I dont have an issue with it. I Tell them they cant stay up even though I do. They know they cant watch rated R movies even though I do. They know not to hit (Because I dont 'hit' them). They dont assume they can spank though, just because I do.THey know they cant drive even though I do. They know about 'paying the cost to be the boss'. WHen they are paying their own way, they know they will be able to set their own rules. They know there is a different level for adults than there is for kids, just like adults can 'decide' to have sex but children arent considered emotionally able to. There is a difference between adults and children and that was never a serious issue in our culture/family.

The 'children' understand there are alot of things adults can handle and have earned, that just dont apply the same to children.

There is a different 'justice' for children than there is for adults. And thank goodness. I much prefer having been spanked for my indiscretions as a child than the imprisonment, potential police shooting or beating, debt, or stigma that adults face for theirs.

no, they dont 'need' to be hit. But they do 'need' boundaries and discipline and parents have to decide which methods work best for THEIR children to establish those needs.

physical discomfort is as viable as emotional

its even built into our anatomy for certain important lessons, like the PAIN of burning ourselve, helps us REMEMBER how dangerous fire is so that we dont cause severe damage to our bodies which may result if we didnt have the 'discomfort' to stop us from doing it....

Even though I didn't spank my kids and told them to try to "talk things out" a situation came up when my older son was 10 and my younger son was 7...A bully started picking on my younger son. (He was small for his age back then.)...Anyway my older son announced that he was going to "take on" the neighborhood bully to defend his brother and the "family honor." I couldn't believe it since he'd never been in any fights before. Of course I tried to talk him out of it but he said that he had to do it...He told me that I could go inside if I didn't want to watch the fight but he was going to "take" the bully "on" and teach him a few lessons...Kids and adults gathered around to see the "fight." (I felt like I was in the old movie "West Side Story" or ?? It seemed crazy and unreal!)...Naturally everyone thought the bully would make "mincemeat" out of my son. Everyone viewed him as more of a nerd...I don't know how he did it but my son managed to "flip" the bully over and "pin" him down to the ground. And my son just sat on him and kept him "pinned down."....Everyone started telling my son to "punch him out" but he never did. He just sat on the bully for a long time and kept him "pinned down." (To embarrass him.)...Eventually my son let the bully get up and he ran off...After that no one on the block "bothered" either one of my sons. My son knew what he wanted and needed to do even though he was only 10 at the time. Good for him for wanting to protect and defend his brother and the "family honor!"...My older son passed away 6 years ago when he was only 37. Sad!..It's nice to bring-up memories of his life and our life together once in awhile! My younger son has been "battling" cancerous brain tumors for about a year and a half now. Kind of rough!

sorry to hear about the tumors, but great to hear about siblings standing up for each other,,,

My kids definitely knew when I was upset and disappointed in them. I "spelled it all out" in words..And in no "uncertain terms!"...Normally I'm a pretty "easy-going" person. It takes a lot to upset me...My kids definitely saw a "different side" to me if they "crossed-over" one of my "lines." I didn't have to physically spank them...As a single parent I had to be both "mom" and "dad" to them. Everything rested on my shoulders..And I took my "job" as a parent very seriously! But everything wasn't always serious all the time! We had a lot of fun together! But I did set-up some "rules." And I explained the "basis" of my "rules" to my sons...A few years back I "babysat" a neighbor's young sons for the afternoon as a "favor" to her. Everything went "good" at first. But after awhile some of the kids started fighting and "acting-up" etc. The older boys could be "reasoned with" to a certain degree but the youngest son seemed "unreachable!" He was a "wild animal!"...The older boys kept telling me to spank him. They said he got spanked all the time. In my mind the spankings probably weren't doing much "good" if he still made a "career" out of "acting-up" and "going wild!"...Thank goodness their mom came back and took them off my "hands!"

Having my degree in Psychology, I rarely take studies at face value. Most psychological studies are set up to show a positive or negative correlation between two things, not causation which is much more difficult to "prove", statistically speaking. Methods are a key component that can put the validity and reliability of the study in doubt.

I personally think that spanking should be used sparingly, if at all. I've studied learning and behavior extensively, and while I'm not an expert, I've used what I learned to make the most logical decisions about many facets of life.

Spanking is usually performed when a parent is frustrated with a child's actions. The child however thinks the parent is upset with them (very young children are incapable of distinguishing between themeselves and their actions), and the consequence is physical punishment often involving some degree of pain and fear for the child. An association is then developed between frustration and pain and fear. When the child then faces their own frustration, the link already established and enforced through repeated exposure kicks in and the child will lash out with what they have been taught...to react in a way that causes pain and fear to the person that has frustrated them. Just one example of how it can be detrimental.

Disclaimer: This doesn't mean that I think parents who spank are abusive. It can be effective if done properly and only as a last resort, but most parents don't do that. They just give the whipping, or spoon, or smack while in an angry state with little explanation whenever the child does something "wrong".

Yep I have to agree, most people seem to smack their children after they become frustrated or upset, not so much as a consequence.
We had a rule that if you purposefully hurt someone you got a smack.

If you broke something you replaced it and if you where rude you got to work for the person you where rude to for a certain time.

For us it worked.

we have a few winners here

when done regularly out of 'anger', its not as likely to be effective

when done in CONJUNCTION With well communicated boundaries and consequences and consistency,,it can be VERY effective,,,

Shux...i was a mischief child and always getting in trouble and a smack for something like....

Deciding our white cat needed black spots, so sprayed the cat with black paint (oil based paint at that)....*smack*...don't do that again.

Being sent down the shop to get a loaf of bread, which was still warm and smelling really good that i ate the middle of it before i got home....*smack*...don't do that again, and go and get another loaf.

Playing in the pouring rain and puddles on the way home from school, resulting in being soaked to the skin by the time i got home....*smack*...don't do that again, now go hop in the hot bath before you catch a cold.

Letting the pet pig out of its pen so all the screaming meemee kids in the neighbourhood can run around to try and catch it. All this whilst my mum was trying to sleep after working nightshift as a nurse....*smack*...don't do that again and put that pig back in its pen!

Just to name a few....my mum found herself being both parents to 4 kids all under the age of 10 after my dad was killed in an accident. She couldn't afford the luxury of sitting us down to talk us through the naughty things we did as kids, having to work full time to pay a mortgage and feed & clothe us....so her discipline was swift and to the point...there was no mucking around in our household. I have nothing but the utmost admiration and respect for my mum.

I think I would like to add that my use of spanking was not and immediate reponse and the boundries applied to everyone.

If kids, practically our entire neighborhood played in our yard, had parents that did not trust me to use the disciplene I thought was necessary they could keep their kids home. Some of those same kids behaved better for me than their did their own parents and cried when they couldn't come over but I never had a kid or a parent say they had been treated unfairly.

And when I say everyone that even meant Mom. My kids were "allowed" to spank Mom when I got a speeding ticket. At first it was kind of a joke because they were six but it made a profound impression on them about fairness, boundries, and what disciplen was about.

Do some idiots confuse spanking and hitting or other forms of abuse well yea but kids are pretty smart.

We all grew-up in different families. If we got spanked as kids (and feel okay about it) this will affect how we discipline our own kids..If we were raised by parents who didn't believe in spanking this will affect us too...Of course some people may decide to take a different path with their own kids versus following in their parents' footsteps. (For various reasons.)..Conflicts may arise if someone who is a firm believer in spanking marries someone who is totally against spanking. (I've seen this happen.).. So it's probably best to discuss "child-rearing practices" (in-depth) before a couple decides to get married and raise children of their own. Don't you think?...I didn't think about all of this when I got married the first time. But I "lucked-out" because my first husband and I didn't have wide gaps or differences when it came to disciplining (or raising) our children.

We all grew-up in different families. If we got spanked as kids (and feel okay about it) this will affect how we discipline our own kids..If we were raised by parents who didn't believe in spanking this will affect us too...Of course some people may decide to take a different path with their own kids versus following in their parents' footsteps. (For various reasons.)..Conflicts may arise if someone who is a firm believer in spanking marries someone who is totally against spanking. (I've seen this happen.).. So it's probably best to discuss "child-rearing practices" (in-depth) before a couple decides to get married and raise children of their own. Don't you think?...I didn't think about all of this when I got married the first time. But I "lucked-out" because my first husband and I didn't have wide gaps or differences when it came to disciplining (or raising) our children.

great advice,,,,


I totally agree, being on the same page about child rearing is very important to the success of the relationship,,,,

Whip those damned kids....

I have said it before and I will say it again...

Discipline witout love is abuse.
Love without discipline is neglect.

It is better if you guys whip your spawn with good intentions and restraint.

Cause anyone else will just beat those nose mining little hellions without love or restraint. (I would beat them till they pee on themselves then take the belt to thier loser parents for failing thier kids)

Any soft handed, fish bellied panzy who don't want to whip a kid needs to go take a good long look around Wal-Mart...

Obviously, I realize I am making this statement to a fair number of losers whose miscreant reprobate kids are the actual problem.

A beating and a spanking are two different things to me. I got spankings as a child. The kids I saw who got beatings, with whatever was handy, I felt sorry for them. I am a responsible productive citizen. I turned out alright. I have raised my son just as I was raised. I did remember the times when my mom was wrong, but got me anyway. I decided to question and let the punishment fit the situation in my approach.
In my 29 yrs. of teaching, I see a change in children of today. When corporal punishment went and Dr. Spock came, along with social promotion and social media, children have not been the same. (I am not saying bring back corporal punishment.) I truly believe children like structure. They like knowing what's expected. I think they become believers when they see the adults follow through.

in this climate, of everything goes and the worst of the worst gets the publicity and glamorization

I definitely believe more corporal punishment would be helpful

not for every child, because every child is different

but parents have to do what WORKS for their families, and for millions of families and several generations, spankings have worked

public opinion be damned,,,

lol.. Seeing this and i just laugh. Where i come from, spanking, beating,(with hands and canes, belts etc) knocking, slapping, blowing, are all very normal way of discipline for us.. It is a way of life and i strongly believe is the reason why we are one of the most respectfull people on earth. Down here we wonder how a child can pick up a phone and call the police cause the mum or dad beat him.. This is the reason most of your kids have no respect for you guys. It marvels us down here how a child can slam the door to his parent face and say things like, " I HATE YOU DAD!, GET OUT OF MY ROOM DAD! Some even say YOUR SO STUPID.. My God, and then the parents start crying and begging to be heard. jESUS.. Insult your own parents and nothing is done about it? HA! In my country you dont even talk to your elders with your hands on your waist, or raise your voice at them.. If your family cant deal with you, neighbours and even strangers will beat the living daylight outta you.