Don't cry for a man who's left you, the next one may fall for your smile. ~ Mae West


~*~ There are no guarantees in life, but could I at least get my dignity back!~*~




I cut my hair and donated it to locks of love. So, now it is really short. Pictures are posted.

"In This Life" by Chantal Kreviazuk

Let me show you what I'm made of
Good intentions are not enough
To get me though today and this life.
You're in the basement watching the TV,
I'm on the second floor watching the ceiling.
We sleep underneath the same big sky at night.
I dream the same dream we can fly
You can run from me
You can hide form me
But I am right beside you
In this life.
Let me tell you who you really are
You're my comfort
You're not a superstar
I can reach up and bring you back down to the ground
And give you everything you dream about
You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.
I'll give you all the things that I never get
Give you all I have and have no regret
Take you to the places that I've never been
Forgive you all the things that you cant forget
Take away the pain with my healing hands
Wash away your sins and set your spirit free
You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.
Let me show you what I'm made of


~*~What I am...

I may be a walking contradiction, but I am lots of fun! *wink*

I love being a single mother, but still want a traditional family.

I have a bachelor's degree but I will never be done learning.

I live in the city and love it, but grew up in the country and miss it!

I always aim high and fall short, but continue to climb.

I am independent and strong-willed but still am capable of being vulnerable.

I am motivated and driven in my career pursuits but still want a family life.

I know that I can be superwomen but still need help.

I know and listen to all kinds of music but might not be able to tell you who sang that song on the radio.

I am going into a political career but don't care to debate politics.

I love my cat but she isn't my whole world.

I enjoy watching a good tv show but refuse to watch the news.

I am not a partier/bar fly but enjoy girl's nite out!

I love to sing karaoke, but never expect to be professional.

I like reading cosmo but don't want to be a cosmo girl.

I get my eyebrows waxed and wear makeup but feel just as comfortable without.

I love to grow veggies and flowers but I kill house plants.



~*~What my friends think of me...

I texted a handful of my close friends to describe me in 3 words and here is the responses:
Traci - Mother, Smart, and Strong
Courtney - Beautiful, Determined, and Dependable
Hassan - Brave, Insightful and Beautiful
Jeff - Sweet, Understanding, and Good Listener
Rae - Determined, Masterful, and Sassy
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~



~*~What I am looking for...

Nice smile. Humor. Egalitarian. Willing to share all aspects of a partnernship. Wants children and accepts my son. Intelligence/Education (with a degree or equivilant experience). Possibly willing to relocate. Prefer non-smoker. Occasional/No drinking. Open to any religion. Age preference 25 to 50. Open and honest. Good communicator. Doesn't mind questions. Can pass a government security clearance (and I am NOT joking). Has no current use/no history of drugs. No alcohol abuse past or present. No current or past mental health history.

I am sure that there is more, but that at least gives you an idea. And you just might be surprised, so send me an email. There is always exceptions to the rules.

You can find me on the threads, so go look! And you can occassionally find me on the creative writing/poetry forum. Below are some of my favorite songs and poetry that I have written:

"One Sweet Love" by Sara Bareilles <3

Just about the time the shadows call
I undress my mind and dare you to follow
Paint a portrait of my mystery
Only close my eyes and you are here with me
A nameless face to think I see
To sit and watch the waves with me till they're gone
A heart I'd swear I'd recognize is made out of
My own devices....
Could I be wrong?

[CHORUS]
The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?

Sleepless nights you creep inside of me
Paint your shadows on the breath that we share
You take more than just my sanity
You take my reason not to care.
No ordinary wings I'll need
The sky itself will carry me back to you
The things I dream that I can do I'll open up
The moon for you
Just come down soon

[CHORUS]
The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain sip on
The southern rain
As I do, I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.

The earth that is the space between,
I'd banish it from under me...to get to you.
Your unexpected love provides my solitary's
Suicide...oh I wish I knew

[CHORUS]
The time that I've taken
I pray is not wasted
Have I already tasted my piece of one sweet love?
Ready and waiting for a heart worth the breaking
But I'd settle for an honest mistake in the name of
One sweet love.



~Rose~
As I walk into the door
the amber glow of the flames
paint my skin.
I proceed on a path of
cool silken rose petals.
The path leads me to
a satin covered bed.
A satin nightgown lays
upon a petal covered bed.
I slip onto the satin and
lay down upon the cool petals.
As I lay still upon the coolness,
and feel the caress of a silken rose bud.
The coolness of the plant is twisted along
my skin from my feet to my face.
Where my lips are met by his warm kiss.

tanya 5-25-08



"Yellow" by Coldplay

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow".
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
Cos you were all "Yellow",
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know,
For you I'd bleed myself dry,
For you I'd bleed myself dry.
It's true,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.



"Fallen" by Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
THe past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I've held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bend to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...


"Blue Eyes" by Cary Brothers

Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie
Window broke, torn up screens
Who'd have thought that you'd dream
Of a single tragic scene

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just want to take it off of you

Cause Blue Eyes
You are all that I need
Cause Blue Eyes
You're the sweet to my mean

Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand
I can help you to stand
Saved it up for this dance
Tell me all the things you can

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna be the one that's true

Cause Blue Eyes
You're the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes

All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are

Cause Blue Eyes
You are destiny's scene
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna be the one

I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna get it on with you

Cause Blue Eyes
You're the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna sing a song with you
I just wanna sing a song with you...

"What Am I To You?" ~ Norah Jones

What am I to you
Tell me darling true
To me you are the sea
Vast as you can be
And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low
To whom else do you go
See I cry if you hurt
I'd give you my last shirt
Because I love you so

If my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
I never want to part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
I love you when you're blue
Tell me darlin' true
What am I to you

Yeah well if my sky should fall
Would you even call
Opened up my heart
Never wanna part
I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes
I can feel the butterflies
Could you find a love in me
Could you carve me in a tree
Don't fill my heart with lies

I will you love when you're blue
Tell me darlin' true
What am I to you
What am I to you
What am I to you