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Topic: Ex issues need advice
no photo
Tue 06/24/14 07:00 AM
So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet.....I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....

panchovanilla's photo
Tue 06/24/14 07:11 AM
Just don't let sympathy cloud your judgement.

kc0003's photo
Tue 06/24/14 07:12 AM

So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet.....I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....


You are obligated, to your own well being. Having a past connection doesn't mean you owe him anything. That said, a drink and some time spent may not be such a bad thing. You could use this to put to rest any notions he may have about a future with him.

no photo
Tue 06/24/14 07:33 AM

Just don't let sympathy cloud your judgement.


You are so right on that....I have to keep my distance....ty Panchoflowers

OceanMonster's photo
Tue 06/24/14 07:35 AM
Remember why you broke it off the first time ???
The same reason will still apply, Go ahead have a drink and your regards for both the lost family member and future dates if you see even one red flag... Most importantly, go have a little fun !
Cheers.

no photo
Tue 06/24/14 07:49 AM

So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet.....I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....


You're the only one who can answer your question Tanzy...After eight years of phone/text marriage proposalsnoway and now a sympathy play, I'd say enter at your own risk...A better option, if you haven't already, might be to tell the guy no in language that he can accept as finite....If he wants marriage and you want friendship, how do you think that arrangement is going to work in a positive way?...Especially if you add liquor to the mix.....smokin

jacktrades's photo
Tue 06/24/14 08:02 AM
I think you should only meet him in a group setting. The death of a family member, and you rejecting him on top of that may truly hurt him.In a group setting you can offer condolences and keep out of deeper issues.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Tue 06/24/14 08:08 AM

So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet..... I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....


Avoid and run. Just be done.

no photo
Tue 06/24/14 08:16 AM


So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet..... I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....


Avoid and run. Just be done.


Ahhhhh, my beautiful, wise beyond her years friend!!...(((((( Audrey ))))))..Love you woman!flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 06/24/14 08:59 AM
I appreciate the advice....I think I'm definitely going to hold off on seeing him I don't want to mislead him...

Dodo_David's photo
Tue 06/24/14 09:22 AM

I appreciate the advice....I think I'm definitely going to hold off on seeing him I don't want to mislead him...


Tanzy,

If you choose to visit with him, then tell him that you now have a Melmacian boyfriend ...













Hey, I can dream, can't I? bigsmile

MariahsFantasy's photo
Tue 06/24/14 10:31 AM



So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet..... I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....


Avoid and run. Just be done.


Ahhhhh, my beautiful, wise beyond her years friend!!...(((((( Audrey ))))))..Love you woman!flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou


Thank you (((((Leigh))))) always so kind to me. bigsmile flowerforyou :heart:

no photo
Tue 06/24/14 10:33 AM




So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet..... I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....


Avoid and run. Just be done.


Ahhhhh, my beautiful, wise beyond her years friend!!...(((((( Audrey ))))))..Love you woman!flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou


Thank you (((((Leigh))))) always so kind to me. bigsmile flowerforyou :heart:


This is so funny!!...I was writing to you at the same time your were writing this...Heart strings:heart:

no photo
Tue 06/24/14 10:38 AM
Just cut contact if you don't mind possibly losing him as a friend.

TxsGal3333's photo
Tue 06/24/14 10:40 AM

I appreciate the advice....I think I'm definitely going to hold off on seeing him I don't want to mislead him...


Funny how at times when we actually meet up with a old flame. We realize the feelings are no longer there and they are not the person we thought they were.

We all have to do what we feel is the right thing to do.. Myself I was put in a situation to meet with a ex. I thought I still had feelings for him and wanted to see if there was a chance. But when we met again I was like really no sparks no connection. We had a really good time and parted our ways... Closer at times is what makes moving on so much easier..

No more questions or what if's~~~~whoa

Do what you feel more comfortable with...

no photo
Tue 06/24/14 10:56 AM


I appreciate the advice....I think I'm definitely going to hold off on seeing him I don't want to mislead him...


Funny how at times when we actually meet up with a old flame. We realize the feelings are no longer there and they are not the person we thought they were.

We all have to do what we feel is the right thing to do.. Myself I was put in a situation to meet with a ex. I thought I still had feelings for him and wanted to see if there was a chance. But when we met again I was like really no sparks no connection. We had a really good time and parted our ways... Closer at times is what makes moving on so much easier..

No more questions or what if's~~~~whoa

Do what you feel more comfortable with...


:thumbsup: I can really relate to this Kristi...Something ends, but there is no real closure so you go back for a second look and think, "What was I thinking?"....It's bittersweet, but also very nice to finally have closure!...

MariahsFantasy's photo
Tue 06/24/14 01:56 PM





So I used to date this man in my 20's and we got engaged...I broke it off....

Years pass we go through divorces and for the past 8 years straight he has contacted me and asked me to marry him...

Now he is in town and he has called me to meet..... I am not into him like that if I meet him for a drink will that open the flood gates....he had a family member die so I almost feel obligated....

Help your thoughts.....


Avoid and run. Just be done.


Ahhhhh, my beautiful, wise beyond her years friend!!...(((((( Audrey ))))))..Love you woman!flowerforyou :heart: flowerforyou


Thank you (((((Leigh))))) always so kind to me. bigsmile flowerforyou :heart:


This is so funny!!...I was writing to you at the same time you were writing this...Heart strings:heart:


Fa reels?! surprised I always knew my soul mate would be a woman, I read this in my tarot cards last night. bigsmile :heart: flowers smitten

soufiehere's photo
Tue 06/24/14 02:13 PM



I appreciate the advice....I think I'm definitely going to hold off on seeing him I don't want to mislead him...


Funny how at times when we actually meet up with a old flame. We realize the feelings are no longer there and they are not the person we thought they were.

We all have to do what we feel is the right thing to do.. Myself I was put in a situation to meet with a ex. I thought I still had feelings for him and wanted to see if there was a chance. But when we met again I was like really no sparks no connection. We had a really good time and parted our ways... Closer at times is what makes moving on so much easier..

No more questions or what if's~~~~whoa

Do what you feel more comfortable with...


:thumbsup: I can really relate to this Kristi...Something ends, but there is no real closure so you go back for a second look and think, "What was I thinking?"....It's bittersweet, but also very nice to finally have closure!...

Ahhh..'unanswered prayers' :-)

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 06/24/14 02:19 PM
I am sure you had a reason for breaking it off the first time.

no1phD's photo
Tue 06/24/14 02:31 PM
pulling a a chair up..
and going to go quietly sit in the corner.. this should be interesting..lol..

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