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I think if were in a relationship and all of a sudden are partner gets sick we stick by there side no matter what. I'm I know I would. But what if you met someone here online going through an illness they were totally upfront with you, there not going to die or anything just have some issues not even the doctors have a clue to.do you continue to pursue or forget the idea?
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I think that depends on the connection you are feeling with the person. I personally seek to find who the person is above all else.
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I think that depends on the connection you are feeling with the person. I personally seek to find who the person is above all else. |
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Edited by
teebee79
on
Fri 03/21/14 06:18 AM
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I was actually faced with this! I liked the guy a lot and he told me he is diabetic and a double amputee.
I'm compassionate but I'm sorry I didn't want to deal with this straight,out the gate. So, I said he and I could be friends. He said he was looking for romance not friendship! hmm.... This is where we ended things, in his position you would think it's better to be friends first. At least then I could grow to love him and not mind taking on his ailment. th |
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I was actually faced with this! I liked the guy a lot and he told me he is diabetic and a double amputee. I'm compassionate but I'm sorry I didn't want to deal with this straight,out the gate. So, I said he and I could be friends. He said he was looking for romance not friendship! hmm.... This is where we ended things, in his position you would think it's better to be friends first. At least then I could grow to love him and not mind taking on his ailment. th |
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I think that depends on the connection you are feeling with the person. I personally seek to find who the person is above all else. Thank you  Those that only see the physical, visuals of a person, I feel sorry for them actually. They usually end up missing the most beautiful part of the person. (In my opinion) I always seek the person and who they are, it is what connects me, turns me on or turns me off, and makes me happy with the choice I end up making. |
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Edited by
2KidsMom
on
Fri 03/21/14 06:29 AM
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Good Thread...Will be interesting to see the responses,on who would stay with someone battling an illness.
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If I was already with them I would stay....
As long as it was not a mental illness then getting to know them would not make a difference. But...if it was mental I would have to pass as far as a full blown relationship...Would not be fair to try, knowing it is not something you could handle... Could still be friends..... As far as other illness if the connection was there then who knows where it would lead.... 
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I work with these kind of people all the time. I am compassionate but just don"t think i would get involved with a double amputee. With diabetes. I don''t know his situation so i can't say much. Amputations with diabetes could be a sign that he wasn't looking after himself...thats not a good sign already but like I said, I don't know his situation. Sadly you could end up going from gf to caregiver/nurse. I knew a guy who did this to his gf's. As for other illnesses, its depends ..can he function daily or is he going to be sick alot and tired? I believe you can be compassionate but do you want to sacrifice for him or her? Love can quickly turn into bitterness.
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My story is pretty complicated.
My wife had breast cancer and cancerous lymph nodes. For the first time in 10 years, we lived in the same house for more than just a few months. She sent her youngest daughter to live with her sister 3 hours away. For the first year and a half months, she did chemo. That was done locally. The radiation was done in San Antonio. Another 3 hours away. The radiation was daily, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Sometimes, the cancer center could hook us up with a motel room for the week. Mon. to Fri. and drive home for the weekend. After all that, she started feeling a little better. She still had to go in to the Onco. every month. Three months later, they say every 6 months. That is when the oldest daughter and husband wanted the kid out of their house. I told her she was free to either go up there to take care of the kid or, make her come down here with us. She opted to go there. For the next 2 years, she would hitch a ride with her uncle to come visit. once every month or two. Fibromyalgia, deep depression and fatigue won't allow her to work. SS has turned her down after 5 application, denial, appeal and hiring attorneys. One was even Wayne Wright. She has 0 income. I have paid her vehicle insurance, phone and send her some money, when I can. I will still do that. The last visit here, I told her I need my independence. I need to be free without feeling guilty if I get a chance at sex with another woman or want to see a few ladies with benefits. I will continue to pay her vehicle insurance, phone and send money when I can. It's a rut I have fallen into and become comfortable with. I love the woman. I want her to live. Truth is, I have fallen out of love with her and become comfortable being alone. Like I said. It's a very complex situation. There is a lot more to it than what I shared. |
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My story is pretty complicated. My wife had breast cancer and cancerous lymph nodes. For the first time in 10 years, we lived in the same house for more than just a few months. She sent her youngest daughter to live with her sister 3 hours away. For the first year and a half months, she did chemo. That was done locally. The radiation was done in San Antonio. Another 3 hours away. The radiation was daily, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Sometimes, the cancer center could hook us up with a motel room for the week. Mon. to Fri. and drive home for the weekend. After all that, she started feeling a little better. She still had to go in to the Onco. every month. Three months later, they say every 6 months. That is when the oldest daughter and husband wanted the kid out of their house. I told her she was free to either go up there to take care of the kid or, make her come down here with us. She opted to go there. For the next 2 years, she would hitch a ride with her uncle to come visit. once every month or two. Fibromyalgia, deep depression and fatigue won't allow her to work. SS has turned her down after 5 application, denial, appeal and hiring attorneys. One was even Wayne Wright. She has 0 income. I have paid her vehicle insurance, phone and send her some money, when I can. I will still do that. The last visit here, I told her I need my independence. I need to be free without feeling guilty if I get a chance at sex with another woman or want to see a few ladies with benefits. I will continue to pay her vehicle insurance, phone and send money when I can. It's a rut I have fallen into and become comfortable with. I love the woman. I want her to live. Truth is, I have fallen out of love with her and become comfortable being alone. Like I said. It's a very complex situation. There is a lot more to it than what I shared. |
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I think that depends on the connection you are feeling with the person. I personally seek to find who the person is above all else. Thank you Those that only see the physical, visuals of a person, I feel sorry for them actually. They usually end up missing the most beautiful part of the person. (In my opinion) I always seek the person and who they are, it is what connects me, turns me on or turns me off, and makes me happy with the choice I end up making. I agree partially with you. A person would have to do their research first so that they understand what they are dealing with. It is a personal decision for sure but don't just jump right in. Illnesses can overtime change a person's personality. I wouldn't personally jump in head first . And its not a.matter of being shallow |
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If I was already with them I would stay.... As long as it was not a mental illness then getting to know them would not make a difference. But...if it was mental I would have to pass as far as a full blown relationship...Would not be fair to try, knowing it is not something you could handle... Could still be friends..... As far as other illness if the connection was there then who knows where it would lead.... |
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I work with these kind of people all the time. I am compassionate but just don"t think i would get involved with a double amputee. With diabetes. I don''t know his situation so i can't say much. Amputations with diabetes could be a sign that he wasn't looking after himself...thats not a good sign already but like I said, I don't know his situation. Sadly you could end up going from gf to caregiver/nurse. I knew a guy who did this to his gf's. As for other illnesses, its depends ..can he function daily or is he going to be sick alot and tired? I believe you can be compassionate but do you want to sacrifice for him or her? Love can quickly turn into bitterness. This is what I was thinking Candiapples. He had potential as far as with dating but to take something like that on when we basically JUST MET?? It's one thing to be like willing2 ( Big ups to you,hon ) but she was his WIFE, they were in love already. But meeting someone with this hurdle... That's too much to ask in a budding relationship. |
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Edited by
Candiapples
on
Fri 03/21/14 08:49 AM
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My story is pretty complicated. My wife had breast cancer and cancerous lymph nodes. For the first time in 10 years, we lived in the same house for more than just a few months. She sent her youngest daughter to live with her sister 3 hours away. For the first year and a half months, she did chemo. That was done locally. The radiation was done in San Antonio. Another 3 hours away. The radiation was daily, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Sometimes, the cancer center could hook us up with a motel room for the week. Mon. to Fri. and drive home for the weekend. After all that, she started feeling a little better. She still had to go in to the Onco. every month. Three months later, they say every 6 months. That is when the oldest daughter and husband wanted the kid out of their house. I told her she was free to either go up there to take care of the kid or, make her come down here with us. She opted to go there. For the next 2 years, she would hitch a ride with her uncle to come visit. once every month or two. Fibromyalgia, deep depression and fatigue won't allow her to work. SS has turned her down after 5 application, denial, appeal and hiring attorneys. One was even Wayne Wright. She has 0 income. I have paid her vehicle insurance, phone and send her some money, when I can. I will still do that. The last visit here, I told her I need my independence. I need to be free without feeling guilty if I get a chance at sex with another woman or want to see a few ladies with benefits. I will continue to pay her vehicle insurance, phone and send money when I can. It's a rut I have fallen into and become comfortable with. I love the woman. I want her to live. Truth is, I have fallen out of love with her and become comfortable being alone. Like I said. It's a very complex situation. There is a lot more to it than what I shared. I feel for you and I give you tons of credit for not just walking away. This should tell some people who are thinking about entering a new relatioship like this . You were already in a loving relationship and found it difficult. We are NOT mean..unloving..cruel or without compassion when we feel that its too overwhelming.We are human..not perfect ((((Willing)))) |
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Well for me if the doctors can't figure it out I wouldn't put that on anyone or invite them into my life. I'd stay friends if things would start to move towards partners I'd have to say I would want your life to be complete and I can't give you that at the moment. That's me speaking with the illness but if I met someone it wouldn't matter to me I look into the soul not what's outside. If this made any sense
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M
I work with these kind of people all the time. I am compassionate but just don"t think i would get involved with a double amputee. With diabetes. I don''t know his situation so i can't say much. Amputations with diabetes could be a sign that he wasn't looking after himself...thats not a good sign already but like I said, I don't know his situation. Sadly you could end up going from gf to caregiver/nurse. I knew a guy who did this to his gf's. As for other illnesses, its depends ..can he function daily or is he going to be sick alot and tired? I believe you can be compassionate but do you want to sacrifice for him or her? Love can quickly turn into bitterness. This is what I was thinking Candiapples. He had potential as far as with dating but to take something like that on when we basically JUST MET?? It's one thing to be like willing2 ( Big ups to you,hon ) but she was his WIFE, they were in love already. But meeting someone with this hurdle... That's too much to ask in a budding relationship. Yes..its not as simple as it looks
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Well for me if the doctors can't figure it out I wouldn't put that on anyone or invite them into my life. I'd stay friends if things would start to move towards partners I'd have to say I would want your life to be complete and I can't give you that at the moment. That's me speaking with the illness but if I met someone it wouldn't matter to me I look into the soul not what's outside. If this made any sense It makes some sense. Like I said earlier. Depends on the illness. I wouldn't want to become bitter towards that person later as the illness progresses or worse..fall in love and lose them. |
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I ain't the picture of Mr Atlas.
I have my health issues as well. I wouldn't allow them to stop me from continuing to live and seek out another partner. I'll list a few. PS. I take meds/oxygen, for all them. Congestive heart failure High BP Asthma Emphysema Chronic Bronchitis Diabetes, with the nerve damage that accompanies it. Degenerative disc disease Degenerating knees Nerve damage in both hands. (Possibly Computer use related) Just found out our keyboards and mice bombard the hands with some sort of radiation. Just so happens, most of my work is computer related. If your hands ache, tingle or feel hot, it could be from that radiation. Back on point. Just because thar's snow on the mountaintop don't mean thar still ain't fire in the belly. |
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Edited by
Candiapples
on
Fri 03/21/14 10:25 AM
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Thats qhite a list you have there Willing.
Too bad there isn't a Happy vitamin (not drug) that we could take. I believe that would cure any illness  Afterall we are at dis ease for a reason. Take care of yourself Willing 
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