Jesus only gave us one commandment: "Love one another, Love as I have loved. This is how everyone will know that you are my disciples." - John 13:34 (and 15:12).

Yet very few people seem to go on to ask the obvious question: "OK. Well then in terms of romantic relationships. How would I love if I were to love as Jesus loved?"

And what rules of relationship would I follow? Would they be closer to the rules of friendship or of marriage, or something else?

What would your answers be to these questions?

One loves another as Jesus loved us in one simple way. Giving your life over to the one you love. Living for him/her instead of doing selfish things.

Jesus gave his life for us because he loved us so much, would you do the same for your spouse? Would you go through that form of torment so you could be with your spouse? You would need to answer yes, if you are loving another as Jesus loved us.

And even besides that, Jesus' life was given to doing miracles and spreading the word of God. Teaching us, so we could possibly receive the gift of eternal life. He didn't live for himself. Could you totally live for your spouse ensuring his/her happiness before yours your entire life? Not meaning a time here or a time there, I mean your entire life with him/her.

That was a very good answer.

I dont think Jesus lived for my happiness

His purpose was to fulfill the Law and please God,, not me

I think to love like him would mean to want and try to fascilitate a closer relationship with God for myself and my spouse,,,

I agree with Cowboy GH, but I would have to add that God comes first. My christian husband had issues with me obeying God before him ie as in training in another city.

Jesus always loved God first and would not allow those who did not do the same to be his disciples.

unconditionally

unconditional love in ANY relationship

this too, real love is unconditional,,,

I still love my sons father, although we could not make a life together

anyone I ever loved, I still love

On this side of eternity I am not sure we are capable of loving as Jesus does. His love for us is a holy, perfect love. We can only die to ourselves more and allow Him to consume us. When the divine Person has taken over then His love overflows from us.

Would we still want to marry, or serve completly, unburdened by a spouse?

No his purpose wasn't to please you or me, this is true. But he lived and died to make you happy. Make you happy as in giving you a way to achieve eternal life through him. Connecting mankind to God the father once again, which had been separated through sin.

Well I am wondering where you are at International man. I was looking forward to an actual discussion on this subject.

disregard this message that was put here. Had a blonde moment.

*hides back behind shelf and shuts up*

At least you know where you should be Coweringboy!! Hiding from the wrath of females. When we get cursed, it affects the whole of mankind!

Hi Guys.

Sorry. I've been flat out in the last month or so, so I haven't been able to come back to the discussion till now. I'll try to come back more regularly this time.

Thanks for your replies and thoughts.

I liked LadyLid's and MsHarmony's answers and example of unconditional love. Certainly, I feel unconditional love is the core of Christ's love.

However, no-one answered the question "If we were to love romantically as Jesus loved us, what rules of relationship would we follow? Would they be closer to the rules of friendship or of marriage, or something else?"

i.e. If we are to love unconditionally (i.e. without conditions) then would the rules of our love be closer to the rules of friendship or of marriage?

I also felt that some of the answers (particularly Cowboy's) were very lofty pious ones - suggesting you should love others even more than you love yourself (which is beyond what Jesus asked of us - which was to love others as we love ourselves--which includes giving some strong attention to loving oneself.)

And Ladywind said that she's not sure we are capable of loving as Jesus did. Certainly this is a very common belief, and your view would be supported by maybe 95% of Christians. However, if you believe this, when when Jesus said that his one commandment is to love as he loved - do you think he was exaggerating / lying / teasing us / or setting us up for failure? Or did he mean that we should love as he LOVED (while alive - i.e. an unconditional acceptance of everyone)as distinct from loving as he now loves (i.e. a cosmic, spiritual, God-like love)? And if so, why do so few people really focus on trying to live this out? (e.g. How many Christians do you know who have spent time trying to determine how they might love romantically as Jesus loved?)

I also noticed that many answers jumped straight to considering marriage (even though Mingle.com is primarily a dating site). Is this an example of trying to be religiously correct?

I guess a core part of my question might be phrased along the lines of...

"Imagine some really cool, loving, happy, God-connected, gorgeous guy or girl was walking around in complete connection with God and loving everyone unconditionally. Imagine that s/he didn't worry too much about what all the religious people say we should be doing. That s/he was quite happy to hang around prostitutes, to drink, to smoke dope, to have a great time with everyone - without any judgement. And that everyone s/he was with felt great in her/his company. And let’s assume that s/he isn't celibate and doesn't worry about, talk about, or have any issues with making love before marriage. In fact lets assume this cool guy/girl has written four books about living well - and that they pretty much all focus on loving everyone unconditionally and with complete acceptance - and that the only thing s/he says against any type of sex is that if you've pledged to be faithful to your wife or husband that you should be.

Then how might this really cool, loving, happy, God-connected, gorgeous guy or girl love romantically?

Would s/he only make love to one person? Would s/he focus her/his (non-physical) love on only one person? Would s/he worry a lot about getting some pastor or government official to sign a piece of paper declaring that s/he loves someone for the rest of her/his life? Would s/he make a big distinction between expressing love generally... / in a deep, personal, connected, but non-physical way... / or intimately in a physical way? Or would her/his love be expressed to the maximum degree - in whatever way brings most joy and connection and bliss and healing and oneness to whoever s/he is with?

What are your answers - to the questions in the previous paragraph, and the other questions interspersed through this post?

I look forward to hearing more from those who have already answered... and hopefully other newcomers to the forum as well. :)

Way too many questions to answer. The one I will answer is the 'cool' loving couple should reallise they are an example to all they minister to by their lives. Their lives need to fully line up with the Bible and law of the land. They should get married.

what makes you think that He was less than a MAN?

Conrad - Sorry, I don't understand. what makes you think that I believe Jesus was less than a man?

I appreciate that your answer is a typical Christian answer.

Indeed, if we love as Christ loved then all of our actions and our entire being is centred on being loving. And this serves as a wonderful example to all that we minister to and to all who come across us.

The important question is whether we focus on being unconditionally loving, or on looking like a good christian (in the same way that the Pharisees were more concerned about looking like good religious people).

I don't see Christ in the Gospels being too worried about how religious people viewed him. Why would I then follow the Pharisees on this?

Nor would I want to focus more on the other aspects of the Bible more than on Christ's teachings.

Christ said in Matthew 5.7-10: You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said:
“‘This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
In vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’”

And he called the people to him and said to them, “Hear and understand: it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

So if Christ spoke primarily of love, and little of other parts of the Bible that I presume you might now be thinking about - then I want to follow His teachings, more than the commandments of men now taught as doctrine.

Why do you go straight to "they should get married" when Christ never said this?

And why do you not bother to answer the questions I put? (And to do so in reference to Christ's teachings instead of other doctrine.)

(Please don't take this as an attack. I appreciate your time and involvement in trying to represent Christ's word. And, I consider it very important to love as Christ loved, so if we go straight to quoting non-Christ teachings and ignore looking at how He loved - and applying that to our own lives - then I think we're really missing something extremely important.)

Your post is a typical, condescending post. A person can justify anything they want to & use the Word of God to support whatever sin they wish to justify. I will be praying that you see how misguided you are & if you seek the truth, it is plainly written.