Society falls into two categories: open and closed hearts. Now, we all want the same things in life: to be loved, accepted and respected for who we are. So with all these things recognized as the truth, here comes my query...

Why are so many of us if we do want these very things ultimately remain closed and scared of letting something so dear, so simple into our hearts? What's life without risk? Taking chances in anything that we do... a job or career, speaking up on things we care about, trying new things? Everything in life is a risk. One decision after another. Some bigger than others. Granted its inevitable, getting hurt or discouraged. Have you ever lost a job to somebody else? Turned in a project and received a less than stellar grade? Attempted something you never liked before and failed? Played a sport but you ended up losing the game? Failure isn't the enemy. Our minds are.

Relationships take patience, honesty and two people willing to want to be together through everything. In any open risk, there is a huge chance it'll happen, the heartbreak. We know how this feels. And when it does, we view it as "life or death." We find it hard to move on, to completely trust again. We grew suspicious and view every person of the opposite sex will treat us the same as the ones who hurt us. The truth of it is people are flawed. We make mistakes.

Love shouldn't be scary, but it is. It will always be as long as there are people who hide in fear of it.

i prefer legs open

this is beautiful

I would say, my biggest obstacle isnt FEAR, its knowledge and self awareness

I am not closed to 'love', I am just more honest with myself about what it entails and what it means to me

I see the world as much more interested in LUST than ever in my life, and I know that is not what I Want, so it makes my choices slim (Especially at my age with my family situation)

I dont want to want more from someone else, than I Can bring and I know it will be a while before I Can 'bring' it

I know love is work, and I dont want casual sex without marriage, I also know I dont want to marry someone who doesnt take that partnership as the priority in their life

these bits of knowledge from experience, make me less likely to just SETTLE for the sake of trying to have love,, I have enough love in my life with my own family

and I also dont want anyone else to waste the investment of time, energy, and emotion if I know upfront we are not wanting the same thing,, or even if I Can sense it,,,

I've been married and divorced twice because both of my wives had affairs on me. So I don't even want to go through that again.

hugs. Broken hearts can heal.

Nice post Mariah.

I am open to almost anything.
However.......
Life has taught me.......

The door closes quickly as people show traits I find.....

Unacceptable!!!!

So.......

It is what it is!!!

I am flattered.

A very thoughtful post, Mariah. I find Fear plays a big part, but it's not necessarily fear of the negative that stands in my way, it's fear of being successful. Strange...

Well, that would make it easier for a woman to kick you.

I am trying to be more open.

i am very flattering

You have that look about you. :)

I think people fall into two catagories myself. Sure people are open to love. Watch teenagers. They fall in love so quick, so fast, and they do so without much thought. You remember how your first love was right? Exciting, you have these strange feelings, you hold hands, neck, kiss, and you just this unbiased belief that all will work. Even when a breakup occurs, you still have this unwavering faith that you will find love again.

Then, you grow up, and in your twenties or maybe even thirties, you fall in love. Oh you think this person is "The One" and you put your whole heart into it. Only, in the end, you end up burned. And when this happens, by this time, society has influenced you. "Love is a sham", or "Love hurts so why deal with this pain", or "Look what happened when you gave your all and they didn't reciprocate". So to this, I feel that people start off so open to love, but when bad things happen they influence us (either in a positive way or negative way). Open....but then...you close. Build those walls. It's safer to stay hidden than to risk the hurt.

The other catagory I have is the "Believers". Sure. They experience the same heartache and pain. But they have this unwavering faith that one day...one day....it will work out. Now, in religion, faith is a belief in something that you cannot see, nor you cannot prove. Faith requires hope, patience, and above all else, it requires you to not lose your belief. That is asking a lot in this day and age, especially seeing as how we live in the "gotta have it five seconds ago" world. People don't put in the effort anymore. Not like they used to. And I honestly believe this is why we have so many people who just don't give a **** about being in love. That may sound harsh, but look around you. Even people who are married are unhappy. The reasons are many, and I won't go into them. But truth is, when things get tough for a couple, one (or both) wants out. That or they stay together cause they have kids, or just don't want to spend money on a divorce.

Anyways, went off topic there. But yeah....I feel most people want love like they see in films. But in reality, to have that, you gotta invest. And in this day and age, that is becoming a rare thing.

Love isn't scary. But you are right, if someone thinks love is scary, they are keeping themselves closed off to it for whatever their reason is. Until they figure out exactly what the issue is and get past it, they're always going to come off as being a closed person.

My definition of a closed heart: never taking chances, judging a person automatically before meeting them.

What if you can't find someone to take a chance with?

Take hostages?


I don't think love is scary at all. I just don't think most people really know what they are looking for, and when they do find it, have no idea what to do with it, so end up abandoning it by over complicating it.

I think after so long, it's just something you 'accept'. It's scary,because it can be such a powerful thing. I don't think it's so much that we grow suspicious, I think it's that we're afraid that someone will take advantage of the love, or that it will not be returned. It's a bad feeling to be with someone and feel alone.

To live is to dare. Our lives are built from a detailed web of
small successes and small failures. To fail in various endeavors
in life is inevitable.

However, we can respond to setbacks in any way we choose.
We can dare again. There is nothing stopping us.
Joy and happiness are ours for the taking. Every day.