guy on POF. I went on two dates but no sparks. How do I tell him I am not really in to him without hurting him. He has made it clear he really likes me and that has made it harder for me to tell him. Normally I would avoid him so he takes a hint but he was a really nice guy who deserves better then that. It is just not always easy to do what's right. Any suggestions?


You only went on two dates. You don't even know him. Give it some time. If you want sparks, stick a fork into an outlet.

CatsLoveMe's photo
Wed 03/24/10 10:37 PM


So I met this really nice guy on POF. I went on two dates but no sparks. How do I tell him I am not really in to him without hurting him. He has made it clear he really likes me and that has made it harder for me to tell him. Normally I would avoid him so he takes a hint but he was a really nice guy who deserves better then that. It is just not always easy to do what's right. Any suggestions?


You only went on two dates. You don't even know him. Give it some time. If you want sparks, stick a fork into an outlet.


Good answer. More effort is needed. You can't just rub two sticks together and give up so soon because you're not getting fire right away. Give it a chance and try a little harder. Don't be so passive or coy, make a move. What have you got to lose?

74Drew's photo
Thu 03/25/10 12:17 AM
just tell him that you're not feeling a connections and that it wouldn't be fair to him to string him along when you are not into him.

depending on his maturity level, he'll either want to know why or just accept it and move one.



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74Drew's photo
Thu 03/25/10 12:18 AM
or, as i've been recently finding to be the accepted convention, just ignore him until he gets the hint.



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