some of you may have noticed iv not been about as much as usual, but you may not have noticed at all

I got chatting with a girl in Canada, actually, right over the west side of Canada... quite a trek from the UK. We got on real well so i decided to take a flight over, and spent 10 days there. (10 hr flight to Vancouver, then a 1h30 flight from vancouver). We got on really well and i even got on great with her daughter (3years old). I'm not really used to children so i wasn't sure how things would be, but it was all good.

It was hard having to leave to come back here. She had tears, and me, being a guy, put on a brave front and so on. 26 hours later (waiting at airport, time zones etc) and i was back home and ready to go back to my normal life and my career.

I had a bit of a freaky time about a week or so after i got back. I got scared. Could i really do this? I lost confidence in myself and felt i couldnt do this. I avoided her messages, put a distance between us, built my self defence wall. Eventually i spoke to her about it and basically said that i didnt think i could do it. Cue more tears etc.

I realised that really, it was just me being scared of the whole situation. I'm not the most open of people, and that didnt help, as i wasnt communicating how i felt. I spoke to her again and opened up about why i said what i did, and that i didnt mean it, and my fears and so on. I'm glad i did, but i know that open-ness is one of my weaknesses that i have to work on. So we're back to being happy again!

Here's the thing, i really feel that i should be there. I've been working hard on my career over the last few years, up for a promotion over the next week and so on. I'm ready to throw that in (work in that line doesnt seem to come up in her city) and make the big brave leap! I'm staying in my job here for at least the rest of this year, they're letting me do various trade certifications that are globally recognised and will hold me in a stronger chance should the right job opportunity arise.
I'm not sure HOW to pick up and move countries. I may even have to just do it and be an illegal for a period of time. Marriage is not an optional way around it, as she is currently married/seperated, and he's going to drag that out for the full duration!

so thats where im at presently!

I am really handsome from 3000 miles away......

if it is right . . . there is usually no thoughts about this and that . . . but if she is not already legally divorced be careful about the situation you are getting into . . . good luck!!

That's exactly what I was thinking!

if you wish to pursue the relationship,
move. you can always move again. life is
short so have fun and spend it with one
who wishes your company and whose company
you also enjoy.

anyplace can be interesting if you decide
to make it interesting...and who knows?
maybe your next move will not be solo.

welcome back

Sounds complicated to me! Why cant you just wait until she is DIVORCED first before moving there??

reasons i was stressing out, seems that i was trying to live in 2 time zones for the communication reasons, this was having a pretty bad effect on me, i was constantly tired and grouchy, i was having some problems at work and basically, i was feeling run down and stressed out.

I finally worked out that i needed to live my day 2 day live in my own time zone, rather than burning myself out.

If this time thing is stressing you out...maybe ur better off looking for someone in the UK! I understand that you like this woman and all...but is she really worth all this stress??? I mean she is not even divorced...Im not here to judge sorry....but good luck to you anyway!!

if you feel that strongly about her go for it.. jobs are a dime a dozen and id rather have to start over with a job at mc'D then wonder if I fvcked up and let "the one that got away" slip beyond my grasp..

You are presently in a situation of

Allowing your heart to lead you or following you first mind of keeping the saftey net (career/promotinn) close to you....

Here goes:

1. She is not divorced (flashing red light)and the current husband/Father is not about to move out of the way swiftly (could, might, may get messy) and the little one WILL BE caught in the middle

2. In the event that you move right now this may pose a problem in the divorce concerning the child???????

3. At the end of anything should be a period to come to terms with the lose, death (divorce), and stepping back and reflecting on what just happened...she went from he's out to you are in.....

4. No matter what happened between them, it took two to put it together and it takes two to break it up......in other words, You may need to allow time (the year you spoke of) and the divorce to settle first and then go from there......

Love is wonderful and throwing caution to the wind is even better when you like putting your heart, soul and mind on the line

You will do what, you will do but, do it with a level head.....

Go Luck to you........

Yeah this is good advice acutally

Well- they say love knows no distances or bounds...

Good luck to you!

sorry to much to read unless its a book im not reading that

talk about boring(zzzz)

sorry, i just realised i put this in the relationship advice section, i wasnt after advice, just making a statement!

italianman30, thanks for your wonderfully thought out input to the thread, i look forward to reading more intelligent scribes from yourself

Shame on you dear! Be nice!

bloke....I think you put it in the right place at the right time....we are a big family here (well some of us) and I wish you the best.......

well, since you are bored this would be a good time to work on your profile.....

so hes a bloke?

Thank U!!!!