Topic: Why can't fat guys get the girl
venusenvy's photo
Sun 11/14/10 07:23 AM
Wow just wow...In the first place sour grapes is sooooo unattractive! In the second place, are you prepared to be with a "fat women" as you describe yourself? And thirdly, why dont you work on getting in shape, changing your life, rather than ask someone to take on all the health problems that go with being overweight? Goodness! we all have things we need to work on for ourselves...what are you working on? ohwell

fireflysgirl's photo
Sun 11/14/10 07:53 AM

Humor,confidence,and attitude the the big three. I have another question for both men and women. Let say your at a club in come a group of male and female models looking for a good time and them a group of overwieght people both male and female looking for love who would you look at? be honest. one more thing humor,confidence,and attitude sounds great but how can someone show you those attributes if no one would give you a chance to show?


honey, first date with my ex hubby was at the local strip club! he went home and made mad love to me, not a stripper! Look's are only skin deep which is only as far as a shallow attitude can see.

fireflysgirl's photo
Sun 11/14/10 07:59 AM
Edited by fireflysgirl on Sun 11/14/10 07:59 AM
to clarify, we had been seeing each other for a few weeks before we went on our first date! I know what you were thinking-->pitchfork LOL

no photo
Mon 11/15/10 01:44 AM
Edited by bl28 on Mon 11/15/10 01:47 AM

Wow just wow...In the first place sour grapes is sooooo unattractive! In the second place, are you prepared to be with a "fat women" as you describe yourself? And thirdly, why dont you work on getting in shape, changing your life, rather than ask someone to take on all the health problems that go with being overweight? Goodness! we all have things we need to work on for ourselves...what are you working on? ohwell






this one makes a good point about sour grapes,
and about changing yourself it's so simple why didn't i think of that.

talldub's photo
Mon 11/15/10 02:26 AM
As a formerly very fat guy myself, I realised something very simple. It's NOT that fat guys can't get the girl (the proof is all around) it's that they can't get the girl that they want. So you end up feeling like you're settling. And a good sense of humour and confidence go a hell of a long way too!

kissablekiss's photo
Mon 11/15/10 02:39 AM
Edited by kissablekiss on Mon 11/15/10 02:40 AM
Everybody cant be slim...
But you can keep yourself Fit
Loads of girl like the teddybear type of guys ...
If you dont love or can accepted the type of person you are ..
How are you gonna love somebody else ?
They got this saying ;
When the fox cant get the Grapes he called it Sour ..
What type of girls are you really looking for ?
I never understand this
"Loving someone so wrong for you in so many ways ,while the ones who really love us we treat like dirt "
Looks does matter
Uhmm maybe to some
But it fades after a while

Himself1's photo
Fri 11/19/10 07:21 PM
Interesting thread.

First off, I'll look at the models, no doubt. Life is not a faerytale where justice prevails and good triumphs, get over it.

Secondly, I like your style bl, you actually seems determined, doesn't stick your nose out too much, but grabs the important. Here's my interpretation and addons (and probably I'll be crucified for itoops):

Humor is important (can not be overstated enough), but the nature of humor of a man must change from dating to long term.
In the beginning a great way to hit up beautiful woman is to make fun of her - she is not used to this, and you will seem interesting. But it has to be the right kind of fun (not, you stink and look like a sag of potatoes), and remember to spice it up with subtle (or overthappy but never perfect) compliments, sweet looks and maybe a caress if the timing is right.
In a relationship you do not want to make fun of her - if you are serious about her, you better take her very serious, even if what she is saying sounds to you like two angry bananas doing a tango out of tune.

Timing in dating is everything (and also in a relationship). If she just had a drink, don't offer to buy her one etc. If she has something on her mind, don't grab her boobs (though it can be mighty temptingdrool). This begs patience and powers of observation.

Attitude - to me there is no greater attitude than being yourself, bold and brass - but with restraints, like said, nobody likes a crybaby or needybody, suck it up and smile. Sometimes the only way to make it real is by start out pretending.

You ask somewhere for the opportunity to show your confidence. Take initiative brother, don't wait unless you've got forever. And in this, learn to laugh at yourself, because you are not going to succeed without meeting failure on your way. Better laugh than cry, better learn than grow bitter: there is always something you can do different and better; life is beautiful like that, but it doesn't always work out anyway...

Confidence, to me that is the tricky one, because confidence entails being relaxed, something that only comes with practice. Meaning, confidence depends on positive experiences. You just got to go at it, humble but never deterred.

And if that wasn't enough... A woman wants a strong man. We can debate from here to hell freezes over whether that means stronger than her, but a woman cannot respect a weak man. This doesn't mean not listening to her - indeed it means the opposite. It also doesn't mean that you cannot show your pain, rather the ability to show vulnerability is a sign of strength (just remember, no prolonged self-pity scenes, keep those to a minimum). It doesn't mean never to make mistakes (an impossibility), and certainly not never to own up to them. Being a strong man means knowing what you want, being you, and not letting any new or old chatterbox move you around - being sweet to a gal is good, but if you bend yourself over backwards you've already lost her. She'll wonder that if she can boss you around, how are you ever going to stick it out against someone else. It's a big world out there, a woman needs to know her man can take of her, and if he can't even keep his own s*** together...

Finally, few things turn a woman off more than bad hygiene. Be warned. Few things turn a woman on more than hearing the right words. And no, not necessarily "I love you", they can be dirty as hell (again, timing)
You might be one fat f*** but that doesn't mean you can't present yourself smartly, and unless you're dumb to boot, there is nothing stopping you from developing your speech skills.

By the way did you know some researcher with too much time on his hands determined that the most sexy attribute of a man is... his voice. I'm sure it can be debated, but just to keep in mind, you got a couple of horses to bet on, why continue to whine about the one that's limp?

Sorry about that, probably no one will read it anyway, but just thought I'd throw in my 2cents.

((B))



PS. Lpdon. If you have given up, that's it, it's finished, over, goodbye and sleep well. Why? Because you've given up. Get back in there brother, but know that it is you who is going to have to change....





no photo
Fri 11/19/10 09:08 PM

Interesting thread.

First off, I'll look at the models, no doubt. Life is not a faerytale where justice prevails and good triumphs, get over it.

Secondly, I like your style bl, you actually seems determined, doesn't stick your nose out too much, but grabs the important. Here's my interpretation and addons (and probably I'll be crucified for itoops):

Humor is important (can not be overstated enough), but the nature of humor of a man must change from dating to long term.
In the beginning a great way to hit up beautiful woman is to make fun of her - she is not used to this, and you will seem interesting. But it has to be the right kind of fun (not, you stink and look like a sag of potatoes), and remember to spice it up with subtle (or overthappy but never perfect) compliments, sweet looks and maybe a caress if the timing is right.
In a relationship you do not want to make fun of her - if you are serious about her, you better take her very serious, even if what she is saying sounds to you like two angry bananas doing a tango out of tune.

Timing in dating is everything (and also in a relationship). If she just had a drink, don't offer to buy her one etc. If she has something on her mind, don't grab her boobs (though it can be mighty temptingdrool). This begs patience and powers of observation.

Attitude - to me there is no greater attitude than being yourself, bold and brass - but with restraints, like said, nobody likes a crybaby or needybody, suck it up and smile. Sometimes the only way to make it real is by start out pretending.

You ask somewhere for the opportunity to show your confidence. Take initiative brother, don't wait unless you've got forever. And in this, learn to laugh at yourself, because you are not going to succeed without meeting failure on your way. Better laugh than cry, better learn than grow bitter: there is always something you can do different and better; life is beautiful like that, but it doesn't always work out anyway...

Confidence, to me that is the tricky one, because confidence entails being relaxed, something that only comes with practice. Meaning, confidence depends on positive experiences. You just got to go at it, humble but never deterred.

And if that wasn't enough... A woman wants a strong man. We can debate from here to hell freezes over whether that means stronger than her, but a woman cannot respect a weak man. This doesn't mean not listening to her - indeed it means the opposite. It also doesn't mean that you cannot show your pain, rather the ability to show vulnerability is a sign of strength (just remember, no prolonged self-pity scenes, keep those to a minimum). It doesn't mean never to make mistakes (an impossibility), and certainly not never to own up to them. Being a strong man means knowing what you want, being you, and not letting any new or old chatterbox move you around - being sweet to a gal is good, but if you bend yourself over backwards you've already lost her. She'll wonder that if she can boss you around, how are you ever going to stick it out against someone else. It's a big world out there, a woman needs to know her man can take of her, and if he can't even keep his own s*** together...

Finally, few things turn a woman off more than bad hygiene. Be warned. Few things turn a woman on more than hearing the right words. And no, not necessarily "I love you", they can be dirty as hell (again, timing)
You might be one fat f*** but that doesn't mean you can't present yourself smartly, and unless you're dumb to boot, there is nothing stopping you from developing your speech skills.

By the way did you know some researcher with too much time on his hands determined that the most sexy attribute of a man is... his voice. I'm sure it can be debated, but just to keep in mind, you got a couple of horses to bet on, why continue to whine about the one that's limp?

Sorry about that, probably no one will read it anyway, but just thought I'd throw in my 2cents.

((B))

PS. Lpdon. If you have given up, that's it, it's finished, over, goodbye and sleep well. Why? Because you've given up. Get back in there brother, but know that it is you who is going to have to change....

Bjorn I swear, If i ever make it to Quebec, I'm gonna hunt you down just to talk to you, and listen to your views. Very indepth and thought provoking. Your Wife (or soon to be ex) must be very foolish.

no photo
Fri 11/19/10 09:18 PM

I've pretty much given up on love.


Don't ever give up...:heart:


I have.


if you've given up, then why are you here?

as for the topic at hand...i cant help but feel like the weight isnt the real issue here. and if someone cant look past your outside appearance and see the internal beauty you have then why would you want to be with them anyway? i'd take a nice guy with a big heart over a model that is hideous on the inside any day.....flowerforyou

no photo
Sat 11/20/10 02:08 AM

I am a fat guy and even do i want a serious relationship with kids and all i iam not able to find a girl who can see past my weight and give me a chance why is that.


Hey,
I am in the same situation as you and I can´t do anything as but agree. Give us a chance girls. We are humans too and we want and need love as well....

kc0003's photo
Sat 11/20/10 02:17 AM

Interesting thread.

First off, I'll look at the models, no doubt. Life is not a faerytale where justice prevails and good triumphs, get over it.

Secondly, I like your style bl, you actually seems determined, doesn't stick your nose out too much, but grabs the important. Here's my interpretation and addons (and probably I'll be crucified for itoops):

Humor is important (can not be overstated enough), but the nature of humor of a man must change from dating to long term.
In the beginning a great way to hit up beautiful woman is to make fun of her - she is not used to this, and you will seem interesting. But it has to be the right kind of fun (not, you stink and look like a sag of potatoes), and remember to spice it up with subtle (or overthappy but never perfect) compliments, sweet looks and maybe a caress if the timing is right.
In a relationship you do not want to make fun of her - if you are serious about her, you better take her very serious, even if what she is saying sounds to you like two angry bananas doing a tango out of tune.

Timing in dating is everything (and also in a relationship). If she just had a drink, don't offer to buy her one etc. If she has something on her mind, don't grab her boobs (though it can be mighty temptingdrool). This begs patience and powers of observation.

Attitude - to me there is no greater attitude than being yourself, bold and brass - but with restraints, like said, nobody likes a crybaby or needybody, suck it up and smile. Sometimes the only way to make it real is by start out pretending.

You ask somewhere for the opportunity to show your confidence. Take initiative brother, don't wait unless you've got forever. And in this, learn to laugh at yourself, because you are not going to succeed without meeting failure on your way. Better laugh than cry, better learn than grow bitter: there is always something you can do different and better; life is beautiful like that, but it doesn't always work out anyway...

Confidence, to me that is the tricky one, because confidence entails being relaxed, something that only comes with practice. Meaning, confidence depends on positive experiences. You just got to go at it, humble but never deterred.

And if that wasn't enough... A woman wants a strong man. We can debate from here to hell freezes over whether that means stronger than her, but a woman cannot respect a weak man. This doesn't mean not listening to her - indeed it means the opposite. It also doesn't mean that you cannot show your pain, rather the ability to show vulnerability is a sign of strength (just remember, no prolonged self-pity scenes, keep those to a minimum). It doesn't mean never to make mistakes (an impossibility), and certainly not never to own up to them. Being a strong man means knowing what you want, being you, and not letting any new or old chatterbox move you around - being sweet to a gal is good, but if you bend yourself over backwards you've already lost her. She'll wonder that if she can boss you around, how are you ever going to stick it out against someone else. It's a big world out there, a woman needs to know her man can take of her, and if he can't even keep his own s*** together...

Finally, few things turn a woman off more than bad hygiene. Be warned. Few things turn a woman on more than hearing the right words. And no, not necessarily "I love you", they can be dirty as hell (again, timing)
You might be one fat f*** but that doesn't mean you can't present yourself smartly, and unless you're dumb to boot, there is nothing stopping you from developing your speech skills.

By the way did you know some researcher with too much time on his hands determined that the most sexy attribute of a man is... his voice. I'm sure it can be debated, but just to keep in mind, you got a couple of horses to bet on, why continue to whine about the one that's limp?

Sorry about that, probably no one will read it anyway, but just thought I'd throw in my 2cents.

((B))



PS. Lpdon. If you have given up, that's it, it's finished, over, goodbye and sleep well. Why? Because you've given up. Get back in there brother, but know that it is you who is going to have to change....


dude you have underestimated this...it's at least 4cents, maybe even a nickel...

tinkerstar's photo
Sat 11/20/10 07:10 AM
i would never judge someone but there weight, it's all in there heart how nice they are and what kind of fun we can have together

Himself1's photo
Sat 11/20/10 10:39 AM


Interesting thread.

First off, I'll look at the models, no doubt. Life is not a faerytale where justice prevails and good triumphs, get over it.

Secondly, I like your style bl, you actually seems determined, doesn't stick your nose out too much, but grabs the important. Here's my interpretation and addons (and probably I'll be crucified for itoops):

Humor is important (can not be overstated enough), but the nature of humor of a man must change from dating to long term.
In the beginning a great way to hit up beautiful woman is to make fun of her - she is not used to this, and you will seem interesting. But it has to be the right kind of fun (not, you stink and look like a sag of potatoes), and remember to spice it up with subtle (or overthappy but never perfect) compliments, sweet looks and maybe a caress if the timing is right.
In a relationship you do not want to make fun of her - if you are serious about her, you better take her very serious, even if what she is saying sounds to you like two angry bananas doing a tango out of tune.

Timing in dating is everything (and also in a relationship). If she just had a drink, don't offer to buy her one etc. If she has something on her mind, don't grab her boobs (though it can be mighty temptingdrool). This begs patience and powers of observation.

Attitude - to me there is no greater attitude than being yourself, bold and brass - but with restraints, like said, nobody likes a crybaby or needybody, suck it up and smile. Sometimes the only way to make it real is by start out pretending.

You ask somewhere for the opportunity to show your confidence. Take initiative brother, don't wait unless you've got forever. And in this, learn to laugh at yourself, because you are not going to succeed without meeting failure on your way. Better laugh than cry, better learn than grow bitter: there is always something you can do different and better; life is beautiful like that, but it doesn't always work out anyway...

Confidence, to me that is the tricky one, because confidence entails being relaxed, something that only comes with practice. Meaning, confidence depends on positive experiences. You just got to go at it, humble but never deterred.

And if that wasn't enough... A woman wants a strong man. We can debate from here to hell freezes over whether that means stronger than her, but a woman cannot respect a weak man. This doesn't mean not listening to her - indeed it means the opposite. It also doesn't mean that you cannot show your pain, rather the ability to show vulnerability is a sign of strength (just remember, no prolonged self-pity scenes, keep those to a minimum). It doesn't mean never to make mistakes (an impossibility), and certainly not never to own up to them. Being a strong man means knowing what you want, being you, and not letting any new or old chatterbox move you around - being sweet to a gal is good, but if you bend yourself over backwards you've already lost her. She'll wonder that if she can boss you around, how are you ever going to stick it out against someone else. It's a big world out there, a woman needs to know her man can take of her, and if he can't even keep his own s*** together...

Finally, few things turn a woman off more than bad hygiene. Be warned. Few things turn a woman on more than hearing the right words. And no, not necessarily "I love you", they can be dirty as hell (again, timing)
You might be one fat f*** but that doesn't mean you can't present yourself smartly, and unless you're dumb to boot, there is nothing stopping you from developing your speech skills.

By the way did you know some researcher with too much time on his hands determined that the most sexy attribute of a man is... his voice. I'm sure it can be debated, but just to keep in mind, you got a couple of horses to bet on, why continue to whine about the one that's limp?

Sorry about that, probably no one will read it anyway, but just thought I'd throw in my 2cents.

((B))



PS. Lpdon. If you have given up, that's it, it's finished, over, goodbye and sleep well. Why? Because you've given up. Get back in there brother, but know that it is you who is going to have to change....


dude you have underestimated this...it's at least 4cents, maybe even a nickel...


You think? ... hmmm.... maybe I should start charging :wink: laugh


Jess642's photo
Sat 11/20/10 11:10 AM

I am wondering what a rats "razoo" is?

Back on topic. I am fat on the inside and its what's inside a person that really counts.



rofl

razoo....=...arse.rofl

Jess642's photo
Sat 11/20/10 11:17 AM

Humor,confidence,and attitude the the big three. I have another question for both men and women. Let say your at a club in come a group of male and female models looking for a good time and them a group of overwieght people both male and female looking for love who would you look at? be honest. one more thing humor,confidence,and attitude sounds great but how can someone show you those attributes if no one would give you a chance to show?



....I would look at all of them...they are humans, I can't help but notice other humans...it's an organic response.


Who would I be more drawn to...?

The loud, joyful, joking around group, laughter, and an ease of self...people comfortable in their own skin seem to have a beacon, and stand out above all else.


notice which groups I didn't mention?

The 'I'm too cool for school' arrogant group,...the ' no-one would ever notice me, I may as well die now' group....the 'how come everyone else is having fun, but me' group...

nofreename's photo
Sat 11/20/10 12:45 PM

I love fat guys...Bears rock!!!
love

no, you rock babe. flowers

boredinaz06's photo
Sat 11/20/10 12:56 PM



I've seen lots of fat guys with a good lookin' womern on their arm. The first thought is he has a big willy or money, but it could also be that he doesn't idolize women and put them on a pedestal (not saying you do) but he has the confidence to treat them as they would treat anyone who matters to them.

no photo
Sat 11/20/10 01:12 PM
this thread is still going? when it first started I weighed 155 lbs and now I am up to 270!!! so I guess it is pretaining to me now!!noway frustrated laugh

no photo
Tue 11/23/10 02:01 AM
Edited by bl28 on Tue 11/23/10 02:04 AM

Interesting thread.

First off, I'll look at the models, no doubt. Life is not a faerytale where justice prevails and good triumphs, get over it.

Secondly, I like your style bl, you actually seems determined, doesn't stick your nose out too much, but grabs the important. Here's my interpretation and addons (and probably I'll be crucified for itoops):

Humor is important (can not be overstated enough), but the nature of humor of a man must change from dating to long term.
In the beginning a great way to hit up beautiful woman is to make fun of her - she is not used to this, and you will seem interesting. But it has to be the right kind of fun (not, you stink and look like a sag of potatoes), and remember to spice it up with subtle (or overthappy but never perfect) compliments, sweet looks and maybe a caress if the timing is right.
In a relationship you do not want to make fun of her - if you are serious about her, you better take her very serious, even if what she is saying sounds to you like two angry bananas doing a tango out of tune.

Timing in dating is everything (and also in a relationship). If she just had a drink, don't offer to buy her one etc. If she has something on her mind, don't grab her boobs (though it can be mighty temptingdrool). This begs patience and powers of observation.

Attitude - to me there is no greater attitude than being yourself, bold and brass - but with restraints, like said, nobody likes a crybaby or needybody, suck it up and smile. Sometimes the only way to make it real is by start out pretending.

You ask somewhere for the opportunity to show your confidence. Take initiative brother, don't wait unless you've got forever. And in this, learn to laugh at yourself, because you are not going to succeed without meeting failure on your way. Better laugh than cry, better learn than grow bitter: there is always something you can do different and better; life is beautiful like that, but it doesn't always work out anyway...

Confidence, to me that is the tricky one, because confidence entails being relaxed, something that only comes with practice. Meaning, confidence depends on positive experiences. You just got to go at it, humble but never deterred.

And if that wasn't enough... A woman wants a strong man. We can debate from here to hell freezes over whether that means stronger than her, but a woman cannot respect a weak man. This doesn't mean not listening to her - indeed it means the opposite. It also doesn't mean that you cannot show your pain, rather the ability to show vulnerability is a sign of strength (just remember, no prolonged self-pity scenes, keep those to a minimum). It doesn't mean never to make mistakes (an impossibility), and certainly not never to own up to them. Being a strong man means knowing what you want, being you, and not letting any new or old chatterbox move you around - being sweet to a gal is good, but if you bend yourself over backwards you've already lost her. She'll wonder that if she can boss you around, how are you ever going to stick it out against someone else. It's a big world out there, a woman needs to know her man can take of her, and if he can't even keep his own s*** together...

Finally, few things turn a woman off more than bad hygiene. Be warned. Few things turn a woman on more than hearing the right words. And no, not necessarily "I love you", they can be dirty as hell (again, timing)
You might be one fat f*** but that doesn't mean you can't present yourself smartly, and unless you're dumb to boot, there is nothing stopping you from developing your speech skills.

By the way did you know some researcher with too much time on his hands determined that the most sexy attribute of a man is... his voice. I'm sure it can be debated, but just to keep in mind, you got a couple of horses to bet on, why continue to whine about the one that's limp?

Sorry about that, probably no one will read it anyway, but just thought I'd throw in my 2cents.

((B))



PS. Lpdon. If you have given up, that's it, it's finished, over, goodbye and sleep well. Why? Because you've given up. Get back in there brother, but know that it is you who is going to have to change....









wow this guy makes a lot of sense, you are right, that is something i have to work on. all i can say is thank you, for putting in your two cents you have given me a lot to think about.

Hrnyshauny's photo
Tue 11/23/10 02:16 AM
if someone can't except you for your personality,and there only worried about your appearance/figure,forget about them....