Topic: Struggles within.
AZKait's photo
Mon 03/29/10 08:11 PM
Just a write, nothing poetic...just downright blunt.

Struggles with being alone, loneliness, loss? A feeling something is missing from your life and you can’t put your finger on it. Which brings on frustration the more you think about it, trying to determine what that missing thing is. I had been convinced, it was a person or soulmate missing in my life. My ex-spouse was not that person after all. Acceptance was a great relief to that understanding. Then the great void came seeping in, gradually, insidiously. My focus turned to seeking out that one person who would fill that gap in my heart and soul…then to seeking out any positive/amazing people to just be in my life and exist as a friend…then to just…nothing at all. I am not a creature that thrives off having numerous, superficial friends. My loyalties are deep. I cannot spread myself too thin since I give all of myself to those important relationships. Nothing about me is superficial. I cannot stand superficial people myself. I can make acquaintances, but I am by no means able to keep up the buzzing bee from flower to flower lifestyle. It’s too exhausting. Perhaps it is not a person per se missing from my life. Perhaps it is some element within, something which may be broken. Disappointment. How can I understand all these feelings I am experiencing, but not know where the heck they are coming from? I really know nothing, after all feelings are purged, in the end. I am still quite lost, and alone.

no photo
Mon 03/29/10 08:17 PM
I like this...alot of what you mentioned is exactly what im going through right now, this was a an interesting read! :0)

johncarl's photo
Mon 03/29/10 08:28 PM
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