Topic: How attached are you?
SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 03/27/15 10:48 AM
It has happened! You've found THE one for you and you both are totally utterly happy. The time has come to move in together, you both really want this.
But .. both have a full set of furniture, pots and pans, double bed, sheets etc etc etc

Now what?!
Are you willing to compromise, mix it up and both dump some stuff? Are you adamant about keeping all your stuff, so the other party will simply have to dump his/hers.

And what about sleeping in your partner's bed, the one he/she slept in with your predecessor? Would you be okay with that?

Argo's photo
Fri 03/27/15 10:56 AM
no problem for me.......i'm livin' in the back seat of a beat-up '89 chevy impala...laugh

HoneyFly's photo
Fri 03/27/15 10:59 AM
Compromise. I'm only keeping my 'pots' & pans!

no photo
Fri 03/27/15 11:02 AM
I'd rather put my stuff in storage for a year, just in case?

It wasn't so much the getting rid of MY stuff the problem last time

It was the having to shop and buy the chit I already had, again, when things went sideways. indifferent

no photo
Fri 03/27/15 11:03 AM

It has happened! You've found THE one for you and you both are totally utterly happy. The time has come to move in together, you both really want this.
But .. both have a full set of furniture, pots and pans, double bed, sheets etc etc etc

Now what?!
Are you willing to compromise, mix it up and both dump some stuff? Are you adamant about keeping all your stuff, so the other party will simply have to dump his/hers.

And what about sleeping in your partner's bed, the one he/she slept in with your predecessor? Would you be okay with that?


It really wouldn't bother me one little bit.
There's plenty of charity shops who'd take anything you didn't want anyway.
I would insist however, to get sky sports put on the TVohwell I couldn't live without it.

justme659's photo
Fri 03/27/15 11:05 AM
As for large furniture, I am not attached. Who ever has the cleanest gets to keep it. But my mattress is new and it stays. As for some smaller things, like dishes and silverware, women usually have matching sets. But if his are newer and match the color scheme, they stay, mine go.

Things are just things. They can be replaced.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Fri 03/27/15 11:27 AM

I'd rather put my stuff in storage for a year, just in case?

It wasn't so much the getting rid of MY stuff the problem last time

It was the having to shop and buy the chit I already had, again, when things went sideways. indifferent

Storing, yes, have done that too, not in a storage depot, but in his house, upstairs. But I started to really miss my own things.
I really didn't like his furniture, hated his bed (waterbed). We did use some of my stuff, as he barely had towels or sheets. But in the end it was all his or mine. Nothing was ours, not even the house. I'd never want to feel that way again.

I think I'd prefer to do what a friend of mine did: they sold off all their stuff and bought everything new. Although I'd want to hang on to 2 cupboards.

Justfun_1's photo
Fri 03/27/15 06:30 PM
Material things haven't bothered me for a long time now. I have everything I need, and it's functional and comfortable, but I'm not tied to any of it. With the right partner, part of the fun would be deciding what we want to keep. Starting again might be ideal, but not always practical. None of it would be worth falling out over as long as we are happy with each other, although it would be fun to break in a new mattress together haha

mikeyspace4691's photo
Fri 03/27/15 06:37 PM

no problem for me.......i'm livin' in the back seat of a beat-up '89 chevy impala...laugh


I live in a van down by the river.

no photo
Fri 03/27/15 06:37 PM
I've just started again - moved back from a long time living in another country with nothing apart from what was in my suitcase. After a year I have a job, a house (rented), all the stuff I need and my kids are happy. Only thing missing is a lovely man I could gift all the lovely love I have to. I'm playin' the waiting game.....

tta1128's photo
Fri 03/27/15 06:48 PM
All depends. There are certain possessions I don't give up on. Kitchen/baking/cooking I have a hard time letting go of unless the other one has better and I doubt that but it's possible.

Furniture, I can let go of except for a few select things. Bed all depends on how comfortable it is and I would assume my partner would want us both to be comfortable. If not then he's not for me.

Then there's my shoes and clothes - those have to have a place. lol.

I have discarded a lot of "stuff" in the last 10 yrs so I've gotten used to cleaning shite out. I don't have a lot of decorative junk I'm attached to so no collections.

no photo
Fri 03/27/15 06:52 PM
Id move, especially if the energies were conducive to our well being..

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 03/28/15 03:37 AM

All depends. There are certain possessions I don't give up on. Kitchen/baking/cooking I have a hard time letting go of unless the other one has better and I doubt that but it's possible.

Furniture, I can let go of except for a few select things. Bed all depends on how comfortable it is and I would assume my partner would want us both to be comfortable. If not then he's not for me.

Then there's my shoes and clothes - those have to have a place. lol.

I have discarded a lot of "stuff" in the last 10 yrs so I've gotten used to cleaning shite out. I don't have a lot of decorative junk I'm attached to so no collections.

Yes .. clothes indeed, although that's self-explanatory. I do have a lot of things I wouldn't part with, my crystal collection for starters, but also other things like my Aradia & Lord of the Wildwoods statues and some decorative things I really like. And also books I will not part with.

OMG .. beginning to realize that even if I'd leave all the big furniture, it would still be a considerable move, lol

no photo
Sat 03/28/15 03:47 AM

It has happened! You've found THE one for you and you both are totally utterly happy. The time has come to move in together, you both really want this.
But .. both have a full set of furniture, pots and pans, double bed, sheets etc etc etc

Now what?!
Are you willing to compromise, mix it up and both dump some stuff? Are you adamant about keeping all your stuff, so the other party will simply have to dump his/hers.

And what about sleeping in your partner's bed, the one he/she slept in with your predecessor? Would you be okay with that?



lol... would we fit in the bed?
we have superstitions and cultural nuances regarding using previously owned items into a marriage. ideally, items that are used conjugally ought to be new, so as not to bring any bad fortune or less than ideal memories attached with the old items into the marriage (which is considered as a new beginning)...



SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sat 03/28/15 04:38 AM


It has happened! You've found THE one for you and you both are totally utterly happy. The time has come to move in together, you both really want this.
But .. both have a full set of furniture, pots and pans, double bed, sheets etc etc etc

Now what?!
Are you willing to compromise, mix it up and both dump some stuff? Are you adamant about keeping all your stuff, so the other party will simply have to dump his/hers.

And what about sleeping in your partner's bed, the one he/she slept in with your predecessor? Would you be okay with that?



lol... would we fit in the bed?
we have superstitions and cultural nuances regarding using previously owned items into a marriage. ideally, items that are used conjugally ought to be new, so as not to bring any bad fortune or less than ideal memories attached with the old items into the marriage (which is considered as a new beginning)...




Yes, I agree with that, and it makes total sense to me, esp since I'm very sensitive to energies and vibes.
Ironically enough I ended up sleeping in my partner's beds both times (2 LTR), the beds they slept in with their previous partner. It never sat well with me, but in both cases I didn't have a choice for different reasons.
But I will never do that again, no matter what the reasoning is.

no photo
Sat 03/28/15 04:47 AM



It has happened! You've found THE one for you and you both are totally utterly happy. The time has come to move in together, you both really want this.
But .. both have a full set of furniture, pots and pans, double bed, sheets etc etc etc

Now what?!
Are you willing to compromise, mix it up and both dump some stuff? Are you adamant about keeping all your stuff, so the other party will simply have to dump his/hers.

And what about sleeping in your partner's bed, the one he/she slept in with your predecessor? Would you be okay with that?



lol... would we fit in the bed?
we have superstitions and cultural nuances regarding using previously owned items into a marriage. ideally, items that are used conjugally ought to be new, so as not to bring any bad fortune or less than ideal memories attached with the old items into the marriage (which is considered as a new beginning)...




Yes, I agree with that, and it makes total sense to me, esp since I'm very sensitive to energies and vibes.
Ironically enough I ended up sleeping in my partner's beds both times (2 LTR), the beds they slept in with their previous partner. It never sat well with me, but in both cases I didn't have a choice for different reasons.
But I will never do that again, no matter what the reasoning is.


yup... regular furniture is already questionable... the only old stuff worth keeping are the antiques... haha, otherwise, id go with just getting new ones. .... but the bed... even i wouldnt want him to sleep with me on a bed i had a previous marriage or serious long term relation with... just the concept is already weirding me out.. haha

no photo
Sat 03/28/15 05:17 AM
well i'm a pack rat by nature so we'll just pack it a little higher.

but seriously you blend it together, keep the best for both while weeding out duplicates and find room for all the personal stuff.


tta have no fear i will build an addition for the shoes. we might have to buy some extra land though, to fit it ontongue2

tta1128's photo
Sat 03/28/15 05:19 AM

well i'm a pack rat by nature so we'll just pack it a little higher.

but seriously you blend it together, keep the best for both while weeding out duplicates and find room for all the personal stuff.


tta have no fear i will build an addition for the shoes. we might have to buy some extra land though, to fit it ontongue2
You would do that for lil ol me? :angel:

no photo
Sat 03/28/15 05:24 AM
as long as we can afford the 500 acre lot next door, to fit it onlaugh