While most of us may like to play down the role money plays in our love lives, as a normal necessity for normal human living, what are your views on the role of money in determining the success or otherwise of a relationship?

If she wants to live like a millionaire on a working class salary, then that is a red flag.

Money sucks, I wouldn't want to be with someone who was always to busy trying to make it.
I like to get enough to do what I want, then spend it and start again.
As long as my children are fed and have somewhere to sleep the rest is used for something we want to do.
So how much someone makes has never mattered, if I need it i make it myself.
I learnt a long time ago not to rely on a man to keep me and my children safe.

Then wouldn't that mean maybe she ought to look for someone who can give her just that? And doesn't that now lay a conditionality on the professed love?

She should look for a man who can do that for her. Reality is that there are men and women who live way above there means. Credit cards are maxed out, driving high priced vehicles, buying there kids all the new toys, etc.....it's all for appearance. For some people, money is security and if a woman can have all she wants (even if it means debt) then she will be happy. In this case, love probably isn't the main factor in the relationship.

Most women do not want to have to support a man. I say...if you nothing to bring to the table... don't bother coming in.
I will not step back in my life. Meaning, I will not be as successful as I am in life only to take someone in and support them while they only bring laziness and possibly no job.

The older I get the more important security becomes. And money is security. I do worry about not being able to work forever and not having enough money or benefits for good medical care in the future. However, God has never failed me yet and I trust I will always be provided with the resources to take care of myself and my children (until they are adults an then they darn well better have a plan to care for themselves).

Up until my divorce 5 years ago, I had never dated a guy who made less than I did and it was not something that had crossed my mind. But, since then I have dated a couple of guys who made significantly less than myself and it quickly turned into a situation of me supporting them. At first I was ok with it. And, I think I would have remained ok with it if the situation, as a whole, wasn't me taking care of them completely. It wasn't just money with these guys. They were incapable of taking care of themselves at all. So, instead of a man, I had another child on my hands.

I would imagine the scenario is similar for guys who date women with no financial means to support themselves. It's not the money so much as it is an indicator of the type of person they are. I've mentioned before that I am terrible with money. I make enough, I just spend too much. And, I'm currently examining this personality flaw and how it is reflected in other areas of my life. Money, how we view it, how we use or misuse it, says a lot more about us than we realize.

Like it or not...money is definitely a part of love.

It don't take alot....but, it takes some.

It is hard to be in love with no lights on, food spoiling in a hot refrigerator, a toilet that can't flush cause the water bill ain't paid and it is her birthday.

Blowing hard earned money on crap that she don't need is just as stupid as not having enough to not cover the basics.

For me, if I can put food on the table, a roof overhead and the lights on so I can look into her eyes...it had better be enough.

You know what? it's also a red flag when someone is a millionnaire and lives like a working man.

His wife or her husband marries her or him for the money, and then bang, there is nothing forthcoming. She or he is duped, the millionarie reads the paper in front of the tv and does nothing about it.

Life is not easy as a millionare, don't kid yourselves. A millionaire has to eat at the right restaurants, he has to get his kids into the prep school, his wife needs to go to a certain hair dresser; he has to belong to the right club or clubs, he has to drive a certain car, he has to live in a neighbourhood whether he wants to or not, and he can never again screw anyone outside his wife, coz he'll be nailed to the wall of litigation like a winged butterfly to a whiteboard.

While helping each other through bad patches will be okay to me. A man turning himself into a lazy dependant on his lady simply deserves to be shown the door! Maybe throwing him out the window wouldn't be a bad idea lol

Yep...that is why I never pick up a girl at the laundry mat...if she can't afford a washer and dryer....she would have a tough time supporting me.

hehehehehehe

My ex and I spoke about this topic in great detail before we became a couple. We agreed that no one should be made to feel the sole financial burden in a relationship. It's called being responsible for yourself and everyone should be able to do that regardless of their relationship status.

money is the root to all evil

Someone called me just today and thanked me for my views on money. They told me they lived in a trap until they were able to throw their money fears out the window. My view is "if you attach life to money your not living".

This may not be popular with many but I really don't care. I don't think money has anything to do with love and when it is made a love issue there is in itself the testament of how weak that love may be.

I will never compare the value of my love, or the one who loves me by a bank account.

That is a common misquote.

It's actually "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil." 1 Timothy 6:10

Money itself is not good or evil. It's an inanimate object. It it when one loves money more than people that evil acts sometimes take place.

yep, I was putting my own spin on the quote

Then by your spin, poor people are good and rich people are evil? If money itself is evil, do you refuse to use the stuff? Is it just American money? What about a peso or a yen? What if one uses property to trade instead of money? Is it okay to trade my cow for a horse? Or is that going to cause evil as well?

The idea that a piece of paper we use as an exchange system being the root of all evil is absurd. Plenty of people go through life utilizing this exchange system without committing an evil act because of it. It is actually greed....an emotion, not an object, that causes people to commit evil acts. Desiring/loving something or someone to the point where you would hurt another human being to get it.

I agree with MG. When it comes to love, I wont put a price on it ever. For richer or poorer. Stability can change just like that and if the love is there, as a couple you can survive anything including hard times.

I agree.

Unless you plan on living in the woods off of the land money is needed to survive. Love doesn't feed you or keep a roof over your head.

Money is so important in a relationship. The freedom of going anywhere you want and doing whatever you want. Women want stability. No one wants to do count pennies and have to analyze every transaction. Living paycheck to paycheck is very stressful when in a relationship. Having the ability to take the wife or girlfriend and treat her like a queen is something I miss. Being poor sucks.