First off: My first foray into this didn't go so well and I think the "don't make new threads when you change your profile" rule played a part because people didn't seem to be aware when I basically said "ok, that question is over, here's a new one." Since that thread has been locked I'm in the clear making but if I was supposed to understand that locking that thread meant I was kicked out of the rate my profile area, my apologies. I know this thread can be locked just as easily and I won't make a third.


If I could permanently edit posts I'd handle this easily because I could just stick things right at the front.
But hey, the rules are the rules and I'm sure there's good reason for them.


So here I'm welcoming people to say mean things about how I've written my profile. Just to be clear this is not an invitation to say awful things about me, only my writing.

-I already to plan to change the headline and will announce when I have.

So things I really want to hear about:
A lot of people think I look much younger than 23 and it's been suggested that I provide some more mature looking pictures. The problem is that I haven't been able to figure out what makes me look young. Can anyone describe what looks young about my face/photos?



Some people that the messages I send might suck but in accordance with the rules I can't post anything from the private message system. I may find someone hundreds of miles away from me and write a sample pm that I don't actually send to get around that(?)

I think I'm supposed to say something about what kind of girl I'm looking for in my profile.

I think this lacks direction and isn't the right tone for a profile. Do people agree and if so can anyone show me how to frame it in a way that works?

And one question that only needs to be answered by one or two people: do I need to post to tell people about when I take someone's advice and/or change my profile?

And a short list of things (haha) I do not want people to tell me:
Get off of dating sites and find girls in the real world (I'm already trying and I do most of my posting here during my daily train rides when I couldn't effectively be meeting people anyway.)
Think positive (I already do. I just don't see any reason to share most of it here.)
Be patient (I've been patient and I'm 23 and nowhere. I'm changing something now whether people will help me or not.)
We're not going to write your profile for you (I don't want people to. What I want is for people to not just tell me what's wrong but why, and maybe how I can keep myself from repeating the mistake, in a way other than thinking positive because that doesn't seem to translate into my writing. With the type of girl I'm looking for I may not have left enough room for anything else so that one could be tricky- I'll try to be flexible.)
You're relentless (Of course I am.)
Don't be so rude (the caveat here being if you are willing to teach me what makes lists like this rude ((I'm only assuming this is based on what I've seen here but I don't understand what people meant most of the time,)) or otherwise go into detail.)

The purpose of this list is to allow me to be much more upbeat here (if still a bit stiff.) Hopefully I can avoid most of what people thought was rude.

Now, if anyone would like to be nice and avoid stepping on my toes there's really just one thing you need to do before you post. If you quote me and I typed anything ending with a question mark make sure you say something about that or take it out of the quote. It seems incredibly rude to me that people here never answer my questions but I seem to have a mixed up view of what "rude" means- nonetheless I ask that people show a little respect and I will try to do the same. I'll even avoid the "act angry to illustrate when people are being difficult" thing as much as I can.

Too much text to wade through or have I just alienated everyone?

Come on, I'm going to try to be nice this time~

First...if you look young ( which you do ) you look young. It's just genetics and there isn't much you can do about it. Trying to post " more mature " pics would probably backfire because you wouldn't be being yourself.

Second...most of the people who posted in the previous thread weren't deliberately being " mean ". You asked for advice and even though you didn't particularly care for the tone that you perceived, you got the advice you sought.

This part....

QUOTE:

The ideal relationship is one where I have someone to not just talk to but with. Sarcasm and not being easily offended are probably the main requirements there.
I'd like someone more excited about the activities available here and will help me get out and do more of it. This one I don't have any idea how I can ask for without ruining the impression of me in the profile but I figure it would work better later in conversation if I could get people to talk with me for awhile. A partner in crime/adventure also works because I know plenty of things that are enjoyable with someone else that enjoys that sort of mischief.
I'm not looking for someone especially clingy. I'm for women's rights and while I don't want to have anything to do with someone who is going to war with anything that is symbolically female I'm not turned on by the idea of having a house slave that lives to dote on me. Moderation is the key here.

With sex I would probably be easily seduced but I'm looking for a long term relationship and sex there will happen if it happens. So it's not my goal but it's a plus.

....just seems a bit stiff. There really isn't a need for mentioning " women's rights " because they are gonna take/have them whether you are for or against...lol

try this..." I'm looking for someone who knows the balance between being independent and being caring and loving. "

The first line is good. The next...not so much. That's kinda stiff.

Try something like this...." Sarcasm is good. Being overly Politically Correct or easily offended...not good. "

The " partner in crime " thing could lead a lot of different ways. Some may think you want someone who doesn't have a lot of issues with doing something criminal.

These are the best suggestions I have for you. The lines I wrote were only directional ideas that you can take to make your profile a little more appealing.

I like baloons....

You sound complicated. woman like simple. with money, and a nice car. bet you drive an old VW, Hows that?

Balloons? NEAT!!

you can look older, just join the marines and experience war,one of my lance corporals was almost out,he had about 3 months left,anyways he had been deployed 2 times and he asked me how old does he look,i say around 37-40 years old.He was shocked! he said he was 22 years old! yet he looked like he was in his late 30`s he said that this is what war does to you.

Of course it's stiff, I wrote it for the other thread :p

I don't know about using ellipses though, I thought they make writing look like you're not sure of yourself. Sort of like saying "uhhhh" every other sentence.

-

Come on, you know how hard I am on myself by now. I'll practice any "that's not the real you" thing I try to do until I think it not only doesn't look fake but isn't fake. It takes awhile but I do change my habits as time marches on.

Naw, it's a little Japanese car I'll have to vacuum out if I ever do actually get a date.

LOL. yeah, I know it was written for the other thread.

But the advice is sound. You gotta loosen up a bit.

And yes. I definitely know how hard you are on yourself. That's one of the things that makes you sound stiff.

You seem to want your profile to be worded perfectly. But the thing is, for a profile to grab a woman's attention, chances are that it doesn't really need to be worded perfectly. It just needs to contain more info than the generic " I don't know what to write here " profiles that they see all day every day.



Perhaps. But then again, it could just be showing a continuing thought process.

Either way, the best thing you can do is not overthink what you put in your profile.

I care about the tone and there's no "perfect" tone, just good ones.

I guess for writing tone what I should have said from the start was "tell me something I don't know" :\


Acting like that doesn't help anyone. If you're going to keep holding a grudge please leave.

Shoku,

You have been voted out by tribal counsel... please bring me your torch!

:O
I demand a recount!

You look confident

Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

Shoku, are trying to be obtuse? Lighten up, loosen up, and stop trying so hard. You don't have the greatest social skills. Consider chatting in the forums and learn to flirt, smile, joke and laugh.

I think the other thread was locked because it was no longer prolific. The topic was dead and going no where. Most topics in the Rate Me forum go 2 or 3 pages at the most.

So far, you are back in the same rut as last time.

Good luck.

How rude. You act like those 141 pots under my name all came from the last thread.

But I'm setting a different tone in here so please say something constructive instead of belittling my social skills~

I am not rude. I am straight forward. There is a difference. Just because you don't hear what you what to hear does not mean a person is rude. Besides, why would you act surprised if someone was mean? You used that as your headline for this topic!

I already gave you profile advice the very first time I posted in your thread. Go back and read my first reply -- as well as the advice given by a few other members. Never take just one piece of advice. Consider a few options and tool them to work for you.

No one is out to get you but you are being a little dense.

ETA: I just gave your profile a quick look again.

You should correct the format you used for the "Interest" section. The system is designed to use one-word descriptors and you used a sentence-like phrase for one. The system can't find you a match based on a phrase. As per the profile edit suggestion, use one-word topics like "yoga", "wine", "camping", "comedy" etc. Consider using "ocean" instead of " swimming at the beach (or building sand castles can be fun too)". Add "swimming" and maybe "sand castles" instead of running that whole string together. As I said, the system cannot match that phrase.

When you are in profile view, you can click your own interests and the system will generate profiles with the same topics for you to view.

As far as your profile, it's OK I guess.

As already suggested, you should delete the sentence stating you don't know why you are studying biology. It makes you seem passive and without passion.

Delete this entire part because it's arrogant and you will alienate your viewers: "Genius? No. Well probably not. I could have been but I had a nasty combination of talentless teachers and family troubles so I only turned out above average. If people don't encourage me I just end up looking like I know how to use proper English (whom should I something something...)"

You seem very intelligent but also very immature/naive. You will grow out of one and parlay the other as you become older. So, relax and learn about life. I still think you need to loosen up -- a lot!

Now ... either use this or don't but shut up already! I'm just kidding -- don't be so sensitive.

You claim to be goofy and a bit odd. Show us your fun side before someone gives you a wedgie!

I like ballons too!!

I think u need some B Vitamins (B-1,B-2,etc,etc)......