Topic: Irreparable
lookin4home's photo
Mon 03/12/12 09:17 AM
Trying to fix what can't be fixed
I keep pound my head, wishing for softer bricks
When my skull splits, steam pours from the lesion
When I've lost my patients in reason, then you'll see my demons
Like the changing of the seasons, hot comes from cold
When I lose my temper, I've lost control
If only I could stuff this anger back in it's hole
Let it burn, and scoop up the ashes from the coal
Taking my lashes as the toll
A story that's getting old

I feel so lost and hopeless, I'm losing focus
I keep looking behind me
If I run fast enough my past can't find me
Cut off my nose for being too defying
The pain was blinding
Ran off a cliff and thought I was flying
That's what happens when you're running blindly
Hitting rock bottom with a sigh of relief
My skeletons had still found me
In a puddle of tears they drown me
1000 deaths my lies had bound me
Finally, I'm sleeping soundly

Fighting a battle against depession
My morale is in recession
My character is in question
I just can't seem to learn my lesson
Still waging war against myself
My wary life sits on the shelf
Dusty and faded
I'm too distracted by this world I've created
I keep trying to earse it, but the lines are too heavy and the characters are too shaded

Analyzing everything but my equation is flawed
Constantly wondering where it all went wrong
Everyone seems to be singing, but I can't hear the song
Everyone is leaving, but they tell me I can't come along
Sitting and hoping the wait isn't too long
They're not coming back, but can I move on?
You can never been King when you're stuck playing the pawn

I want to tear out of skin and become someone new
The person I'm suppose to be, instead I'm trapped in my cocoon
I'm tired of fighting my surroundings and hoping the end comes soon
I can see through the fog, and I'm starring at my tomb
Only where death looms, can life bloom
This is my way of giving back to you

I don't want to die, I don't want to exist
I can't live a lie in blissful ignorance
Money can't by me what I've missed
It feels so far gone it can't be fixed
If I burn all my bridges I won't be missed

What went so wrong with me?
I want to give back what you lost in me
But you never answer my questions, only talk of destiny
I don't know what the question is but you keep testing me
You took it all and keep coming back for the rest of me
You can't seem to find the best in me
I keep settling for mediocrity
My lifes a mockery of what it ought to be
I don't know where I got so lost but this isn't where I want to be
I want to say I paid the price but it was too costly
I lost my life, and to get it back that's what it will cost me