Being that the members of this site have been introduced to Melmacian-kind, I want to give the Humans here an opportunity to ask questions about Melmacians.

Your questions and my answers may appear in future editions of The Melmacian Times, which I publish and edit.



Before the questions begin, here is a word from our newest sponsor:



Now, let the questions begin.







By the way, my profile has additional information about The Melmacian Times.

The E.T.&t. thing remind me of one of my teachers in college. He worked for adult probation and parole. A.P.&P.

Sometimes they would call a parolees house and say this in A.P&P and ask for the person they wanted and the person who answered the phone would say they were happy with their current phone company and hang up. Eventually they had shirts made that said A.P.&P., we're not your phone company.



Now for a question. How many cats a day does one need to eat and is it hard to keep up with the demand?

How many Melmacians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Lol!

I think the lights are on....but nobody's home it seems.

Contrary to rumor, it is not a catastrophe if a Melmacian doesn't have feline mignon every day.

The Melmacian diet consists of more than critters that say "Meow".

Websites of Human origin claim that we Melmacians have a sea-food diet. That claim is an error due to a mix-up in communication. We Melmacians don't have a "sea-food" diet. Instead, we have a "see-food" diet. We eat any food that we see.

As for the ability to supply ourselves with cat cuisine, when possible, we Melmacians dine out at restaurants such as ...



When no such place is close by, I can always catch a free-range cat by disguising myself as one.

That depends on the size of the light bulb.

What do Melmacians usually do on their first date?

First, we follow the Melmacian Dating Rules, which you can read by clicking here.

Second, if we see a cat, then we run for it.

Third, if we see a police car, then we really run for it.

If the cat is caught and we aren't, then one of us flips a coin to see which half of the cat each of us eats.

With or without a cat, we serenade each other by burping our favorite songs.

Can I hire one to get rid of the alley cats that keep tearing up my garbage?

They might do that for free. lol

Hey, I don't mind being paid to get rid of cats.

Lets say I live in NY. I invite you over to my place and after waiting for say a few minutes I look out the window and say "Hey look at all those cats in the alley." How long will it take before you're out the door trying to catch the cats?

All that I would hear you say is "Hey look at all those cats ..." before I jump through the window.

How good are Melmacians at romance and integrity?

Take a number and wait in line with all of the other women who want to find out.

Do Melmacians abduct young virgins for the home planet?

Since...you...are...Human...I...will...say...this...slowly...so...that...you...will...understand...We...Melmacians...no...longer...have...a...home...planet.

fine....

another question.
How do you avoid the hairball in the throat that eating cats will eventually cause?

Only a Melmacian who is desperate for food will eat a cat that still has its fur.

Some Melmacians prefer to skin a cat before eating it, and there is more than one way to skin a cat. Technique #2 is the one that I prefer.

Back on planet Melmac, the wealthiest Melmacians purchased the the automatic cat peeler.

Skinning a cat is time-consuming, and the cat's skin helps to give the cat flavor. So, it is typical for surviving Melmacians to simply shave cats before eating them.

Now, a Melmacian can shave a cat using an Earth-made device made for that purpose ...



... but doing so takes time.

When possible, I prefer to use a device manufactured by the natives of planet Sylbia.



Thus, I get the full flavor of a cat without risking hairballs.