For any 'oldies' still around on the site.... I put up some new pictures!

I am married. So, I am only here to interact with my friends. So, if you are reading this and I don't know you.... please spend your time posting on the forums then sending me a message or nudge.


Don't cry for a man who's left you, the next one may fall for your smile. ~ Mae West


~*~ There are no guarantees in life, but could I at least get my dignity back!~*~



~*~What I am...

I may be a walking contradiction, but I am lots of fun! *wink*

I love being a single mother, but still want a traditional family.

I have a master's degree but I will never be done learning.

I live in the city and love it, but grew up in the country and miss it!

I always aim high and fall short, but continue to climb.

I am independent and strong-willed but still am capable of being vulnerable.

I am motivated and driven in my career pursuits but still want a family life.

I know that I can be superwomen but still need help. (Confirmed after having twins!)

I know and listen to all kinds of music but might not be able to tell you who sang that song on the radio.

I may be going into a political career but don't care to debate politics.

I love my cats but they aren't my whole world.

I am not a partier/bar fly but enjoy girl's nite out! (Which I haven't had in forever!)

I love to sing karaoke, but never expect to be professional.

I like reading cosmo but don't want to be a cosmo girl.

I get my eyebrows waxed and wear makeup but feel just as comfortable without.

I love to grow veggies and flowers but I kill house plants (except my aloe vera plant - though, I did manage to kill it by over watering it!).


What artists are on my ipod: Annie Lennox, Barlow Girl, Chantal Kreviazuk, David Gray, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, Lily Allen, Regina Spektor, Sara Bareilles, Sheryl Crow, Sixpence None The Richer, Coldplay, The Shins, Zero 7, Colin Hay, Cary Brothers, Remy Zero, Nick Drake, Thievery Corporation, Simon & Garfunkel,Iron & Wine, Frou Frou, Bonnie Somerville, 311, Yael Naim, The Pogues, James Blunt, Needtobreathe, Laura Izibor, Hope, Ryan Star, Paolo Nutini, Toby Lightman, Chuck Prophet, The Academy Is..., The Stills, Flogging Molly, Nellie McKay, John Powell, Muse, Paramore, The Black Ghosts, Linkin Park, Mute Math, Perry Farrell, Collective Soul, Blue Foundation, Carter Burwell... and more!


~*~What my friends think of me...

I texted a handful of my close friends to describe me in 3 words and here is the responses:
Traci - Mother, Smart, and Strong
Courtney - Beautiful, Determined, and Dependable
Hassan - Brave, Insightful and Beautiful
Jeff - Sweet, Understanding, and Good Listener
Rae - Determined, Masterful, and Sassy
~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~"~


Settlin' ~ Sugarland

Fifteen minutes left to throw me together
For mister right now, not mister forever
Don't know why I even try when I know how it ends
Looking like another "maybe we could be friends"
I've been leaving it up to fate
It's my life so it's mine to make

I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
Just enough ain't enough this time
I ain't settling for anything less than everything, yeah

With some good red wine and my brand new shoes
Gonna dance a blue streak around my living room
Take a chance on love and try how it feels
With my heart wide open now you know I will
Find what it means to be the girl
Who changed her mind and changed her world

I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
Just enough ain't enough this time
I ain't settling for anything less than everything

I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
Just enough ain't enough this time

I ain't settling for just getting by
I've had enough so so for the rest of my life
Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high
I ain't settling no, no, no, no, no, no

So raise the bar high



You can find me on the threads, so go look! And you can occassionally find me on the creative writing/poetry forum. Below are some of my poetry that I have written:


~Rose~
As I walk into the door
the amber glow of the flames
paint my skin.
I proceed on a path of
cool silken rose petals.
The path leads me to
a satin covered bed.
A satin nightgown lays
upon a petal covered bed.
I slip onto the satin and
lay down upon the cool petals.
As I lay still upon the coolness,
and feel the caress of a silken rose bud.
The coolness of the plant is twisted along
my skin from my feet to my face.
Where my lips are met by his warm kiss.

tanya 5-25-08


Meditation

How we fool ourselves
By thinking and not listening.
By believing we are breathing
But not really breathing.
By making excuses for ourselves
Instead of meditating
And letting the solution reveal itself.

When I close my eyes
I can see myself.
It isn't what others can see.
But while my eyes are close
I can see what others can see
I can see the thoughts
Perspections
Misguidance
Which is manifested on the outside.

Now with very breath
I pray that those
Will be released
And balance will come forth.

Tanya 12-7-2009




Only Strong For So Long

It is hard to find strength when you have been vunerable to someone... when you expect to be able to be vunerable with that person. When you are strong... for everyone, for everything.... the one place you should be able to collapse... breath... cry... laugh...

What do you do when that is gone... that expectation is gone.

That hope of being truly loved and care for.... when you are battling a cruel and unkind world. The hope that the other person looks at you and sees you. Sees you how you see yourself... beautiful, intelligent, caring, kind, loving, passionate, compassionate, silly, ridiculous, mischevious, .....

It hurts when you think that hope... when you can see that hope in another.... only for it to be a lie... an illusion.

The grand jester has played his trick again. Another means to pull you from your path... to misguide you.... to distract you.

So, with a big sigh and a heavy heart. You talk and sort things out in head. And decide.

And decide.

Tanya
7/5/2010