I recently left an abusive relationship. I still have hurt and anger toward the person and what happened. I just want peace and to forgive and move on with life....easier said than done

I have been going to a Christian support group but it just seems to bring up the pain and anger again

You got it... This type of thing takes a long time to heal from. Not only have I left one myself years and years ago.. I have done a bit of counseling of folks that have gone through it themselves.

You may not understand what I am going to say here and in no way am I putting you down..

I have found that the first step of moving on and healing is to ....
Forgive yourself for allowing it, allowing by staying after the first verbal abuse and then the physical abuse, that takes a lot of time.

Good luck and best wishes along with prayers.

I agree, I had to go "underground" for the sake of my children and for my life.
You have to work on you so you are armoured and 100% a whole person who loves herself not to let anyone abuse you in any way so the situation doesn't repeat itself.
Taking time for yourself to heal will allow you to love fully again and not "punish" the next person for the past of the abuser.
My ex died last year of cancer and when I heard I cried but not of relief. I had reached a point where I grieved for him and the choices he made and where his soul was instead of celebrating I would never again have to look over my shoulder.
Praying for your journey to be victorious and joyful with a peace that passes all understanding!

Thank you ladies and I agree. I knew before about victims of abuse. Seems to be different when it happens to you.

I know I didn't deserve it. My heart is too big. I even went through a phase of not wanting to help anyone or care....but that isn't me. I almost allowed him and his family to change that. It was no good deed goes unpunished with them. It was like being in the Twilight Zone. He has all of the traits of a narcissist (not trying to diagnose him) but makes sense.

I am grateful we weren't married or had kids together

I am angry becaise he has no empathy and I did everything for us and was repaid with abuse (physical, emotional and mental)

He is still a bad alcoholic and I busted my butt to try ti help...instead some how I am his and his family's scapegoat.

I guess it hurts and a huge let down more than anything. I wasn't brought up that way and it amazes me how that whole family is.

Guess I am not meant to understand. Probably why I have a hard time finding forgiveness

First..forgive yourself.
Then forgive him.
Forgiving him is not for his benefit..it is for yours

You are right 100%

I have come to the realization that I did my best and was taken advantage of and I have no regrets for being a caring person

Now I have to work on forgiving him. Not because what he did was ok or that I deserved it but because that is him and God is in charge.

I do still beat myself up for worrying about his drinking and caring. I don't want to see him harmed. I was in the hospital more than his own family when he had seizures because of his drinking (right after Christmas) and he was in a medically induced coma. He is back to drinking heavy

I need to learn to give it to God but easier said than done for me

Alcohol combines the elements of both mental illness and physical disease. Alcoholism is classified as a substance abuse disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III). Mental and emotional symptoms of alcoholism exist long before the grave physical complications of the disease appear.
Why he drinks was there long before you appeared into his life.
You loved him to the best of your ability.
EACH time you think of him, stop the thought and say a prayer for him and his family. Every thought captive as you release healing by forgiveness and praying for them changing the course of the negative memories and trauma within yourself. God will surely honor you for it.
You also have many people here who will be praying for you as well.

Forgiving yourself really is the first step and possibly the hardest.
Let yourself go through the hurt, the pain, and yes, even the anger. Just be sure not to dwell in that place. These are necessary steps to ensure proper healing. They're difficult to face but once you're on the other side you'll be stronger for it.

Be blessed and be proud of yourself... you got out