I understand what you mean. Guys that age don't always mellow into the relationship - in about 10 years he'd be more likely to do so - jmho - and of course there are exceptions

I ended things w/ my younger guy too - but it really was not because of our age difference. It was because I really didn't feel he had the capacity to love me - one of those odd things where I carried the relationship, he tended to wander and be not as serious about us as a couple until confronted with losing me (as a lover not as a friend - we will always be friends, I think)

but by then my mind was made up & he was unusually immature in some ways - so I knew that his big panic over losing me would be over in a day and if I changed my mind and went back to him - well, he did not have the maturity to keep promises he made - like to basically be a better boyfriend. kinda sad, but I really don't think he could have done it. but I wish him well. I hope u get ur life back on track!

these men , drive us half crazy loving them

Yep, sounds about the same. How old was he? I'm talking to a 27yo now...been texting like crazy for a few days, lots in common, and really looking forward to a meet up SOON, I hope.

I'm still dealing with my past and present colliding. Last night, a friend (we were more than friends, but I wanted to keep him as my friend and just acknowledge that the rest of the relationship was not satisfying to me)...anyway, he came by and we had a great evening together, talking and getting caught up. Now, this guy is 48. When I casually mentioned talking to this other guy, he up and left. I was like whatever. Then the past returned in another form too...32yo that I dated when he was 28. He contacted me last night and again tonight and asked me to go away for an overnight getaway. I'm not opposed to the idea really. But I think he's gonna flake too. So who knows what I'm doing on my kid free night! Bunch of flakes in my life now, past and present! LOL

I most certainly keep the "family" thing in mind when dealing with these younger guys. I have met many in this age range (late 20s to mid 30s) that have decided they don't want kids. They tend to be outdoorsy types that like to go camping, hiking, and stuff...which is the kind of guy I like too. So we'll just see.

I'm not worried about ANYTHING right now. There are men floating about EVERYWHERE. I'm focusing on me and my forward movement on my life path. Everything will be the way it should...eventually. Just not gonna stress over any of it anymore. Not worth it. Life is easier this way.

yup - I like to just enjoy them too. I guess I am just more careful now before becoming intimate because what I am looking for has changed - well that's not true - what Ima lookin' for has remained the same. but FINALLY after being single for 10+ years - I have a better idea of what to look for in a man that parallels what it is I want in a man - for relationship material

I may have gone too far the other way with the pendulum because I haven't really been involved w/ anyone in the last 2 yrs, but it's something I needed to do - had a couple of bad experiences - as we all usually do - I'm not crying in my beer - just dealing with it...in my way. I wish I had your self assuredness

Well, my self-assuredness isn't so sure all the time. I absolutely KNOW without a doubt that I WILL BE FINE. It doesn't mean it's always easy. I'm not ready for a relationship yet. I finally fu%cking realized that! I have some housecleaning to do. In more ways than one. Tonight I went through a horrendous 3-4 hours of back and forth emails with my ex-bf (the 40yo I lived with until July of last year) to try to get MY closure on that. He is refusing to provide me with one thing that I asked for, something that I definitely have a right to. I was cordial, even fu#cking gracious! But he has a girlfriend now. Even though he was WITH ME a month ago. So he HAS his closure and has moved on. I "moved on" before I had closure, so I haven't moved on. I am ready now though. Not because I want to be able to have a relationship or feel better about myself. I need it so that I can focus all of my energies on the opportunities that are being presented to me, so I can move my entire life forward. And he's just being a pri*ck because he can. Because he's not still groveling in his depression...the way I had to deal with him for a fu&cking year WHILE I supported him...financially, emotionally, and every other way. I encouraged him with writing his novel, then it was his art, then his photography. He never had a real job. But I didn't give him enough attention. For fu%cks sake! OMG, I'm exhausted from my venting. But I did process A LOT tonight, on my own, moving forward, and I AM FINE. Somebody somewhere has to have the capacity to love me as I deserve and for who I am.

Ahhh...that was quite cathartic.

ya, it can take time to put the past away. I think we all deserve someone who will love us for who we are. I think that's why I like younger men - in general (granted there are exceptions) they are more likely to accept us as we are - whether it's because they're just in it for the sex and don't really care about "how we are," or because they look up to us as older & more experienced

I know my last BF was considerably younger than me - I think he appreciated that I didn't keep him on a leash

I think that stereotype reverses as we age - and as we age it's the men who more often want us on a leash for some reason - but it drives me nuts

but despite an attraction to some younger guys, I don't like what the kid in the blue hat up there said - I appreciate his honesty, but I'm not looking for a younger guy in the terms/way that he described

but knowing that he is accurately describing the perspective of younger men- in at least some cases - makes me very cautious where they are concerned so at this point I don't really have an age preference. I never really did - I think I just fell in w/ younger men a lot because of the freedom thing

hopefully you will be able to vent and put the issue w/ your ex BF behind u. You know what they say the best distraction is, of course???

I don't have an age preference either...just seems that I am more attracted to younger guys because guys my age both look and act SO MUCH older than me! I'm digging the late 20s to mid 30s range now. I share commonalities there...besides sex! I didn't much care for blue hat guy's comments either, and really, that hasn't been my experience. My 20yo ex-bf was just in awe of me as a person. Yes, he looked up to me as someone who had life experiences that he could learn from...sexually and in every other way. And we shared a lot. It's all about the connection and if there is a connection, age doesn't matter one bit.

I'm doing great today after last night's emotional $hit. I'm going to be done all of this processing in the next three weeks. I don't think I really need a distraction. I need to go through exactly what I'm doing in order to come out on the other side and be ready for what comes next... to find someone that I connect with, build a friendship, and let it blossom if it does so. I DO want a relationship, but I want a good relationship for a change.

well ya a good relationship would be an awesome gift - almost enough to make me prayerful Nothing better than that physic connection so unique to the two of you that it is almost unreal - I've had that once or twice - it's awesome

I was kinda teasing about the distraction comment- and then again kinda not because after you're done venting - moving on might be the best thing

I think u are lucky to be able to meet and befriend these male friends of yours so easily - I am still (still after all these years) a total klutz in the man department

I'm not really interested in anyone in particular but I have a couple of men who I kinda like - I'm still sort of in the post double Ex limbo...

Don't know how lucky I am really. I meet lots of men and that part does come easily. But they tend not to stick around all that long...or nothing really develops from it in the first place. I had another bad emotional processing night about my ex-love last night and I still feel horrible today. I'm going to be SO free when this is all done, but it's so hard because it's not just about HIM. It's about him AND everything from my past that he triggered. I'll be so strong when it's done too. And I'll be so ready, though I still wonder if ANY man (of any age) can handle me.

I think it's time to draw some other people into this thread! Maybe we should search them out and invite? Dunno.

I'm about sick of men right now honestly. Would love to have a reason to get over that illness. :-)

Im confused so are you into the younger guys for the fun or trying to make a relationship out of it?

I am looking for a relationship ultimately. I share more common interests with younger people than people my own age. But I'm now looking in the 10-12 years younger range. Last one was 23 years younger and that was too much of a difference.

I don't look or act my age. I'm almost 44 (next month) so the other night when I went out with a guy of 32, no one looked twice at us. When I was with my 20yo ex-bf, there was obviously an age difference (and I couldn't take him to a bar). Of course, he looked 18 too.

That being said, I don't really care what other people think. If I meet someone and we dig each other and choose to have a relationship, it doesn't (and shouldn't) matter how old either of us is.

#2. (this is more of a belief of mine) I've found that somewhere around the age of 50 maybe 55 men become almost unable to function alone. They begin to become clingy and start thinking about dying alone. So when a woman is in her sexual prime she has more independant type feelings at around the same age a man is going in the opposite direction. I think this is also where it rolls in the older man dating a younger female. (I'm not knocking young women here) Younger woman tend to be needy, looking for stability or someone to take care of them the whole "father figure" mentality.

Its a one way street when it comes to giving labels.

Guys can date who they want, when they want, as many times as they want and dont usually get labled anything more than maybe a player or an *******.

Women who date younger are labled cougars and such. Women who date older men are called gold diggers. And women who sleep around a lot are called sluts.

I dont think its right. A woman should be able to do what ever makes her happy without getting labled.

This is probably the worst thing i've ever heard but it relates entirely to the way people think of that.

A key that opens many locks is called a Master key. A lock that is opened by many keys is a shitty lock.