Wow where do I start or should I even start? Not big on wasting my "breath" on posts that clearly are venting/rants. On the odd chance you want a reality check and real world how too's read but don't expect hearts and flowers.

Blonde does have a serious point about what you post on line is out there for everyone to see and forever. That is one thing if you are a big girl and want to deal with it. It is a whole another thing for the kids you say you love to have to. You can pretty much stake your life on sooner or later your kids are going to see it too. Probably sooner because don't fool yourself cyber bullying trickles down to the kids and they have the misery of you airing their dirty laundry on line and hearing it at school and any other place they hang out. Now they not only have to have a jerk for a Father but a Mom they have to defend for being well in your words Spineless.

Keep in mind this "venting" crap only paints a BIG RED BULLSEYE on them as well as you. Judges and Family Court advocates do not take kindly to Parental Alienation; especially of same sex parents. You have been in court for only a separation and that is WAAAAAAAY different than the divorce or deciding Custody. How would you like to only be able to see your kids with a court officer present and have to pay for that persons professional time?

How would you like to have to pay your husband child support? You withhold information from the court, which is what you have admitted doing, you better be preparing yourself to be spending a few nights in jail for contempt. You have anything that remotely is significant proof you should be running to the "court" and get it on the record. What you call proof and what a court will call proof are two VERY different things. If you did anything that even suggests you fought back you can pretty much forget any settlement. If you have fought / mouth off to "others" they will come out of the wood work like cock roaches. You are deluding yourself if your think he is going to fight fair. The lawyers will get paid, and the court psychiatrists but you may not collect a dime. You are computer literate, you are not can't get pregnant, you are behind a line of millions who are worse off. Fair or Foul you appear to be able to pass for white so you don't even get to play the "minority" card. Judge is going to expect you to go to work in some Obama care office transcribing insurance claims and doing data entry.

Little word to the wise a man who will beat a child's Mother will have no problem with beating a child when they feel like it. And they will hit/punch them more often than not in the face or torso which can cause life long internal damages from deafness , blindness, paraplegia, liver and kidney failure, dietary problems from damaged teeth that will fail over time, not to mention Traumatic Brain Injury so they may never be able to work and support themselves. If he beats you do you think he is going to support a disabled child the rest of their lives? Can you? Especially if your sons have "LEARNED WHAT THEY LIVED" and have poor impulse control to cope with their injuries?

That YOU allowed them to be psychologically damaged by that is on YOU every bit as much as HIM. You might be saving YOUR face at the expense of their's.

Since it sounds like you were married to a bully; at least that is your side of it I will address your accusations/emotions and you take away what you will.

YOU might be Wonderful but you are not Wonder Woman!

This mess did not happen over night and it is not going to suddenly get fixed; even by finding a better man.

Chances are you will go out and find someone the same way you found the one you are trying to get rid of. You can write all the disclaimers you want on a profile but if you sell yourself as a doormat victim then you are just setting yourself up for the next guy who is a smooth talker and wants someone to wipe his feet on. You need some co-dependency counseling and life skills classes in a big way.

Sorry but so the hell what you can't have any more children? Your sole value in life is not to pop out kids like a baby factory. And if all a man wants you for is to be a breeding rabbit you were smart to kick his behind to the curb. And the same goes for one that wants you to back track now that yours are old enough to be in school and you have at least a chance of developing a career. Or heaven forbid building your own Habitat for Humanity home. Besides You can always adopt if you find out someway to pull 5 or 6 million out of your ears but the three you got sound like they will be a challenge to provide for. You are still in the easy stage. Wait until the three you have start eating their way through a shopping cart of food every three days, want to play sports, need braces or $5,000 of wisdom teeth pulled, want a car, or for you to afford insurance for three teenagers, or graduation and college expenses. " Bernie" can promise you free college but even with honor roll grades it is going to set you back some serious coin even for trade school, or community college.

Hate to break it too you even if you ship them off to the military or Job Corps or their Dad their starting pay does not afford them enough for even furnishing a barracks room/apartment, flights home for the holidays, or any kind of civilian clothes. And when they come home it is usually with someone you don't know and they are pregnant since they tend to pick someone with just as unhappy a home life as they have had. Take it from me if you think the kids are going to stop needing you any quicker than it sounds like you are going to need a parent to help you then you want to think again.

And it has nothing to do with growing a back bone. You could have the back bone of King Kong you are not going to get blood out of a turnip. It sounds good on line to say go get and attorney and try to get spousal support now days the court is not going to waste it's time enforcing a support order so you can set at home and pretend you are "Suzy Homemaker".

I'm sorry that you have injuries and I am sure that is going to make life pretty miserable. But you want to scare a future employer or boyfriend off tell them you have a laundry list of "repairs" to pay for. Sure there are supposedly laws written to protect the disabled and they are still poorly enforced and being watered down as we speak. I know I helped write some of them.

You think you are going to be able to survive on Social Insecurity you are deluding yourself. State programs are being whittled away and state economies are going bankrupt so they are making you wait longer, be more profoundly disabled , and be older before you qualify for programs.

CireTom is right about Pecking order and staying in the here and now.

And you can't sell a dead horse so you need to clean up the pitty poo and start focusing on the positives. You can't afford the luxury of self pity.

What you need is a budget and a career goal not pretending Prince Charming is going to rescue you. Not happening.

Chances are you will end up remarried; I will give you that you still have your looks, maybe you will luck out and find a guy who has a couple of kids he wants a "Nanny Mommy" for but if you don't want a Mamma's boy or a has been you are going to have to bring some good cards to the table. And lets face it they are not ones you can tuck in your panties fashion magazine clothes you are about ten years too old for that game.

Since "he" seems to have a fetish about getting women pregnant you can bet he will have a "replacement family" fast enough to make your head swim. Yours may be first in line but he can have as many as he wants and they all get equal shares. Amd I can guarantee you some woman will believe his sob story and drop her drawers on the floor and help him out.