This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!! Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Customer: A white one... ======Customer: Hi, this is Celine .. I can't get my diskette out.Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.Customer: No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry... ===============Tech support: ; Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.Customer: Your left or my left? ===============Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?Male customer: Hello... I can't print.Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and....Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.. ===============Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it. ============== Customer: I have problems printing in red..Tech support: Do you have a color printer?Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you. ===============Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. ===============Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.Customer: ! OKTech support: Did the keyboard come with you?Customer: YesTech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work.. =============Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ? ===============Customer: I can't get on the Internet.Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?Customer: Five dots. ===============Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer. ===============Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. ===============Tech support: How may I help you?Customer: I'm writing my first email.Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? ===============A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.Tech support: Are you running it under windows?Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' ===============And last but not least....
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'Customer: I don't have a P.Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.Customer: What do you mean?Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!!!