One of the hardest social situations to face is starting a conversation with someone you know very little about. You might already understand that the key to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener; You need to ask questions that will get to the interesting part of someone, and then be truly interested in listening.How many of you agree with this??

I think it depends on the situation.

For me personally I have no problem walking up to let's say, a new work colleague for instance and starting conversation.

But as this is a dating site I assume you mean in a romantic sense, then for me it's a whole different ball game.

The fear of making a complete fool of ones self make me hesitant to say the least.

How could I forget about him, I should watch re-runs of friends

Yes it can be difficult typing a message to someone you know nothing about without trying to say the wrong thing but once you have found a few things out about the person I'm sure the conversation will start flowing naturally. Just find out about them what they like and vice versa then the rest can hopefully be history so to speak and I'm sure there will be lots of different subjects to discuss x

Listening is the whole deal.
You can listen with your eyes alone.
Looking interested makes one interesting.

Silence can speak volumes too.
And comfort with silence is a gift.

I do agree with everything you said about communication skills but remember for a good conversation to spontaneously flow and be successful , it should work both ways as communication is a two way process of talking and listening. No matter how good conversationalist you are, when the one you are communicating with lacks interrelationship skills then you will have a hard time to convey your ideas, opinions or interest and come up to a point of understanding or good connection or rapport. Not all of us are gifted with that talent but then again it could work if you have the patience and sincerity to put the person at ease and make her open up or respond to you. You should find all possible things that would work to get response from that person, show interest to get to know her wants, needs ,desires, thoughts, feelings, any thing about her or something that is of her interests. Communication or being a good conversationalist is not just about all talks. But if all you've done still got no response from a woman, then it means you have to move on to someone who will show interest and appreciate all your efforts.

Be honest about wanting the conversation and have something worth speaking to.


If you see people as trashy onions where the outside is all just meaningless filler to be pushed through in order to get to the "interesting part of someone" you will always have problems with conversation.

Each layer is just as important as the next.
If you treat it as such other people will usually return the favor.
Unless you are repulsive (as opposed to attractive or neutral) to them.


It would be more appropriate to say, for the sake of this medium, "a good conversationalist is to be good at paying attention to, remembering, and conceptualizing as much information as possible that you are being presented with in multiple forms (body language, facial expressions, language capability, factual information, situational awareness, atmosphere, tone, etc.)."


I don't agree with that.
Asking "questions that will get to the interesting part of someone" is mostly asking them to provide you with a conversation or at least the subject.
IMO you need to be interesting and offer them something they will find worth responding to.
IMO you will be more successful if you draw them into a conversation, rather than to force them to drag one out of you in response to "interesting part of someone" questions.

But you do have to approach it as though you genuinely care what they have to say in response, care that they interact with the conversation.
As opposed to just emotionally ejaculating something as a means of forcing their attention on to you so you can ask them out or whatever because you had a good emotional reaction to them.

Although, there can be short term success by asking highly personal potentially inappropriate questions as it shocks their systems and they emotionally respond in incompatible ways.
They want to interact in a happy, friendly, or helpful way, to be a "good" person, to garner a "good" judgment, but then they are asked things that make them feel threatened.

When those two collide it causes a quick burst of emotional confusion which someone can sometimes utilize to their advantage as the confused person generally looks to someone else for cues on how they are "supposed" to respond.
What follows is usually a touch of emotional manipulation that doesn't last very long.
But it can lead to a one night stand. e.g. pua's.

Just depends on what you deem is a "quality" conversation.
.

When it comes to having a conversation .. with a woman it's very easy... just ask her to tell you about herself.. make sure you have ordered a tall drink for yourself... because she's going to be going on and on and on and on...lol..

...and on and on and on...lol

..lol.. you my dear.. I could listen to you go on and on all day...

I am pretty lousy when it comes to conversation. But to start one...is no problem...I generally lead with....talk to me about your last relationship... Okay, that could take awhile.....but at least you will get the feel of how she may treat you....and while she is talking, you sip that cold one and keep eye contac....yeah right!!!

I think and feel a good conversation is very spontaneous and jumps from topic to topic, covering lots and lots of different topics. And one topic generally leads to another topic, and before you know it, you are both comfortable with each others questions and answers.

From force of habit, I keep away from asking questions which are of a personal nature, naturally this is because I don't like being asked personal questions myself! And after all, you have just met the person and you both hardly know each other.

Moving on..., if you like each others company and arrange to meet again, then maybe you can ask personal questions, IF the topic is of a personal nature.

I find that most times, no one likes to be rushed or pressured, including myself, so just go with the flow and learn more about each other over a period of time, rather than trying to learn everything about the other person in one meeting/date.

i
start
with...

pull my finger...

I'm a woman. I don't like to talk about myself. Guys I date will talk and talk and talk.

Whoa.. I luv women who dont talk about themselves to no end, and believe actions speak louder than words...sadly a rare combo...

thanks for your comments
Regards

Hi,i am not referring for a romantic conversation to start with any one but i am talking about the friend requests out here on this dating portal

Hi,i am doing good thanks and wish the same for you.
regards

GREAT