Me - awoke from a nap on the bench at the bus stop, picking crumbs out of my overgrown beard and pestering everyone for a drink; you - choking on my odor, tripping over your purse trying to get away; then, at the last moment, our eyes met, mine were blue. Can I have a dollar?

That doesn't work for you? How about this one...

SWM into chainsaws and hockey masks looking for like-minded SWF.
No weirdos, please.
Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 25-30 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, kinky sex and Herb Alpert albums. Baby, you are my Tijuana Taxi!

Still no?

Okay fine... the REAL me.

I don't take things to seriously unless they are serious things. I work hard and pay my bills. Yes this means I have a career, vehicle, all the normal stuff. I stand six foot three inches and am no small man, but I am a MAN.

I have two children who live with me. They are the most important aspect of my life. We like to go to the movies, the park, anywhere really. We ride bicycles around the neighborhood almost every evening.

I am here looking for friends, not really wanting anything more at this stage in my life. I love all types of music and I paint (oil on canvas). I am not a partier and have no real use for the bar or club scene... I am not 20 anymore. I do drink occasionally and smoke regularly, but I would rather have friends over (or at their place) to have a drink, hang out, whatever.

The real you -

Don't take your self too seriously. I will call you on your BS and expect you to call me on mine... that's what friends are for after all, right? Age doesn't matter so much and I am not going to restrict it to a number, but be close. I love my mom but I don't want to hang out with her... get me?

Just be normal. I believe in the "golden rule", hopefully you do too. You should also like kids... It's kinda mandatory since I have them...