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Topic: Where's the man that can do this
dcastelmissy's photo
Sat 11/02/13 05:37 PM

Oh god, I'm very picky when it comes to cheese ...


So, what kind of cheese do you want with your whine? :tongue:


rofl rofl rofl

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 11/02/13 05:43 PM

Oh god, I'm very picky when it comes to cheese ...


So, what kind of cheese do you want with your whine? :tongue:

I'll leave the whining up to you, I'll stick to my Sheridan's.
A bit of Edammer cheese will go with both, NO fried cat!

Dodo_David's photo
Sat 11/02/13 05:50 PM
From the OP of this thread:

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)


In other words, the man says something that makes sense, but it isn't emotionally pleasing to the woman.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 11/02/13 06:00 PM

From the OP of this thread:

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)


In other words, the man says something that makes sense, but it isn't emotionally pleasing to the woman.


More like woman saying: let's be spontaneous, love a little! live a little! and not analyze and rationalize everything to bits.

burgundybry's photo
Sat 11/02/13 06:05 PM


The OP of this thread needs something to go with it.

Here it is.



:tongue:

Oh god, I'm very picky when it comes to cheese ... So I think I'll pass. If it's slightly mature, old and/or smelly it makes me ill ill Although the worst so called edible thing is English malt vinegar. You want me out of your house, open a bottle and I'm gone, after I ill lol

@ John, pls send me those coupons!

@ PacificStar, I probably would like it, I love crystals, got quite a lot myself, hence my nickname :)





This is why.

Burgundy, this is your (men's) problem, not women's. You are the ones that compartmentalize, not women. So YOU see all these different options and knobs, making things unnecessarily complex. All between the ears, yours to be exact.
tongue2


You ought to see the things I go through, just to get some hot babe's telephone number!laugh

Dodo_David's photo
Sat 11/02/13 06:07 PM


From the OP of this thread:

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)


In other words, the man says something that makes sense, but it isn't emotionally pleasing to the woman.


More like woman saying: let's be spontaneous, love a little! live a little! and not analyze and rationalize everything to bits.


Sure, if you are made out of money, then go for it.

Besides, you imply that a woman would never tell you the same thing that a man might tell you.

I know plenty of women who refrain from instant gratification when it isn't wise.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 11/03/13 02:20 AM



From the OP of this thread:

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)


In other words, the man says something that makes sense, but it isn't emotionally pleasing to the woman.


More like woman saying: let's be spontaneous, love a little! live a little! and not analyze and rationalize everything to bits.


Sure, if you are made out of money, then go for it.

Besides, you imply that a woman would never tell you the same thing that a man might tell you.

I know plenty of women who refrain from instant gratification when it isn't wise.

Typical male, nitpicking by analyzing and rationalizing every word I typed instead of getting the message.
The OP was with a bit tongue in cheek, as I know this 'tuning in' is mostly a female quality. There are men with the same abilities, when they got their anima balanced.
But maybe you eat anima on your planet, even though it's not a cat.

dcastelmissy's photo
Sun 11/03/13 05:09 AM
Wikipedia gives this info on anima and animus:
"Anima and animus compared

The four roles are not identical with genders reversed. Jung believed that while the anima tended to appear as a relatively singular female personality, the animus may consist of a conjunction of multiple male personalities: "in this way the unconscious symbolizes the fact that the animus represents a collective rather than a personal element".[8]

The process of animus development deals with cultivating an independent and non-socially subjugated idea of self by embodying a deeper word (as per a specific existential outlook) and manifesting this word. To clarify, this does not mean that a female subject becomes more set in her ways (as this word is steeped in emotionality, subjectivity, and a dynamism just as a well-developed anima is) but that she is more internally aware of what she believes and feels, and is more capable of expressing these beliefs and feelings. Thus the "animus in his most developed form sometimes...make[s] her even more receptive than a man to new creative ideas".[9]

Both final stages of animus and anima development have dynamic qualities (related to the motion and flux of this continual developmental process), open-ended qualities (there is no static perfected ideal or manifestation of the quality in question), and pluralistic qualities (which transcend the need for a singular image, as any subject or object can contain multiple archetypes or even seemingly antithetical roles)."

My understanding of the above is that a woman with a balanced anima/animus would (in your example) "feel" it would be great to have the crystal now and allow that spontaneity about wanting the crystal and the enjoyment it would bring her. It does not appear to me, according to Jung, that if she had a balanced anima/animus, she would insist on being set in doing things her way, seemingly from a "I'll show you, I'll get what I want and you can't stop me," kind of attitude. Therein lies the balance. JMHO.

MikeMature's photo
Sun 11/03/13 05:39 AM
If the Crystal wants You it will take you there,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

no photo
Sun 11/03/13 06:26 AM
@ John, pls send me those coupons!

@ PacificStar, I probably would like it, I love crystals, got quite a lot myself, hence my nickname :)



Ahhh You already have crystals, well then forget it woman, you think these coupons grow on trees or somethin? laugh smokin flowerforyou


SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 11/03/13 06:31 AM
@ Dcastelmissy
I never said it was like "nenenenene, I do what I want, try and stop me!".
And basically what I was trying to point out with the examples, was that a woman instantly knows what you're like and what you want and/or going to do and a man doesn't. Instead he starts patronizing you (that's how it feels) and analyses it to bits, without acknowledging the woman's wishes/feelings.

Also, a woman has an animus and a man an anima, not both in one gender.
If you're interested in the subject material, I can really recommend reading a book about it. It's so enlightening!

dcastelmissy's photo
Sun 11/03/13 07:07 AM

@ Dcastelmissy
I never said it was like "nenenenene, I do what I want, try and stop me!".
And basically what I was trying to point out with the examples, was that a woman instantly knows what you're like and what you want and/or going to do and a man doesn't. Instead he starts patronizing you (that's how it feels) and analyses it to bits, without acknowledging the woman's wishes/feelings.

Also, a woman has an animus and a man an anima, not both in one gender.
If you're interested in the subject material, I can really recommend reading a book about it. It's so enlightening!


Thanks Crystal, I've done a lot of reading on this myself. I like this thread and it can be very enlightening but can also see it from the man's perspective as well as the woman's. I agree in a lot of points with you, just not in all of them. I believe men are more aware of a woman's feelings than we all give them credit for, although not all men, just like not all women are in touch with the balanced side of their inner being. BTW in regard to your example, my final answer would have been "You are so right about waiting to get the crystal next time we go into town. When we do go that way maybe you could give me your opinion on the crystal I'm interested in?" Happy feeling returns whether he says "yes" or "no" because you accomplish your original intent of getting the crystal, just not at the second or moment you desired it. happy flowerforyou

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 11/03/13 07:42 AM


@ Dcastelmissy
I never said it was like "nenenenene, I do what I want, try and stop me!".
And basically what I was trying to point out with the examples, was that a woman instantly knows what you're like and what you want and/or going to do and a man doesn't. Instead he starts patronizing you (that's how it feels) and analyses it to bits, without acknowledging the woman's wishes/feelings.

Also, a woman has an animus and a man an anima, not both in one gender.
If you're interested in the subject material, I can really recommend reading a book about it. It's so enlightening!


Thanks Crystal, I've done a lot of reading on this myself. I like this thread and it can be very enlightening but can also see it from the man's perspective as well as the woman's. I agree in a lot of points with you, just not in all of them. I believe men are more aware of a woman's feelings than we all give them credit for, although not all men, just like not all women are in touch with the balanced side of their inner being. BTW in regard to your example, my final answer would have been "You are so right about waiting to get the crystal next time we go into town. When we do go that way maybe you could give me your opinion on the crystal I'm interested in?" Happy feeling returns whether he says "yes" or "no" because you accomplish your original intent of getting the crystal, just not at the second or moment you desired it. happy flowerforyou

Yeah, could be a scenario. But to me that is (as per usual) the woman balancing things out by giving in and putting her own desires aside for a man. If the man in question had a more balanced psyche, he could've suggested what you say in a similar fashion. It takes two to tango and it shouldn't always have to be the woman who initiates it.
I suppose it also depends where you're coming from. I've lived with a narcissist for 10 years who had the tendency of telling what I could or could not do every minute of every freakin day. I had to do this "soothing the guy" bit and taking the fuse out of nasty situations for way too long. I learned a lot from it, so in that sense I'm grateful for it and I needed the experience for my own individuation process.
And ppl with perfectly balanced anima/animus etc. don't really exist, but I'd never get involved with someone who's not even aware he has an (very) unbalanced anima/psyche.
I'm digressing, as I didn't mean to get into all this with my OP. Like I said before, it was a bit of tongue in cheek.

lionsbrew's photo
Sun 11/03/13 08:14 AM
Edited by lionsbrew on Sun 11/03/13 08:15 AM

Mind-reading I think you call it, I prefer to call it "tuned in".

Example: I found a new, rare crystal that I really like (yes my nickname is based on something), I'm thinking of getting myself one, but ... petrol to get to the shop and back will cost me E20.
Discussed this crystal on my forum, my girlfriend (G) and me:
G - keep me posted on how that crystal feels!
Me - I will, if I get myself one
G - Oh, you will!
me - You know me too well! (Thinking "*****"! in a loving way) :laughing:

So when I go over to the shop tomorrow, I'll have a real good feeling.

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)

And I would still end up going to the shop, but not with the same good feeling and he'll probs feel his opinion isn't important to me.

Why can't men tune in? Oh wait, I know, because they're not WOmen. :laughing:


See if I were to tell my woman not to go get something she wants its probably cause I was going to surprise her with it anyway. "Way to spoil the surprise and waste petrol."grumble laugh

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 11/03/13 08:25 AM


Mind-reading I think you call it, I prefer to call it "tuned in".

Example: I found a new, rare crystal that I really like (yes my nickname is based on something), I'm thinking of getting myself one, but ... petrol to get to the shop and back will cost me E20.
Discussed this crystal on my forum, my girlfriend (G) and me:
G - keep me posted on how that crystal feels!
Me - I will, if I get myself one
G - Oh, you will!
me - You know me too well! (Thinking "*****"! in a loving way) :laughing:

So when I go over to the shop tomorrow, I'll have a real good feeling.

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)

And I would still end up going to the shop, but not with the same good feeling and he'll probs feel his opinion isn't important to me.

Why can't men tune in? Oh wait, I know, because they're not WOmen. :laughing:


See if I were to tell my woman not to go get something she wants its probably cause I was going to surprise her with it anyway. "Way to spoil the surprise and waste petrol."grumble laugh

flowerforyou

lionsbrew's photo
Sun 11/03/13 08:32 AM



Mind-reading I think you call it, I prefer to call it "tuned in".

Example: I found a new, rare crystal that I really like (yes my nickname is based on something), I'm thinking of getting myself one, but ... petrol to get to the shop and back will cost me E20.
Discussed this crystal on my forum, my girlfriend (G) and me:
G - keep me posted on how that crystal feels!
Me - I will, if I get myself one
G - Oh, you will!
me - You know me too well! (Thinking "*****"! in a loving way) :laughing:

So when I go over to the shop tomorrow, I'll have a real good feeling.

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)

And I would still end up going to the shop, but not with the same good feeling and he'll probs feel his opinion isn't important to me.

Why can't men tune in? Oh wait, I know, because they're not WOmen. :laughing:


See if I were to tell my woman not to go get something she wants its probably cause I was going to surprise her with it anyway. "Way to spoil the surprise and waste petrol."grumble laugh

flowerforyou

Why thank you. :wink:

Dodo_David's photo
Sun 11/03/13 03:23 PM




From the OP of this thread:

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)


In other words, the man says something that makes sense, but it isn't emotionally pleasing to the woman.


More like woman saying: let's be spontaneous, love a little! live a little! and not analyze and rationalize everything to bits.


Sure, if you are made out of money, then go for it.

Besides, you imply that a woman would never tell you the same thing that a man might tell you.

I know plenty of women who refrain from instant gratification when it isn't wise.

Typical male, nitpicking by analyzing and rationalizing every word I typed instead of getting the message.
The OP was with a bit tongue in cheek, as I know this 'tuning in' is mostly a female quality. There are men with the same abilities, when they got their anima balanced.
But maybe you eat anima on your planet, even though it's not a cat.


Interesting spin that you are trying to accomplish.

All I see in the OP is an act of male-bashing.

The alleged "male" response in the OP isn't gender specific.
I know plenty of women who would respond the same way.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 11/03/13 04:04 PM





From the OP of this thread:

With a man the convo would go like this:
Man - it's not smart to get one now with the current petrol price, too expensive!
Me - yeah, but I really want one!
Man - just wait till you have to go in that direction for something else, then you kill two birds with one stone
Me - grmble ... ( @$$hole for ruining my good feeling!!!!)


In other words, the man says something that makes sense, but it isn't emotionally pleasing to the woman.


More like woman saying: let's be spontaneous, love a little! live a little! and not analyze and rationalize everything to bits.


Sure, if you are made out of money, then go for it.

Besides, you imply that a woman would never tell you the same thing that a man might tell you.

I know plenty of women who refrain from instant gratification when it isn't wise.

Typical male, nitpicking by analyzing and rationalizing every word I typed instead of getting the message.
The OP was with a bit tongue in cheek, as I know this 'tuning in' is mostly a female quality. There are men with the same abilities, when they got their anima balanced.
But maybe you eat anima on your planet, even though it's not a cat.


Interesting spin that you are trying to accomplish.

All I see in the OP is an act of male-bashing.

The alleged "male" response in the OP isn't gender specific.
I know plenty of women who would respond the same way.

I'm not trying to accomplish anything. I'm not the one who's in tit-for-tat mode all the time. I don't need to prove anything, especially not as you, and some other men, prove Jung's theory all by yourself.
A mature man wouldn't feel attacked, wouldn't feel the need to lash out and do some Crystal or woman-bashing. He could enjoy a fun conversation and maybe even add some valuable points himself so you get what mankind should get: women and men complementing each other.
Think I asked you a number of times before "Where's your sense of humour?" You always have to make an argument out of everything. Life isn't about conflict and fighting.
The amount of woman unfriendly comments I've come across here on Mingle is astounding, sometimes almost Medieval. No one even notices nor objects to it, even though there's something about it in the forum rules.
If a woman posts something similar, yet not derogatory, but either tongue in cheek or meant to raise a serious conversation, the sh** hits the fan and men feel personally attacked and resort to retaliation (for what I wonder?)

dcastelmissy's photo
Sun 11/03/13 04:16 PM
Women and men both react, some sensitive to what's being said, some taking it tongue and cheek. You can't just say it's wrong for the men to react adversely anymore than you can say it's wrong for women to react adversely. This is a free forum, opinions and thoughts being stated and responded to. If all of us were the same Crystal, it would be a very dull world. Aside from this, sometimes we say things in a way that appear offensive, even though the intent was tongue and cheek. Then, sometimes it appears to be tongue and cheek, when it's intent is offensive. JMHO. :smile:

Dodo_David's photo
Sun 11/03/13 04:52 PM

Women and men both react, some sensitive to what's being said, some taking it tongue and cheek. You can't just say it's wrong for the men to react adversely anymore than you can say it's wrong for women to react adversely. This is a free forum, opinions and thoughts being stated and responded to. If all of us were the same Crystal, it would be a very dull world. Aside from this, sometimes we say things in a way that appear offensive, even though the intent was tongue and cheek. Then, sometimes it appears to be tongue and cheek, when it's intent is offensive. JMHO. :smile:


Exactly. When something is obviously tongue-in-cheek, I respond appropriately.

Yet, I do not see tongue-in-cheek in the OP of this thread. What I see is an excuse to bash men.

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