walk with me..
When I was young, I realized I had poor examples, they have wrong priorities still.
So, not wanting to waste time, I developed my own theories, and code and I check only with
my gut, wich I feel is the holy spirit, I think it is for everybody not evil. It has brought
me through an icredibly surreal experience, and I will write about it later, just need you here for the rest.
I am not a holy roller, I have machette and knife scars, used to sell pot in my 20's
Re: pretty damn mean to the other guy.. Don't want to pay me? furniture off the porch...not nice, men pay debts. I have thrown "marines" out of the party,
and then slept w/ their wifes...not cool..
as for respect, you heard me say i almost got introuble once,
guy hurt my mom.Respect is 5 army personnel coming to court...yes, i walked, what else should i have done. nothing?
I have had two fiance's total of 7 years, thats fine,
helps us know what we need. I have not ever, ever cheated. I guess I have to get a little shiny to find you.
..it's ok, just not my color..chrome won't get you home!
I have been made a measuring stick by guys, all my life. I love competition, but not constant, always,
so... my friends list is small.I am not mean, or a jerk. What I mean is I know what it takes.
I am only talking to lazy, selfish people. I am not special, just I apply more effort, and have way more faith.
I don't really have any dreams, more like decisions. I wish everybody felt like this... they could be busy
and leave me alone. Why well, army infantry at 17, FT Benning GA.. toughest training on earth. fired expert in all weapons,
and aced parts of the pt test. School, you heard me say I was a paid tutor, in all subjects
and my psych prof said I should go into forensic psych. I guess a lot of this has to do with my
personality type, Carl Jung, INFJ.. ill put it at the end...1% of the population
answers like me....and your lonely?. When I race, I go pro, I have raced quads, better on a mororcycle
sailboats, cars,pool, 10K's.. whatever..the grocery cart. But, I threw away the trophies, I keep thank you notes
from people who are not proud or violent, those, I have helped lots. I like to teach, give back,
so I have to teach myself better, and am able to explain all the little things, thats my reward,
the kids know who to ask ?'s. I had sponsors etc, and when I opened my own shop here in fitchburg..
ended up having platinum business cards, I took what I loved, and killed it for myself. My roads
have left me feeling like this

please pause, i know i heard it before

why would you stress your memories to me, I faded mine, took no pictures
Those glory days of yours, all worn out, i have to object to them
i purposely forgot everything when I let it go, need nothing to hold on too
my memories, are raw, my stuff it is real... I never edit!!
deliverd hourly, do things right, right when it's infront of you
another obstacle for you? why the negativity?
that was nothing, not even a goal, click enter
what does the world have next, stand up...lets go
forward, i used to trip, but i learned how to roll
I ride hard...i hit the jumps, it's how i fly higher
my daily goals, set on automatic... just delivery vehicles
If i'm just making hobbies up as I go, why do i hide?
pride... now i hate it
takes away from it,
makes me feel like i am cheap, don't want no more of it
when you do things small, you become incomplete
please don't tell me what you "know" again
you've already reminded me
I don't bother one uping
I have to pick my experiences apart for so you can digest them
You don't mind that I tell you, because I do things
right,I just don't care, you can call this a suggestion

surrealifeIV 1:01 5/2/12
my world is full of clowns
i hate clowns

Sorry, if I am not holding on to it, why are they?
I am kind, I will try to help.
I am looking for you baby!
I broke out my guitar to help me...it's fun. this is
an all win situation for me.. and I can share this...nice!
I swear I am speaking a foreing language, I'll just try harder
Why I ride dreams, and others live vicariously
"how I aproach life, to be honest, I don't cry but I am
heres my secret, my thesis. Now it's time to go public
please read this:

if you take what your passionate about. Forget what you've been told...everything you think you know
just let it go
look at it through a childs' clear filter...grab hold tight, keep it near you
with all your effort, and hopefuly some sacrifice
you've honed it, leaving a mark where youv'e touched it
If you can do this for pure reasons, and then forget it
if you can, it won't let you, you've become it
then maybe the lord may look at it with you, maybe for just a second
through you"

c.s. 4/30/10

I'm looking for...
I am just starting this new adventure, be nice if you were here from the start.
This is an older one, so you know this didn't start last night..

Owed to a Love

your like a Picasso, perfect and rare
as for your beauty, there are none who compare
your body's curves... cause me to stare
I'll sacrifice for you, without any care
as I sit writing.... thinking of you
I feel confused, wondering what I should do?
The smell of your perfume......so familiar
Nostalgic! like a dream not quite remembered
Knowing you is such sweet pleasure......saving face
with you, is no small measure
your smile and glow are so disarming
as my feelings grow..... my heart begins pounding
Your soft embrace is in such good taste
my life without you......would be a great waste
Kindred spirits, one for another
I hope in this life, we'll soon become lovers
Behind my eyes......I wish you could see
How I sit waiting..........on a bended knee
c.s.
am feeling like:
The roads I roam

where is this leading me? these paths that I walk
these lonely roads I know......never lead me home
all these routes and highways...no wonder you don't know me
i'm not lost, you just don't know how to find me
when all the paths are beaten, where will you meet me?
sitting watching the wheels grind by, wishing I had more time
Trying to drive the truth on these streets
it just seems to get run down by the false incompletes
If I put out a road sign for you, it would be mistaken
for I know everyone elses is advertisements, they're faking!
if I built a bridge for you to me, would you cross to explore?
or are you caught in the race? and not even looking for more
so i'll wait at this rest stop I call my world
for you to slow and take a brake from the life
and when the path your on flatens you, and then deadends
i'll be there with a soft shoulder to cry on
This is your exit, no more detours

4/26/12
c. smith IV

if you stopped by and already read those thanks, but why haven't
I heard from you...ohh yea I cannot read ANY mssgs. that is why
I left my info, again surrealifeIV on the big mikrosft site, the Live 1
iv is caps.
what is the problem... unless, YOUR MARRIED? thats not me anymore, bye
Hoping you just have a good reason though... I guess I am really talking
to a couple of you...
..where are you, I have way more to tell
and I want to hear about all your projects