When your 13 year old daughter comes home and tells you she's ready to get on the birth control pill, do you consent?

Why or why not?

probably not, but there is no absolute answer

13 is too young to be engaging in sex, I think a long talk would be in order

it would be important to me to stress respect for herself and her future

for her to see the squalor people live in who have had children too young, and those who are dying from disease that a 'pill' cant prevent,,,

well that is kind of young......I raised 2 daughters on my own & never had that problem at that age...... now my girls are 22 & 38 I'm happy to say I'm not a grandma yet!!!

I AGREE!!!

Ask the daughter which sexually-transmitted disease that she is trying to get.

That is like a trick question! 13 is way to young to have sex but these days even IF you tell them not to have sex...they will any way. So you have to decide do you want to put them on the pill or do you want a grandchild? Sure you can sit there and talk to them and explain about everything they can catch...but IF they think they are in love, they are going to do what they want to do.
If I had a child to come to me at 13 and ask to be put on the pill, I would probably ground them and keep them away from whoever they are hanging out with. At 13 they should not even be dating...my boys were not allowed to date until 16. We are having to many babies having babies and I honestly blame the parents...so get a grip on your child!!!

childhood pregnancy has actually been on the decline for a while

not sure about the diseases though,,,,

The fact is some kids as young as 11 and 12 are sexually active in our ever increasingly permissive society. That said, if you think your child is sexually active at 13, there are bigger issues than discussing the pill that need to be addressed. Certainly the pill will prevent pregnancy; IF she uses them correctly. Which at 13 is a little questionable since they are so irresponsible. The bigger issue is, the pill will not protect her against Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Which at 13 is a non issue to her because they feel infallible with the "it wont happen to me" syndrome. If you feel your daughter needs to be on the pill, then YOU need to be an active parent and protect her from the rest of the issues surrounding sex at such a vulnerable age.

Childhood pregnancy is on the decline because girls today utilize abortion more. It isn't because pregnancy is happening less often.

seems like we would see a rise in abortion to match the decline in pregnancy if that were the case

but according to one source, the abortion rate is dropping faster than the pregnancy rate

'Kost also says the teen birth rate – the number of actual babies born to teenage moms - was down 35% as well; and the abortion rate among teens dropped almost 60% from its peak in 1988.'


http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/09/fewer-teens-getting-pregnant-having-abortions-study-shows/

I am going to say what I really think here and not some political PC stuff that will keep me from getting flamed.

First off I would already be prepared for such a revelation if I had a 13 year old of either gender and probably much younger. And being a Mom, Foster Mom, GrandMom, Community Leader, and so forth believe me it can and will happen well before 13 with some kid you know so Heads up.

The best sex education starts in bits and pieces many years before but for whatever reason you find this "news" it is not the end of the world and you should not panic. Even if it makes you shake like a leaf take a deep breath and continue to talk WITH your kid not at them. Act do not react.

I KNOW if my Daughter , or son, had the courage to come home and tell you straight up she wants on the pill you need to listen hard. Rarely do kids do this for shock value but sometimes thoughtful kids can surprise you by bringing up ideas that are generated by any number of reasons.

If she is saying she feels a need to be protected then you need to know why and address the issue WITH her not FOR her. Kids can feel vunerable to the need for protection for any number of reasons. Some kids are actually smart enough to know that any sexual activity puts them at serious risk in their preteens and really just want to have a serious discussion with someone they trust and depend on. Sometimes they even ask to protect others. But this does not get parents off the hook so if the child is addressing it you HAVE to. Like it or not it's part of parenting.

However I would break a land speed record in regards to finding a knowlegeable Pediatric Gynocologist and making an appointment so both of you can make informed decisions if at 13 she is expressing such a specific desire. Your local or regional Pediatric hospital would be my first choice for referrals. First you then your daughter. This is an emotional subject for any real parent and you need to be as calm, informed, and confident as you can be. And a young female needs to have a skilled empathic physician not only talk to her but examine her with the right instruments and skills so that whatever her future holds it is a trusting and competent relationship with a doctor. DO NOT kid yourself Teenage pregnancy for females, and males by the way, can be a life threatening event. I personally can associate several suicide attemps and that alone is enough reason to take it serious without the spector of pregnancy or STD's. STILL many of which are NOT cureable.

And then I'd see to it that my daughter no matter how much I trusted her judgement and upbring saw that same physician on at least a quartly basis. A thirteen year old can be wise in some areas and others just not have the maturity or perspective or coping skills to take on being her own health advocate or making decisions about being sexually active.

While I think it is futile to "scare" a kid out of being sexually active I do think really showing kids what the reality could be in your family is part of the approach. Talking about what it costs and how much parenting would change their reality needs to be part of the conversation. Especially if they have any kind of warm fuzzy ideas about how you would bail them out or how a baby would be cool. At thirteen most kids still have very magical thinking when it comes to the future and how things really work in the world. I don't think you have to necessarily hit kids over the head with the lecture but definitely ramp up the life skills training.

I guess last but not least I doubt if I had any real reason to think my child was sexually active before 18 if I would depend on birth control pills. I would at least offer a more long lasting AND a more immediate level of protection. Assumeing nothing that anyone else told them and actually demonstrateing how easy it is to flub condom use and probably opting for a kind of birth control that would prevent forgetting or being talked out of. I would consider pregnancy before the age of not less than 16 as dangerous if not more dangerous than drinking and driving. They can say what they want about how safe abortion is but between 13 and 16 having to have one will forever change your childs life. As will a misscarriage or premature delivery. Which is pretty much assured at that age.

I know I would "want" to try and prevent sexual activity but I guarantee you if there is a will there are plenty of ways so acceptance is a place you want to get to even if your most vervent hope is they do abstain. And it is not to say that with the right support teens don't do just that because still many do.

Trying to immediately compleatley edit out any person you think might be "influenceing" your daughter in a direction you hope she is not going is a really a STUPID idea. It will destroy your relationship and will ultimately backfire. That is NOT To say that you do not have a responsibility to try an monitor behavior that is clearly going to end up sooner or later enableing sexual activitiy but it is better to give your child the tools to edit their own situations than become your child's jailor.


Word to the wise if you think sex does not go on in virtually anywhere especially your own home, schools, church environments, treatment centers, or even jail you are kidding yourself.

I went on the pill at 12. My doctor prescrbed it for cysts and to straighten out my period. So, I would say I would, but I would speak to her about abstinence and responsibility. She may not even want it for sex nowadays as the pill controls acne, cysts, and sypmtoms of prementrual syndrome.

I agree with you 100%, a long talk would be the first thing to do and to explain that the pill does not protect you from getting an STD, but not to encourage the child that sex is ok at such a young age, instead to help reduce the rate of teenage pregnancies.

There are 3 types of kids. Obedient, rebellious and the middle type. I have the headstrong type who I have provided contraception to because I know irregardless of what I teach her, she will do what she wants to do given the opportunity.

For sex, no way. Other than sex, it would be between my wife, daughter, and their doctor. I would trust my wife to make the best decision on such, but would like to be informed at least.

If she comes home and tells you by way of, "she needs the pill", to me, that is a pretty good clue she is either sexin' or getting ready to.

Give it to her or, wait to see if you gonna' need a baby room or abortion?

Yes I would alongside the talk that goes along the lines of my telling her that IMO, she is too young, risk of STI's, pregnancy etc.

I hope I would respect her maturity and honesty in coming to me prior to having ssex and wanting not to risk an unwanted pregnancy but it would also shock the crap out of me.

I spoke to my son at around that age about the importance of using condoms and at 18, I continue to talk to him about not making me a grandma and protecting himself against STI's.

Id rather talk about and resolve the underlying cause of her desire to engage in such a risk

and the reality that her biggest risk is not getting pregnant nor is it protected by a pill,,,

I had a 13 year old stepchid about 3 years ago. She was curious.
I didn't attempt to rationalize with the child. I simply told her a story about a child that was forced to have sex with her older husband. How it tore her on the inside and she bled to death.

She's 16 now and I believe, she is starting to consider sex. I told her to protect herself with the pill and a hule.

PS.
Her Mama approved of the story and my counseling the kid.

My 15 year old foster daughter left my care. Within two weeks she was pregnant. I am positive my daughter is not sexually active, but her friends are. I simply do not want to be surprised one day even though she knows the pricelessness of sexual purity.