Topic: another Joke
Apple of Your EYES's photo
Tue 06/07/22 05:09 PM
In a company: A man standing on the floor, not doing any work and looking aimlessly......

CEO of that company came and asked his salary...

Man replied "5000 sir"

CEO took out his wallet and gave 15000 and told him...

"I pay people here to work and not to waste time, This is your 3 months salary.
Now get out of here. Never come back"

That guy left.............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then CEO asked workers "Who was that guy?"

Workers replied "Pizza delivery Boy Sir"..
:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
:joy:
:innocent:
:laughing:
:smiley:
:sweat_smile:
:joy:

Moral:Dont overreact in every situation...!!

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Fri 06/10/22 10:52 PM
In a company: A man standing on the floor, not doing any work and looking aimlessly......

CEO of that company came and asked his salary...

Man replied "5000 sir"

CEO took out his wallet and gave 15000 and told him...

"I pay people here to work and not to waste time, This is your 3 months salary.
Now get out of here. Never come back"

That guy left.............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Then CEO asked workers "Who was that guy?"

Workers replied "Pizza delivery Boy Sir"..
:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
:joy:
:innocent:
:laughing:
:smiley:
:sweat_smile:
:joy:

Moral:Dont overreact in every situation...!!

F:grin:U:grin:N:grin:N:grin:Y

JulieABush's photo
Sat 06/11/22 04:22 PM
Did you hear how Cap’N Crunch died?
Yeah, it was a cereal killer.

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Sun 06/12/22 12:14 AM
Did you hear how Cap’N Crunch died?
Yeah, it was a cereal killer.

Good One @Julie.....:grin::grin::grin:

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Sun 06/12/22 12:26 AM
New Teacher joined in the school.:blush:

Teacher : Students tell your names and hobbies....

1st Boy : My name is Tom. My hobby is watching moon.

2nd Boy : My name is Ricky and my hobby is watching moon.

3rd Boy : My name is Mike and hobby is watching moon.

Teacher : Wow good good :clap:
Everyones hobbies are same....Ok.....
Now girls turn.....

1st Girl : Hello Mam. My name is Moon.........

Teacher shocked... :flushed:

Boys rocked... :laughing::laughing::laughing:
:grin::grin::grin:

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Mon 06/13/22 12:26 AM
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "good morning, Father, good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store & bought even more
outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them.
Once again the two priests settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a string, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.
Again, she nodded at each of them, said "good morning, Father" and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said. "Just a minute young lady.
"Yes?" she replied.
"We are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests dressed as we are?"
GUESS WHAT SHE SAID …HA HA HA HA
The blonde turned around and replied, "Father, it's me, Sister Angela!"

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Mon 06/13/22 12:26 AM
Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.
They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "good morning, Father, good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.
They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store & bought even more
outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them.
Once again the two priests settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde, wearing a string, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.
Again, she nodded at each of them, said "good morning, Father" and started to walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said. "Just a minute young lady.
"Yes?" she replied.
"We are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests dressed as we are?"
GUESS WHAT SHE SAID …HA HA HA HA
The blonde turned around and replied, "Father, it's me, Sister Angela!"

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Mon 06/13/22 12:47 AM
F:grin:U:grin:N:grin:N:grin:Y

These suit's really for forum fathers :wink:

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Mon 06/13/22 01:18 AM
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.

The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter."🤣🤣🤣

JulieABush's photo
Mon 06/13/22 02:07 PM
Funnylaugh .

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Wed 06/15/22 12:26 AM
A nun, desperately needing to use the restroom, walked into a local bar.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and occasionally, the lights would go out. Each time this happened, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?”
The bartender replied, “Okay, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”
“Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun.
So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the bar.
After a few minutes, as the lights went out again and the nun came back out, the whole place stopped to give the nun a loud, enthusiastic round of applause.
She went to the bartender and said, “Sir, I don’t understand. Why did they applaud me just because I went to the restroom?”
“Well, now they know you’re one of us,” said the bartender. “Would you like a drink?”
“No thank you, but I still don’t understand,” said the puzzled nun.
“You see,” laughed the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out.” :stuck_out_tongue:

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Wed 06/15/22 12:45 AM
F:laughing:U:laughing:N:laughing:N:laughing:Y


Apple of Your EYES's photo
Wed 06/15/22 09:14 AM
Drama this Morning:

My wife and I were having a serious quarrel when I said to her..."pack your things and ....."At that point, her phone rang, so I had to stop for her to receive the call. It was her dad. The phone was on speaker so I could hear what he was saying. After the usual pleasantries between father and daughter, he said:"my daughter, I have transferred $1,000,000 into your account, give your husband $500,000 out of it, and you can have the other half." Am sending one of the parked cars to u and ur husband for family use. After the good-byes, the call ended, and she turned to me:"you said I should pack my things and do what?""I SAID PACK YOUR THINGS AND GIVE THEM TO ME TO WASH.". I will iron them when light comes back.
:grinning::grinning::grinning::grinning:

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Wed 06/15/22 11:30 PM
Drama this Morning:

My wife and I were having a serious quarrel when I said to her..."pack your things and ....."At that point, her phone rang, so I had to stop for her to receive the call. It was her dad. The phone was on speaker so I could hear what he was saying. After the usual pleasantries between father and daughter, he said:"my daughter, I have transferred $1,000,000 into your account, give your husband $500,000 out of it, and you can have the other half." Am sending one of the parked cars to u and ur husband for family use. After the good-byes, the call ended, and she turned to me:"you said I should pack my things and do what?""I SAID PACK YOUR THINGS AND GIVE THEM TO ME TO WASH.". I will iron them when light comes back.
:grinning::grinning::grinning::grinning:

F:grin:U:grin:N:grin:N:grin:Y

Wish i was married :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Thu 06/16/22 07:25 AM
start here Raj,enjoy buddy

no photo
Wed 06/22/22 05:43 AM
At a wine merchant, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard, with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position.
The director of the winery wondered how to send him away.

He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said:
"It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable”.

"That's correct”, said the boss.

Another glass:

"It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results”.
"Correct”.

A third glass:

''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive”, calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.

The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and - if I don't get the job - I'll name the father”.

nice one:smile:

Apple of Your EYES's photo
Sun 06/26/22 07:57 AM
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things. The grandad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and she hears the grandad calmly say : "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Grandad says again in a controlled voice : "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says : "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandad." "Thanks," says the grandpa. "But I am William. The little bastard's name is Kevin."🤣

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Sun 06/26/22 08:09 AM
F:grin:U:grin:N:grin:N:grin:Y

So after reaching home Kevin will have calm clamly caresses from grndpa hands :wave:🤛🤜:punch::fist:

JulieABush's photo
Mon 06/27/22 01:38 PM
Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all Ten Commandments at once.

 Ꮢ Ꭷ Ᏸ ɨ Ꮑ's photo
Mon 06/27/22 01:41 PM
Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
Moses. He broke all Ten Commandments at once.

Good One :slight_smile: