There's something been bothering me & really needed advice.
I was dating a girl since october last year upto april this year when we had our differences & got seperate.
We were living together & it was quite amazing & romantic & we had our arguments here and there but above all she was that special one i hoped to spend my life with .
2 months ago we had differences & she moved out & avoiding any contact from me.
Last week her sister tells me shes pregnant with my child & that i should know...
My question is why couldn't she contact me directly & tell me that & after that i tried to contact her about it but had no luck...
What is going on coz i told her sis i'm down for my woman & really do want to be with her but i don't know what games they playing.....any ideas ppl?

Hmm...
I guess the ball is in her court for the moment...
She's pregnant and doesn't want your support, emotionally or financially??
You could try harder to have a conversation with her.
Perhaps you both need some counselling to get over the "differences" you two had?
At the very least, let her know you are willing to be there for the baby (if she's going to carry it through), and that you wish to be an involved parent...
Perhaps she has "moved on" from you and will adopt the baby out??
Still you need to have a conversation with the babymomma...

Good luck

I could have a talk but she's being immature about all this & not dealing with it like an adult. She's 23.
As for the baby being up for adoption that is not an option.
How do you have a talk with someone about it when theyre not being mature enough to talk to u?
Raising a child alone is not a norm & her family dont believe in such...

Why do you believe her?


Stress and fear compel people to do, or not do, things all the time.

Are you under the illusion that once someone turns 18 by some magic they are no longer motivated to exhibit the same behavior as a 6 year old?

"Oh no I broke a lamp and I think mommy might be mad. Better hide the lamp and kinda avoid mommy so I won't get into trouble or have to deal with (or increase) my stress and fear."

"Oh no, I feel I have no control over something. I know, let's go to the internet (a controlled environment) herd and snuggle up to validate my feelings."


Sure! I can speculate tons! It's fun!
Let's see:
- She's pregnant by some other guy, maybe that your ex slept with while you were dating and that's what drove the arguments or "differences" or whatever that lead to your breaking up.

- Her sister is a POS that likes to start trouble and manipulate others. Maybe her sister is just all "just talk to him, you whine about losing him all the time, just talk to him," she doesn't, so the sister contacts you and gives you a compelling reason to keep pursuing. Can't get her sister to do something, so why not try to get you to do something.

- Her sister is a POS that is mad at her for something petty and for revenge contacted you and lied so you'll bug her.

- She really has absolutely no desire to have anything to do with you. It's over. Done and done. And her behavior is simply consistent with that belief.

- She's scared, she's trying to deal with it alone, doesn't want to appear weak, or stupid for getting pregnant, or something, and is either trying to ignore the problems so they'll go away, or try to find something small she can control in order to feel control over her life again. Not contacting you is her controlling something.

- It's a monster baby and whispering in her head not to talk to you as it plans world domination.

- Her sister is your Tyler Durdan. She doesn't really exist except in your head. And she told you your ex was pregnant to motivate you to go after what you want.

- She already had an abortion. Her sister didn't want to tell you that, so she just said she was pregnant to get you involved in the situation.

- Her sister is a tattoo freak. She wanted you to rush over and pound on the doors demanding to talk so she could shoot you as a scary intruder and get away with murder. Then she's legally allowed to have a teardrop tattoo done under the corner of her eye.

- Your ex has been on vacation and has been ignoring her phone.

- She's waiting for the Jerry Springer people to call back.

- Your ex lied to your sister. Lots of women use "I'm pregnant!" as some kind of weapon.


Her not bowing to your desire to talk to her doesn't necessarily mean she's not acting like an adult or being immature.

For all I know for the past week she's exploring all of her options and coming to a decision regarding what she wants to do, and will then talk to you in order to tell you what her decision is.


Families can be adaptable, especially when faced with a reality rather than a vague concept.

Whatever differences there might be, when an important issue is concerned like an unborn child etc its always best to communicate & solve it.. regardless of what complications there might be they can be put aside & solved

And she got pregnant while she was with me

I'm sorry you are going through this Romeo

Is there anyway you can ease yourself into your girlfriend's sister's good graces?

If you can build more of a rapport with her and keep asking about the health of the baby and your girl in general , maybe you can ask the sister to put in a good word for you eventually?

And then hopefully , she can convey all of that to your girlfriend and put in a good word for you.

I admit that it puts the sister in an uncomfortable position because its usually better for people to stay out of domestic situations between others, but it may be a last resort at this point.

I am already in her sisters good graces from way back & when the sis informed me about her pregnancy she wanted to speak to me as in to call her but i didn't

if this is a real situation
I would say man up
and go talk to your woman

Well you answered your own question... You know what you need to do

Well first I think I would contact the EX and find out if it is true.

Then second thing I would do is ask for DNA testing when the child is born.


Then third if you can't resolve the issues then make sure you make financial arrangements to take care of the child and then plan on being in that childs life for the rest of your life.

Good luck I think you are gonna need it

Put simply, you're ****ed (excuse my french)
So sorry to have to be the one to tell you but I guess someone has to be real with you.
You can soon expect to be summoned at Court for paternity so they can slap Child Support and Alimony on you for the next 18 years because you were "bad" and gave a woman a child "you're not willing to take care of yourself".
You are now a "deadbeat". Even if you pay the C.S every month she will find an excuse to drag your name through the mud (and even if you are willing they will not let you take care of the baby because you're a man and "everyone" knows men can't take care of children and because they want your money - part of your C.S will go to the state's coffers)
The only way you'll be able to see your child is if your ex-g/f allows it and goes against Court-ordered No Contact Order and let you spend some quality time with HER child.
Expect more than half your paycheck to go straight to the State, to be divided between your ex and the other vultures.
If you introduce any action through the Courts on yours and child's behalf (Child Support too high and not going to your child but to her makeup and general luxury up-keeping , Alimony not commensurate to the time you two spent together and what she actually did for both of you while together, can't see your child without a fight with all her side of the family...) expect to go broke on lawyers for results you would've gotten without them.
There are much graver situations that can arise out of your situation, including physical violence on your person by her or anyone of her side of the family ( and of course you'd be the one arrested for it) to your possible death (depending on how crazy the situation may get.

So I just wanted to give you serious a heads up to prepare you for any and all eventualities since we know how most 'love' stories between Men and Women end up terminating.
Enough to give you cold sweats in your single's bed...

Advice?
I have none for you except maybe to tell you to ply to all of hers and the Court's requests if you don't want to end up in jail with the rest of your life in the trash. Lay low, do what's asked of you ( even if you have to live in a cardboard box and have to hear how 'bad' you are everyday) and try to prepare and hope for a brighter future when your child is no longer held hostage by the Courts, when she/he is old enough to understand what happened and that you didn't abandon him/her.

Good luck to you. Sincerely.

Thanks a lot for your feedback all. I really appreciate it

You're welcome
I'm always here if you need more feedback