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| Topic: Need advice | |
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I wish you the best of luck. You seem to have already decided. I've just been around the block. This is raising all kinds of red flags for me. If some guy did this to me...I would have lost all respect for him. I don't condone cheating and think it's a cowardly act. I don't respect players either. I don't care what history we had together....that would be it for me. JMO If you are going through with it....I would tell her she needs to end it completely with the boyfriend now |
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Well I dated a girl for 3 years. 2 and a half of that was long distance. We both graduated college and I decided to do literacy teaching for a year, so i moved away and we broke off mutually, both sad. a year later, im moving back, she has a boyfriend. we hung out one night when i visited home and she said she still felt something...i told her i was going to win her back. , and i visited again 2 weeks ago and we made out on her bed and masturbated next to one another. i move back home in 3 weeks. she told me shes very much into me and still loves me. she told her bf she needed to take a break. just today we were talking and she told me that even if i hadnt come into the picture again, she woulda broke off with him eventually bc shes very unhappy with him, they fight a lot and hes a jerk, sex is boring...ect a few hours later she tells me that if i didnt come into the picture she wouldnt have broke off with him and its bc of me...but thats not a bad thing.... and that shes confused. but she promised me she is going to completely break it off with him by the time i come home for good in 3 weeks. so im totally confused and i dont want to get played, although i do trust her more than neone i'd let her be if i was you because right now you're "the other guy" and that's not good.i don't see any good coming out of this if you move forward with it but that's just my opinion..... |
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Been there, done that. Can't decide who they want so they do stuff like that. Be careful whatever you do.
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Edited by
wiley
on
Tue 07/06/10 03:37 AM
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I find myself in a similar situation recently minus the sex part. I made a point to not get physical as long as I even have an inkling she might still be with her bf. She approached me and told me she was breaking up with him. It's been almost a month now and she's apparently still with them. Tempted to just break things off entirely now. I know I deserve better. Just don't understand the whole "player" mentality. I'm pretty much an all or nothing kind of guy. If I commit to someone I expect the same in return. Anything else is pointless.
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Edited by
wiley
on
Tue 07/06/10 03:47 AM
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I find myself in a similar situation recently minus the sex part. I made a point to not get physical as long as I even have an inkling she might still be with her bf. She approached me and told me she was breaking up with him. It's been almost a month now and she's apparently still with them. Tempted to just break things off entirely now. I know I deserve better. Indeed you do deserve better. I dont know what the deal is needing time to break up with someone. Like I said, a text, a phone call...If its over, its over. Stuff like,'you cant break up on the phone', or , 'its not the right time' is absurd. The break up is one thing, you can discuss the whys in person if you really think that has honor. But there is no excuse to be interested in someone while you remain with another. That 'another' deserves better too. Agreed. Don't understand women who claim they want someone open & honest and still "play the field" behind your back. As if you won't find out.  If I commit to someone I expect the same in return. Anything else is pointless. exactly Sometimes I think I must have "rebound guy" tattooed on my forehead or something. Seems like the only women who are attracted to me are already in relationships. Not sure why that is. |
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I never understood people that can juggle boyfriends/girlfriends. One is enough for me to deal with....not about to throw in more into the mix
 This is nothing more than a game that some people play. I've been the rebound myself....and it's not a fun feeling. Either you are committed or not. If not, then end it before starting anything with someone else. |
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one person is definitely enough for a relationship, in theory. however, sometimes it is not enough. and there are no games involved. it's just that whatever you need for yourself to be happy, that certain one person cannot give you. and what are you to do? either look for another person who can give you everything you need, which is rare, or end up having a few ppl giving you whatever they can, while combined, they give you what you ultimately need
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one person is definitely enough for a relationship, in theory. however, sometimes it is not enough. and there are no games involved. it's just that whatever you need for yourself to be happy, that certain one person cannot give you. and what are you to do? either look for another person who can give you everything you need, which is rare, or end up having a few ppl giving you whatever they can, while combined, they give you what you ultimately need Which is selfish, and unfair to everyone involved. Unless its specified up front that they are in a committed relationship with someone already and just looking for a friend and nothing more. That I would have no problem with. Saying you're thinking about breaking up with someone and then not following through while hiding you're hanging out with someone else (to both parties involved) is not cool at all. |
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There is nothing wrong with dating around or playing the field, as long as people are honest. But when someone does it while in a committed relationship, then that is playing. It's hurtful to the one being played.
If someone is unhappy, then end it. Being wishy washy about whether they are unsure of whether they want to end it or not isn't fair to the other person |
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as long as people are honest. Seems lately a lot of people have a huge problem with that one. |
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as long as people are honest. Seems lately a lot of people have a huge problem with that one. yep. Sad IMO Sometimes it's best to rip the band aid off. Pulling it slowly will hurt longer and harder |
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