like the song says breaking up is hard to do...... so is it??.. is breaking things off with somebody you are in a relationship. With... hard for you to do??..
How do you ,tell that special someone in your life... that they're just not ,that special someone in your life anymore..
So!!.. you have gone out on quite a few dates ..with them ..you've been intimate with them ..a few months have gone past.. but your just not exactly feeling it anymore... you like them, and you care for them, but you have now realized !..that you just aren't deeply in love with them... you gave it a honest shot.... but for whatever reason, they just not really, what you're looking for..... so how do you go about breaking up with them..

Are you a honest straight shooter..
And just tell them point blank?

. Or do you slowly over the course of a few weeks stop showing interest in them.... hoping they pick up on the hint.?..
.
Or do you simply just disappear..?.

So how do you break up with somebody who is almost perfect for you ...but just not all the way perfect..

I am fortunate not to have to deal with with breaking up for the past few years, so I will not answer on topic, but...


I feel the need to pick out this sentence and comment. WTF? You've nailed the problem for many singles in this one sentence. Why do people look for perfection? I don't want to hear that it is just a saying either since I know this mentality exists everywhere. Stop looking for something that doesn't exist and try to find someone whose flaws you can embrace.

you hooked on the beginning of a relationship?


the hot and heavy
the butterflies
the excitement of hearing their voice on phone

laughing at jokes they have never heard before
the rapt attention
the admiration

the "oooo I have been thinking of you all day"




oh and in answer to that question


let's see now
there was this one guy
who asked me to watch his cat for him
after only two dates
since he had to leave town for job painting a house

when I reluctantly said yes..I liked his cat more than him
he showed up with his cat, a suitcase of clothes, a lamp, his bathroom supplies and lord only knows what else...a rolled up sleeping bag

when I said " what is all this stuff"
he said he was behind on his rent
and could he just keep this stuff at my place for awhile..
'uh huh...and uh where will you be staying?"

" with my stuff"
then he had to run to Lowe's to get some new brushes for his job

My kid and I had all his **** at the curb by time he got back
told him if he showed up again on my doorstop I would call the cops

Well, every relationship goes through stages and this stage seems to be when the bloom is off the rose..and when normal life takes over..the daily routines and the ruts start to form.
will you ever get perfection from one person? I doubt it. Perfect for you, yes, but one needs to be willing to accept some imperfections - no one is perfect - only perfect for each other.. back we go to accepting imperfections... its a viscous circle.
If someone wanted to break up with me, I would want to be told and not given the cold shoulder..
But tell me why too -maybe its something I could work on for the next dude..
Then look inwards to what you are looking for in a partner - indeed maybe your not looking for a life partner.
What a conundrum - you treat the ladies too good, they get attached even when you tell them in the beginning that 'its just for fun'..perhaps you are leading them on with gift giving etc...giving them a wrong impression? just asking mon cheri..

I dont think I ever actually 'broke up' except from my marriages

in the first, it was a 'war of the roses' moment, when I literally told him one day that my skin recoiled every time he touched me and that it made no sense for us to keep living in a marriage that would have to be platonic,,,,


(it was far more than him not being 'perfect enough' though)



in the second, I actually didn't break up, but I told him I didn't think it was worth him coming to the USA( he is British) if being a parent was conditional on being my husband,, he said it was both of us (my daughter and I) or neither of us and he hasn't been back since (that was 2008)


but as far as the other

relationships, they just dwindled out and we gradually went separate ways

Depending upon my mood & the mind-set of the Other Individual;
I will & have employed all the above strategies. Sad to report
that gentle,sensitive, compassionate, soft spoken, & kind efforts
have not been successful. Repeated failure of communication seems to
provoke it's own kind of anger & gets me, exhausted & stressed-out.
In turn I feel compelled to "up my game" & become rather hard-azz, brusque, & bitchy in the matter. It becomes further upsetting to be
forced to employ such aggressive, cold, & callous behaviors when "That Is Not Who I Am [but,have the capacity to be]. Having to employ such a nasty display towards someone who I had once felt "Warmth" towards does not make
me feel good as a person. More often than not, it escalates into a unpleasant, ugly mess:{ The End.

I would have to say no. Not according to my life experiences.

Breakups are resolutions to painful situations. The hard thing to deal with, is everything that leads up to them.

Well I don't use people for casual comfort and then when I actually get to know them and decide I don't really like them have to ditch them.

If I date someone I treat them with respect and am honest with them not saying I care when I am not convinced that is a fact.

If I am losing interest or dislike something that I later discover I tell them directly and move on.

I think the whole disappearing act is gutless and rude; especially if you know the other person has some expectation of future contact.

Do I always see need to give a person and explanation beyond my choice that "I don't want to continue"; no. If they are so spoiled and entitled that they think every performance deserves a critique then they are going to be disappointed.

Is it particularly painful for me to move away from someone I have decided I don't enjoy being around? No. Sorry I am just not into creating drama where it does not or should not exist. Relationships begin and fade every day. If I have not made that person dependent on me or made some false promise then I have no remorse. I go out with someone I am not pledging until death us do part.

Agree!!! The chances of perfect are almost non-existent!

I have realized that it would just be nice to find someone that can accept and support me as I would accept them, as long as the are honest, genuine, and supportive we are all going to have flaws.

I also have not had to face this dilemma in quite a while, so I cannot comment.

I

I had as close to perfect as you can get with my last partner.
Still doesn't mean it's easy. Both of us agreed, but it was still very emotional and painful. We cried in each other's arms because it's just friggin hard. Letting go of each other, knowing you also will lose the good you still have along with the bad.

Yeah, we cried and hugged a lot. Supported each other etc. We still had to live together for 9 months after that until I got the home I live in now.
I can tell you, that wasn't always easy. It was letting go in bits and pieces, one step at the time. And I was grateful for that. I sux at (abrupt) goodbyes.

Oh, as for how I said it ... I had kept things bottled up for too long, in both my LTRs, so at some point I just couldn't stop myself and blurted it out ...
The first time was awful because our kids were still young.

Never had to deal with this in a short term situation. But I'd probably do it Angel-style just the same

I just say it as it is.
By this time I have tried everything to make it work.
Honesty is the best thing.

I told the ex it's over I'm done we are through.
I'm out of this marriage.
Good bye.

Why beat round the bush? Say it as it is then everyone knows what's happening.

Yes.
You know you're going to hurt them, and there's no way to win the situation where you don't.

There's no universal system of breaking up a serious bonded relationship that can be applied to every situation with positive results.


It's all based on why I'm breaking up with them, who they are as people, what I know about them, what's going on.

It's situational.


Yes, if I believe that is best for the situation.


Maybe.
Maybe I'm breaking up with them because communication sucks, and point blank telling them something is just not heard so they need some sort of action. Maybe they always complain about this from other guys...so I know they know what this means and do it to guarantee it's clear.


Maybe.
Sometimes the situation just warrants it.
Although, generally not after a few months.
If you try to just disappear after a few months they tend to know where you live and will just come by with the whole "I was worried! I thought maybe something was wrooooooong! Or you were sick! What's going onnnnn?"
And you've basically given them the power to ambush you at any time by trying to disappear when they know where you live.


Imperfectly but with finality.

God I love Garage sales

Use that classic line of....."It's not me.....its you". Or is it the other way around?

Oh yeah, them one-liners that always go down so well!

Like: "You deserve better!"

That sure softens the blow!