This is my profile. It is not a very good profile, but its mine, and not yours. I dont mind you pretending it is yours, but it just isnt, ok?

Im not here for dating, im not here to meet new friends either, i am just here. You can pretend im not here if you like, but really i am. But then not all the time. Sometimes i am somewhere else.

I dont have anything against making new friends, i just dont try very hard. That way if i do make a new friend, it will be a good friend, and not a pretend good friend that many people have hundreds of online.

I am in a commited relationship with the beautiful lady thats in my pictures with me. I am a lucky guy. You may stil try your luck anyway, but if you do, i will be sick on you, and then i will tie you up and poke you with a sh!tty stick.

If you are not a forum person, i doubt i will respond to you, especially if you mail me some lame, boring drivel.

If you are a forum person, then i probably will respond, assuming i have seen you in there. Even if you mail me some lame, boring drivel. I am polite like that.

Though dont expect me to be too polite, thats not my style. But dont think i am rude either, you just have to learn to understand where i am coming from. If i sound rude, then i am probably just being sarcastic and am trying to be funny. You might not find it funny, but then thats your problem. I post and write silly things to amuse myself. Sometimes other people find it amusing too.

I post in the forums, when i am not suspended from them, thats why i am here. I like to pass any spare time i get at work with a little intelligent discussion and FKN LOADS of stupidity. When i am suspended from the forums, i do stuff like updating my profile with bullsheet. Thats what i am doing right now anyway.

When i am not at work i normally do other stuff, i usually have something better to do when i am off. Such as staring at the wall, and rocking.

Things i like to do to pass the time include self harming, practicing acupunture on my pet dog(Mussolini), toad licking and wanking off turkeys.

They arent the only things i do, just my favourites. Another hobby of mine is standing in the street looking suspicious, but i have been warned by the judge that i shouldnt do this any more. I have to go abroad to do it now.

On wednesdays i practice riding my unicycle with my retarded friend Jeff. After we hang around the mall looking at girls.

3 years ago i lost all the fingers on my right hand in an unfotunate incident with a blender. I paid a starving African girl a handsome amount of money for hers(nearly a hundred) and i have had them grafted on. As good as new.

If there is anything else you would like to know...MIND YOUR OWN F&^CKING BUSINESS!

This is the most i have ever written in any profile i have had, so even though it is crap, be thankful.

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/246591?page=3

This link is for my benefit, and nobody elses. Its not relevant to you, so just leave it alone, ok?

I told you. You just wasted your time didnt you? Twat.

OK, you can go now. BUH-BYE.