someone who has a mastectomy???? Breast removal? due to cancer????

I was thinking about this today, for all those cancer survivors...I wonder how hard it must be for them......

no one wants to answer???

I would still date a woman who had a mastectomy. As long as she had an attractive personality.

wow 40 ppl read this and cant comment???? You know why??? because they would prolly say no...or want to be politically correct......

Thanks for your answer totage!

Gypsy,

I won't type a bunch of crap here about "things like that don't matter." They do and I can think of no bigger insult to a woman who had suffered through and survived breast cancer (and its accompanying physical realities) than to reduce the ordeal to "those things don't matter." They do, and I am sure that both parties would have to discuss and explore their feelings about the issue. But while such conversations might prove difficult, they would most likely prove very much worth it.

Surviving cancer (my father was not so fortunate) is an amazing road. I know survivors (and participate through the hospital I work for in Relay for Life) and I know them to be some of the most complete and utterly astonishing people I've ever met. To that end, surgery as a result of cancer isn't who a person is--and so I could not make my decision based on such a narrow view of an individual.


-Drew

i read the topic and was just thinking 'wow, no one is responding'

it doesn't really apply to me (being a straight woman) but i'll sound off anyway...

i don't think that breasts are that important that people should be judged by them so it shouldn't really matter. tho, i won't lie, i would be very upset if i had to go through that. however, i think it would be very difficult to answer a question like that if one is not in the situation. even if it weren't a mastectomy... would if someone had an arm amputated? regardless of what body part it is, i think that kind of thing does make people a little uncomfortable. they're not sure how to act or what to say. i mean, just a smaller example, my grandfather lost two fingers in a freak snow-blowing accident... when i first saw him afterwards, i felt kinda weird about it. like, do i act like i don't notice? i dunno.

my point is, i think our conscience tells us that it would be wrong to turn someone away based on something like a mastectomy... but that human nature might take over and make you uncomfortable regardless. until you're actually faced with a choice like that, it's hard to honestly answer.

Point of clarification. Gypsy, the "narrow" I was referring to was not my saying your question was narrow. It was anything but.

How do most answer this question?
I wouldn't not date someone with a mastectomy. It really does come down to the whole person. Not one good or bad thing that would seal or break the deal.

thank you for your honesty drew and deyanna!

thanks for your answer kid......I do think it would be strange for some but as a person in the medical field I have seen so many things including women with masectomys and I dont really see it as being a deferrant.

But for a man, it may be....Idk.....

I cant really say as a woman if I would date a woman who had had a mastectomy, however I have a number of galfriends who are survivors...and they wont even bother with a superficial dude.

They put it out there straight up.

Some have had reconstruction surgery, FOR THEM, and THEIR PERSONAL reasons...

But a man who is all about the breast, is dust in their eyes.

Something I find is common amongst these women, is their self esteem, and self belief , and complete sense of self worth, is so much stronger, than prior to their cancer treatment.

I have so much awe for these women, and am always learning from them.

I think dealing with physical handicap, regardless of the cause, is a lot to deal with. There are a lot of factors to take into account when trying to answer what "most" people would do because we really need to consider what "most people in the same or similar circumstances" would do. Some things to consider: age, culture, etc. Some people can't handle the slightest deviation from the norm, regardless of the reasons. As for me, I haven't had to deal with this yet and, as a young man, can't honestly say how I would. Nearly a year ago my twin brother married a woman who was nearly ten years older with two kids. If you'd asked him whether or not he'd even date a woman matching that description two years ago, he'd have probably said no. This is a very complex issue and, understandably, has to be evaluated on a case by case basis. I guess my final answer is that I have no real answer. At least, not at this time given this vague hypothetical.

(oh yeah, and for all those people that think I'm just hiding behind youth, how many people, my age or older, would be willing to get seriously involved with someone if they wanted children of their own, not adopted, but knew the other person wouldn't be able to conceive for biological reasons? Factors like youth definitely play into this).

I'd buy her new boobs and a wig and we would go DANCING!!!! WOO HOO! Oh wait, I can't dance very well.

Now for a serious answer. I don't know if I could unless of course we were already together and this happened. In that case I would stick with her no matter what. It would be alot to handle as a new relationship and I'm not sure I would want that.

I'm not sure what a mastectamy is. I want to say it's where they remove the uterus, but what do I know huh? lol

Well, on breast removal:.... That's a tough one. I think if I just met a woman and there was no real connection then I wouldn't date her, but if I was seeing someone who was struck with cancer and lost her breas in the process and I really loved her, then there's no way that's going to stop me from being with her.

On to the mastectamy part: (remember, I think it's taking out the uterus and this is what I base my comments on.) This would be the greatest deal breaker because I want a family and if she can't have children, then neither she nor I will be happy together.

I'm not sure what a mastectamy is. I want to say it's where they remove the uterus, but what do I know huh? lol

Well, on breast removal:.... That's a tough one. I think if I just met a woman and there was no real connection then I wouldn't date her, but if I was seeing someone who was struck with cancer and lost her breas in the process and I really loved her, then there's no way that's going to stop me from being with her.

On to the mastectamy part: (remember, I think it's taking out the uterus and this is what I base my comments on.) This would be the greatest deal breaker because I want a family and if she can't have children, then neither she nor I will be happy together.

Sorry. My computer or something is acting up. I don't know what's causing the double entries, but I apologize.

Mastectomy = removal of breasts.

Hysterectomy = removal of reproduction organs.

hmmmmmmmmmmm interesting.......you would stick by that person after a relationship but wouldnt want to start one with that very same person.....

Jess, thanks. gypsy... It's a hard pill to swallow, but being as honest as I can, I think that's exactly what I'd do. I would probably consider being with her if I didn't know at the start of the dating process, but developed feelings for her and then found out. Then I don't think it'd bother me. Hell, I've never been in that situation, so I really don't know.