Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in
which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently
Humorous.


Example:


Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

hahahahaha
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.




Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they
can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Kittens play with yarn, they bat it around. What they’re really doing is saying, “I can’t knit, get this away from me!”



“I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.” — Will Rogers


I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

(How to hit the target 100% of the time)

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
the target.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?