Pics of me can be found here: http://mingle2.com/topic/show/218349?page=10

Hilarious Weird Al song.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xEzGIuY7kw&feature=related


˙ǝɯ ʇou sı ʎnƃ ǝʎǝ-ǝɥʇ-ɥƃnoɹɥʇ-ɹǝƃuıɟ ǝɥʇ ɟo ɔıd ǝɥʇ



About me.. What to say??
First off, let me say two things. Folks here at Mingle that are Masters of the "Cut and Paste" posts are, in my mind, people that cannot do any thinking on their own, and have to have someone do it for them. Secondly.. I am not one of them, as I can think for myself.. Even in a foreign language.

I'm an enigma wrapped in a puzzle, wrapped in a big taco shell. This is where I stand politically, but in no specific order.

I'm a combat Veteran, son of a combat Veteran, who was also the son of a combat Veteran, and all three of our generations have been Catholic, and Democrats, but I'm pro-choice and pro death penalty. I think that a retrial should take place within one year of conviction, and that if there's a re-conviction, execution should take place one month later. Anyone heard of Pay-Per-View? Big $$$ to be made.. I'm pro water-boarding. I'm against making deals with terrorists.

I am against war, but so are ALL the soldiers that face dying. BUT, and this is a BIG but.. I support the troops more than simple words can relay to you or them.

I'm for cleaning up our world. I'm anti-(I'm a celebrity, you must listen to me because of that). WHO cares Bono, Madonna ???
I'm so far out of step with the beliefs of my church because of many of these, and some more. I'm for women Priests. Lord knows the men in my church have been screwing it up for centuries. Although nobody likes divorce, sometimes it's the lesser of two evils.

I'm all about castration for 2nd time sex-offenders, and that anyone that hurts a child should be put in a locked room with as many male relatives of that child as possible, no-holds barred, no charges filed. I'm for stem cell research, and believe that we can find cures for many things if allowed to go down that road. I'm for cloning cells, but not life forms.

I believe in alien life. Billions of stars, and thousands of galaxies, and this rock is the only one with so-called intelligent life?? RIGHT.

I believe that there were at least two shooters in Dallas, and that oswald was set up to fail/fall. He might have been the shooter, prolly was, but that idiot didn't do it on his own. Prolly cia covert ops. Why else would ruby shoot him? sirhan x2 prolly also a patsy. Malcolm, Bobby K, and Martin done in by our own gov't.

I believe in angels, and guardian angels. I believe that Bob Hope did more for the morale of the troops than any other single person on this planet.

I'm a Mutt. Mostly Irish (about 60%), followed by German (about 30%), and the last 10% is Dutch.

I like all types of women. Tall or short, skinny to thick, blonds, brunettes, redheads, or other. I have two small requirements though. She must be intelligent, and she must be employed.

I like to watch sports, but only when the teams I like are playing, or when it's time for the play-offs, and a game might determine if my team goes further. Those teams are Da Bears, The White Sox, and Notre Dame(football). In other words, I don't watch sports just to be watching sports. I've also been known to watch Nascar on occasion.. I lived 3 miles south of the track in Joliet.. I love amusement parks. I love going to Great America(seasons passes are great).

I watch a few shows, but other than that, the tv is usually just background noise. Those shows? Leverage, Bones, Sons of Anarchy, In Plain Sight, Lie to Me, White Collar, NCIS and Justified.

My taste in music is vast. I like Country, head-banging rock (some friends of mine have a band called The Tossers- look 'em up), Dean, Frank and Sammie, Michael Buble, Harry Connick Jr., Joe Satriani, Celtic, Swing, Classical, and Blues.

I read newspapers on a regular basis, and books when I find one that interests me. Authors I like: Dean Koontz, Janet Evanovich, Dale Brown, Richard Marchinko, Louis L'Amour, J.R.R. Tolkien.

I have done a bit of traveling due to the time I was in the army. I've been to Austria, West Germany, East Germany(before the Wall came down), England, France, Italy, Portugal, Spain, The Netherlands(took a wrong turn..lol), Canada, Mexico, Honduras, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait.. And I've never needed a passport.

Due to working at the jail, I have had to learn how to deal with the slugs of society. I babysat serial killers, mass-murderers, spree-killers, mob hitmen, gangbangers, rapists, and the average Joes that just screwed up. I was going for a degree in Psychology as it pertains to the criminal element, but have put that dream to rest. I know more about the criminal mind than I really care to know.

I don't have any need for myspace, or facebook. I have a super computer. No, it can't do calculations of the Earth's orbits, but it sure holds a lot of stuff. Like 4+ Terabytes. That works out to 4,000 Gigabytes. My pc is even hooked up to my 40 inch tv.. I don't game, don't have xbox, or ps3, or nintendo. I don't even have an mp3 player. Why not? Cuz with the huge volume of music I have, I'd need one that holds at least 1/2 Terabyte.



I lived in a town so small, we ran an extension cord to the town next to us for electricity. It's so small that the post office just sets any mail on the counter. We have a police force now.. well... A dozen Barney Fifes.


Random facts about me, I'll add as I think of them:

I will not consider dating an atheist.
I'm drug-free. I don't even like painkillers, except aspirin.
I don't hunt or fish.
I love Discovery, and the History channels.
I speak both Spanish(schooled) and German(in German bars).
I can swear in both those, Greek, Korean, Polish, and Sign.
I'm smarter than the average bear. IQ in the top 1%, but I'm still normal (??)
I was rejected by Mensa.. Flippin Braniacs..
I can bench-press 25% more than my weight.
I'm NOT an office type of guy.
I'm a shot and a beer guy that doesn't drink often.
I'll take quality over quantity in friends.
I can two-step.
I've been complimented after karaoke.
I sound like Josh Turner, or Barry White.
I've been divorced since '93.
I drink a LOT of sweet tea.
I have 18 tattoos.
I'm basically shy.
I have a dark sense of humor. I can eat while watching "Faces of Death".
I'm right-handed, but eat with my left hand.
I have driven a car over 170 mph.
I have a fear of heights- I have no problem getting up a ladder onto a roof, but getting back onto the ladder gives me the willies.
I'm handy around the house.
I have been skydiving.
I've been shot at many times.
I was shot once.
I've broken both my legs, my nose twice, both big toes, and 7 fingers.
I've had 3 hernia operations in the same place. Yep, down THERE.
I love roller coasters.
I'm a big kid.
I sometimes have a problem with spelling (I before E, and all that).
I was trained as a masseur.
I was in the army for 8 1/2 years.(3 yrs in, 1 1/2 out, then another 5+ in).
I was a Sheriff's Deputy (Corrections) for another 8 1/2 years. I worked at 26th & California in Chicago. I babysat guys back on appeal from the pen for 7 of those years. Whilst there, I got into a few scrapes with inmates. (I guess I'm a victim of workplace violence..)
I drove a delivery truck throughout Texas back in the mid 80's, so I know Texas better than most Texans, and better than I know Illinois.
I was the head of maintenance at a motel in Waco, TX.
I am pc literate, but don't know DOS.
I left home at 17 to join the army.
I live about 20 miles from where I was raised.(edit).. Now.. 1,020 miles away.
I have lived in IL, NJ, TX, KY, LA, GA, Germany, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Iraq.
I have been to roughly 35 of our 50 states.
I can name them all in alphabetical order.
After camping(!?!) for 5 months in Iraq, I haven't done it since.. BUT, the right woman could change that quickly.
My phone number is in the following digits:0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.

June 14th, 1775 Congress adopted the American Continental Army after The Committee of the Whole reached a consensus. This decision was concealed by a veil of secrecy which lead to an incomplete record of all the decisions involved in the creation of the Army. The record very clearly indicated that Congress undertook the creation of ten companies of rifleman and many of the rules for the government of the Army. The recorded accounts of the Congressional delegates reveals the many steps involved in this historical decision to raise a regional Army from the original thirteen colonies including the number of companies from each of the different colonies.

Congress determined that each company should consist of one captain, three lieutenants, 4 sergeants, 4 corporals, a drummer or horn player and 68 privates. Each member enlisted for a one year period that would expire July 1st, 1776. The response to the original call for skilled marksmen was so successful congress raised the quota of companies for Pennsylvania from 6 to 8. The Continental Army was off to a great start and has maintained and increased it's strength continually ever since.

The United States Navy was established October 13, 1775 by the Continental Congress when it authorized the dispatch of two armed vessels ordered to search for munitions ships supplying the British Army. During the Revolutionary War the Continental Navy maintained nearly 50 ships with 20 active at its maximum strength. After the war, Congress sold the ships and released the seamen and officers. In 1789, the Constitution empowered Congress "to provide and maintain a navy." In 1794, Congress ordered the construction of six frigates which were administered by the War Department until Congress established the Department of the Navy on April 30, 1798. The birthplace of the Navy can be attributed to several cities playing significant roles in the development of the of the first American Fleet. Philadelphia was home to the Continental Congress and subsequently the Continental Navy; it was the first port from which the initial fleet of four vessels set out to sea. Other cities claim the title of "birthplace of the Navy" such as: Machias Maine, Providence Rhode Island, Beverly and Marblehead Massachusetts, and even Whitehall, New York. Although, the United States Navy does not officially recognize any of these cities as it's birthplace, the Navy does trace it's roots to the Continental Navy.

The United States Air Force came from a long line of service before it was finally established on September 18, 1947. This branch of United States Military began as the Aeronautical Division of the US Signal Corps on August 1st, 1907. On July 18th, 1914 the Aeronautical Division became the Aviation Section. Four years later on May 20th, 1918 the Division of Military Aeronautics was established and existed for four days until May 24th, 1918 when it became the Air Service which it remained until July 2nd, 1926. In 1926 the Air Corps took over the role of the Air Service until the United States Air Force was established in 1947. In June of 1941 the Army Air Forces assumed the role of the Air Corps which remained as a combat arm of the Army Air Force through 1947.

The United States Marine Corps has a long and colorful history. The Second Continental Congress founded the Marine Corps on November 10, 1775. Congress ordered "Two Battalions of Marines be raised' and that care be taken, that no persons be appointed to office, or enlisted into said Battalions, but such are good seamen, or so acquainted with maritime affairs as to be able to serve to advantage by sea when required". Samuel Nicholas, a merchant from Philadelphia, was commissioned a Captain by Congress, and ordered to recruit the men needed to form the two Battalions. Captain Nicholas is remembered as the first Commandant of the Marine Corps. The recruiting headquarters for the new Marine Corps was located in Tun Tavern, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Robert Mullen, the proprietor of the tavern, was commissioned a Captain in the Marine Corps for his success as a recruiter. Captain Mullen is remembered as the first Marine Recruiter, and his tavern is known as the Birthplace of the Marine Corps. Some of the men who served in these two Battalions of Marines had served earlier in another Marine Corps. In 1740 King George II had ordered the formation of several Marine Regiments, and four of those Regiments were composed of American Colonials. Known as "Gooch's Marines", these colonials fought against pirates and in Britain's war with Spain. To this day close ties bind the two Bands of Brothers.

From the attack on New Providence Island in the American Revolution, to ongoing operations around the globe, the United States Marines prove themselves to be the "World's Finest". The Marine Corps Emblem was adopted in 1868 by the seventh Commandant of the Marine Corps, Brigadier General Jacob Zeilin. The Emblem is the bald eagle astride a globe with an anchor in the background, and a banner with Semper Fidelis grasped in the eagle's mouth. The eagle represents our proud nation, the globe represents the Corps' worldwide service, and the anchor represents the Corps' naval traditions. The Marine Corps Motto "Semper Fidelis" is Latin for "Always Faithful". Adopted in 1883 by Colonel Charles G. McCawley, the eighth Commandant of the Marine Corps, this Motto defines a Marine. Always Faithful to his or her God, Corps, and Country.

The United States Coast Guard was formed August 4th, 1790 by the first Continental Congress to enforce tariff and trade laws, prevent smuggling and protect the collection of Federal Revenue. The U.S. Coast Guard's responsibilities have grown to include saving lives of seafarers, protecting the U.S. coastline and ports as well as enforcing our laws at sea. In times of peace, the U.S. Coast Guard operates as part of the Homeland Security Administration. During times of war, the USCG serves under the Department of the Navy. Thank you to all the dedicated members of the USCG for your continued service protecting our country.

ww5.komen.org
^^^^^
The Susan G. Komen Foundation. Helping to save our beloved women from having to suffer with breast cancer. Do your part, and DONATE !!!

Here's one of the better poems I've written here.
Here I sit, all confounded
The Cops say that my home's surrounded
I didn't do it, I swear it's true
I'm not the one that did this all to you

There they go, using the horn
Loud as hell, and it's just morn
They say I've got till they count to ten
Will I ever see my friends again??

They are mistaken, it can't be me,
I don't live at one-one-three
Across the street- he's over there
He's the guy stealing underwear.

They throw in smoke, can't they read?
Now they're shooting, I start to bleed
Only a flesh wound, stay on the floor
I wasn't the pervert at her door.

He's over there again I say
Why won't they just go away?
He's the panty thief, not me, I think
Damn, they just shot up my sink.

He comes over to look-see
Why they are shooting at me
Catch him now, he's there, it's HIM
Damn, my future's looking grim.

He walks away, back to his house
Catch that greasy, ugly louse
A cop looks over, and what's he see?
The Perv has entered one-one-three.
It's there he says, across the street
The shooting stops, I've wet my feet.

They walk across, then knock, and grab
While I thought about a slab
at the ER, no, down in The Morgue
That nasty place where they take The Borg.

They haul his sorry butt to jail,
lights are flashing,sirens wail
But what of me, I scream, I shout
Why are all my windows shot out?

Who's gonna fix it all I ask
The Chief says Sorry, Not our task
You stupid A$$, can't you delve,
that your good 'ol BOYS shot up 112?

LEGAL DISCLAIMER* Real street addresses were used in this story, but no names were used because the "Freedom of Information Act" sheet was also shot up. Any similarity between the pervert at 113,and any other person, alive or dead, is purely coincidental. Sully was treated and released on the scene, but his porn collection, and a box of donuts were confiscated by the Elwood Police Department.
Barney Fife, Sheriff at Large

Who the **** cares what BULL **** I have to say, huh?

I'm goin' down to South Park gonna have myself a time,
Friendly faces everywhere humble folks without temptation,
I'm goin' down to South Park gonna leave my woes behind,
Ample Parking Day or Night, people spouting, "Howdy, Neighbor"
I'm headin' down to South Park gonna see if I can't unwind,
I like girls with big v******, I like girls with big fat t******
So come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine.




-----///\\-----Plz
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---Profile if
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\- ///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\---Or who may be suffering from it

For my Mom, Ruth 01/14/24-03/10/86



-----///\\-----Plz
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---Profile if
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\- ///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\---Or who may be suffering from it

For Kay T. Friend- Breast cancer SURVIVOR. God luv ya Kay



-----///\\-----Plz
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---Profile if
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\- ///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer
----///--\\\---Or who may be suffering from it

For John R. Friend- Passed away July 28th, 2010. I'm missing you, Buddy.



-------!!!------- put this on ur
-------!!!------- page if you
---!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!---know someone in the
-------!!!------- armed forces or to
-------!!!------- show your support
-------!!!------- and respect to all
-------!!!------- the troops

I support ALL Allied Troops 100%.


-------!!!------- put this on ur
-------!!!------- page if you
---!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!---know someone in the
-------!!!------- armed forces or to
-------!!!------- show your support
-------!!!------- and respect to all
-------!!!------- the troops

To all the Troops at Ft. Hood- my 1st duty station, you are all in my heart, and in my thoughts. Not only due to the tragic loss of your Brothers and Sisters in the shooting melee, but at all times.