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| Topic: .. who goes first you or your spouse | |
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Macabre happens to be somewhat in my wheelhouse. Since I plan on being cremated, there won't be anyone standing over a coffin. Although I'll hope either one of my friends, or a family member will scatter my ashes as I have instructed in my will. Erm.. they don't just chuck you in an oven the minute you've let out your last breath ya know... They bathe and dress you, put you in a coffin, and your family can still stand over it to say goodbye... Then they close the coffin, there's a service, you are there inside the coffin, there's flowers on top of it etc... Then there's the oven part... Scattering ashes is not for the faint of heart by the way... We had the choice last year when my dad passed away. We chose not to do it. It can be extremely traumatic... it's not just ashes ya know... ANd for you family it can feel they're throwing you away. Which is what they are doing... literally My bro in law went through that with his dad. He was perfectly fine about him passing, right up till the moment he basically threw his dad away... I'd never want my beloved / family to have to go through that. |
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As for the question... I don't know. I see in my stepmom how much strength it takes to survive the one you love and have been with for decades. She's doing a really great job, but dang is it hard!
I'm glad we don't have a say in it. I wouldn't want the choice. I love life, so I doubt I'd wanna die, but the thought of losing the man I love... I'm fine without that choice. Our Souls have decided when we pass anyways. I trust in that. |
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Macabre happens to be somewhat in my wheelhouse. Since I plan on being cremated, there won't be anyone standing over a coffin. Although I'll hope either one of my friends, or a family member will scatter my ashes as I have instructed in my will. Erm.. they don't just chuck you in an oven the minute you've let out your last breath ya know... They bathe and dress you, put you in a coffin, and your family can still stand over it to say goodbye... Then they close the coffin, there's a service, you are there inside the coffin, there's flowers on top of it etc... Then there's the oven part... Scattering ashes is not for the faint of heart by the way... We had the choice last year when my dad passed away. We chose not to do it. It can be extremely traumatic... it's not just ashes ya know... ANd for you family it can feel they're throwing you away. Which is what they are doing... literally My bro in law went through that with his dad. He was perfectly fine about him passing, right up till the moment he basically threw his dad away... I'd never want my beloved / family to have to go through that. I don't know if you have them in Holland but I would imagine you do, but in the UK you can buy a small plot in a cemetery. It's like half a grave I suppose and it's for people who are cremated. Here you can put up to 6 sets of ashes in the one plot so you can be with your family. You can put a headstone on and it's just like a normal grave but about half the size. I understand your bro in law, I'd need somewhere to go to feel close to them. Not sure you could do that if they were scattered. |
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He goes first
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Edited by
SparklingCrystal 💖💎
on
Thu 04/06/17 02:11 PM
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Macabre happens to be somewhat in my wheelhouse. Since I plan on being cremated, there won't be anyone standing over a coffin. Although I'll hope either one of my friends, or a family member will scatter my ashes as I have instructed in my will. Erm.. they don't just chuck you in an oven the minute you've let out your last breath ya know... They bathe and dress you, put you in a coffin, and your family can still stand over it to say goodbye... Then they close the coffin, there's a service, you are there inside the coffin, there's flowers on top of it etc... Then there's the oven part... Scattering ashes is not for the faint of heart by the way... We had the choice last year when my dad passed away. We chose not to do it. It can be extremely traumatic... it's not just ashes ya know... ANd for you family it can feel they're throwing you away. Which is what they are doing... literally My bro in law went through that with his dad. He was perfectly fine about him passing, right up till the moment he basically threw his dad away... I'd never want my beloved / family to have to go through that. I don't know if you have them in Holland but I would imagine you do, but in the UK you can buy a small plot in a cemetery. It's like half a grave I suppose and it's for people who are cremated. Here you can put up to 6 sets of ashes in the one plot so you can be with your family. You can put a headstone on and it's just like a normal grave but about half the size. I understand your bro in law, I'd need somewhere to go to feel close to them. Not sure you could do that if they were scattered. Yeah, I know about that option in the UK, as my ex's mom chose that (my ex was British). I think it's totally beautiful! Like you said, still somewhere to go if you feel the need. Over here I don't think we have that option anywhere. We do have these urn galleries which I find horrible. We chose to have my dad's last resting place in the woods, a part of it where they always do that, so it's not just him. We know which woods, but we don't know where in the woods. I suppose it's a private area where ppl cannot enter, but not entirely sure... I prefer the English option. If we had that, I'd definitely put that in my will. |
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when my mother died she was placed in grandma and grandpa's burial plot.
same thing happened with my dad..he was cremated and put with his parents now my nieces and nephews are going thru process of finding out if this is possible to do with my brother who passed at Christmas and was cremated have you seen these biodegradable pods that you put ashes in and a tree grows from it? |
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