100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
| Topic: Getting back into the mindset for dating | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Apparently I have been in my own world for a few years now. Most of my relationships have been 3-5 years long, and at 36 years of age, looking around the dating scene....I'm a little lost.
I have never really considered myself to be the age that I am, having always had a younger mindset with the responsibilities that come with being an adult. I start looking at my age range (30-40) and I suppose it's a wake up call. Everyone seems busy with having had kids, or wanting them, divorces and other things I never experienced. It's almost like I am 21 and just starting out, but look in the mirror and realize life might have passed me by in the life-experience stages. (That and I don't look 21 anymore.) So, here I go, completely unprepared for reality, giving it another shot, this time in a totally different mindset and environment. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Apparently I have been in my own world for a few years now. Most of my relationships have been 3-5 years long, and at 36 years of age, looking around the dating scene....I'm a little lost. I have never really considered myself to be the age that I am, having always had a younger mindset with the responsibilities that come with being an adult. I start looking at my age range (30-40) and I suppose it's a wake up call. Everyone seems busy with having had kids, or wanting them, divorces and other things I never experienced. It's almost like I am 21 and just starting out, but look in the mirror and realize life might have passed me by in the life-experience stages. (That and I don't look 21 anymore.) So, here I go, completely unprepared for reality, giving it another shot, this time in a totally different mindset and environment. Well you are lucky to realize that before you reached 60.   Different circumstances in our lives may cause us to limit ourselves and keep distance from other people(emotionally). 36 is not so old considering the lifestyle and culture you have. As long as you are really determined and serious about the things you like to work on, you can possibly gain positive results. You just have to identify that specific goal and focus yourself into it. Besides, you date not just to have someone. People date because they feel this certain force thats pushing them towards it. Like strong attraction. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I believe you are absolutely correct in your assessment. I think it is a matter of sticking to what one wants versus becoming overly compromising. Sure, you can have too many rules for dating, but then also not enough. Perhaps a lot of people sort of give up via discouragement and decide that anyone is better than no one.
That's the goal I am striving for.....wait it out. She's out there somewhere and it will just take time. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Well, be active, be out there where you can be seen and found, and where you yourself can see and find.
As for the rest, never compare yourself to others! They might envy you, the life you've lived so far and your freedom. Ppl always want what they don't have you know. And not everyone wants children, not everyone is cut out to have children and plenty of men sire their first at your age. I know, cos I come across a lot of man MY age (end 40, beginning 50) that still have young kids at home. Meaning they had them around 36-38. That could've been their second litter, lol, but it does mean becoming a dad age 36-40 is not odd at all. So if you're worrying about that, don't! In general, it sounds like you've now become emotionally mature. Which is great! 36 is a wonderful age, enjoy it! And if you're now ready for a steady relationship, just go out there with that mindset, and you will meet different ppl. If you go out and about with the mindset to just bum around, have a fling here and there, nothing lasting, you also attract ppl that fit that vibe. Possibly even the clingy, needy women, making you want a steady relationship even less. If you now have a different attitude, your vibe will be different too, you prolly be attracted to different type of women and you will attract different women. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Apparently I have been in my own world for a few years now. Most of my relationships have been 3-5 years long, and at 36 years of age, looking around the dating scene....I'm a little lost. I have never really considered myself to be the age that I am, having always had a younger mindset with the responsibilities that come with being an adult. I start looking at my age range (30-40) and I suppose it's a wake up call. Everyone seems busy with having had kids, or wanting them, divorces and other things I never experienced. It's almost like I am 21 and just starting out, but look in the mirror and realize life might have passed me by in the life-experience stages. (That and I don't look 21 anymore.) So, here I go, completely unprepared for reality, giving it another shot, this time in a totally different mindset and environment. If most of your relationships had lasted 3-5 years, then you must have a pretty good idea why you are still looking. They say we get wiser as we get older... who are they? ... them smart peeps.  anyway, welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
SRG80
on
Thu 05/19/16 08:04 PM
|
|
Well, be active, be out there where you can be seen and found, and where you yourself can see and find. As for the rest, never compare yourself to others! They might envy you, the life you've lived so far and your freedom. Ppl always want what they don't have you know. And not everyone wants children, not everyone is cut out to have children and plenty of men sire their first at your age. I know, cos I come across a lot of man MY age (end 40, beginning 50) that still have young kids at home. Meaning they had them around 36-38. That could've been their second litter, lol, but it does mean becoming a dad age 36-40 is not odd at all. So if you're worrying about that, don't! In general, it sounds like you've now become emotionally mature. Which is great! 36 is a wonderful age, enjoy it! And if you're now ready for a steady relationship, just go out there with that mindset, and you will meet different ppl. If you go out and about with the mindset to just bum around, have a fling here and there, nothing lasting, you also attract ppl that fit that vibe. Possibly even the clingy, needy women, making you want a steady relationship even less. If you now have a different attitude, your vibe will be different too, you prolly be attracted to different type of women and you will attract different women. Interesting view-point: "emotionally maturing." Sounds about right. :) The search is in the wee early stages, so keeping my head up and keeping on doing whatever it is I do. Thanks for the encouragement. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
SRG80
on
Thu 05/19/16 08:04 PM
|
|
If most of your relationships had lasted 3-5 years, then you must have a pretty good idea why you are still looking. They say we get wiser as we get older... who are they? ... them smart peeps. anyway, welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search Well, to be fair, most of my relationships lasted that long due to co-dependency. It's this emotional maturity spoken of that has me sticking to my ideals this time around. Trouble was I gave up early, taking the first girl who came along and showed interest. I have found, most of my life in this area I am in at least, that "pickins are slim." My fault for latching on so quick as well. Lessons learned. Thank you as well for the input. |
|
|
|
|
