January 27, 2012 -- Please be advised: nudges from strangers, friend requests from strangers, and one-word e-mails will not get replies.

I have always believed that a good relationship is ultimately built on the idea that two people have the ability to create a "team," a union greater than the sum of its parts, so to speak. The ability to enhance each other's lives.

I have a lot to offer. I won't go into all the details right now, because it would just be a lot of words that don't mean anything until/unless you see this for yourself. Suffice it to say I have the capacity to enhance another person's life.

Unfortunately, I've never had a gf who contributed much of anything to my life except neediness, insecurity, drama, and dishonesty. The relationship ends up being very one-sided, and that ultimately ends up being boring and frustrating.

I am now convinced that women aren't looking for the "team" concept; they're looking for a "project," a guy they can "fix," even though he isn't actually broken.

And this, I think, explains why I can't find anyone more interesting than an H&R Block commercial. They're not interested in me, no matter what I might be bringing to the table; they're only interested in who they think they can turn me into.

But I'm not interested in being fixed or changed or manipulated or lied to. So I'm really not going to be interested in you unless you're the first one I've ever met who is different from all the others.

If that's not the case, don't bother contacting me.

January 18, 2012 -- Busily (?) working on several books right now. I'm hoping to have the next one out by April.

For some reason, I've been getting a lot of messages lately that consist of "Hi" or "Hello" or "How are you?" and nothing else. I don't reply to those. Have something to say or don't bother sending anything at all.

Also, I don't respond to unsolicited nudges from people I haven't interacted with in the forums or through previous messages.

November 12, 2011 -- Let's not waste each other's time. I'll tell you right up front a little about me, and a little about what I'm looking for.

1.) I'm a writer. I've written seven books so far. If you don't like writers or writing or books, you're not going to match up well with me. Literacy is important to me. If you can't read and write at something above a third grade level, I'm not going to be interested.

2.) I'm divorced. No kids, no ties. I haven't seen my ex-wife in years, I have no idea where she is, and I don't really care. I heard a rumor that she's wanted in three states for check fraud. It's certainly possible.

3.) I don't have kids, I don't want kids. I won't date anyone who has kids. I won't date anyone who wants kids. In the past, girls have lied to me, over and over again, saying "I don't want kids, either. They're dirty and messy and noisy and they smell bad." Three months into the relationship, the truth comes out and they start in with "I NEED A BAY-BEE!!!" And that's the end of the relationship. If you have kids, if you want kids, don't waste my time. I will NOT change my mind about this.

4.) I don't drink. I stopped when I was 22 because I did some reading about the effects of alcohol on the human brain. I like my brain. I don't want to destroy it. And I've lost a lot of people, people I loved, to alcohol. And I don't want it in my life. So I'm not interested in anybody who drinks.

5.) I have a high IQ. Intelligence is important to me. I read a lot. I mean, a lot. Most of my life, I've dated airhead fluffballs who were really cute, but who could lose a maze race to an amoeba. I'm tired of that. If I'm going to get involved with someone now, it's going to have to be someone with a functioning brain.

6.) As a writer, I am constantly engaged in the creative process. I used to be involved in music, in a number of bands, playing guitar and bass and keyboards. I've done comic strips. I'm into photography. Creativity is a huge part of my life, and I'd prefer to have a girlfriend who was also involved in some sort of creative endeavor.

7.) I have no interest in politics at all. I don't vote. I don't believe it will ever be possible for a flawed, fallible human being to effectively and justly wield sanctioned authority over other flawed, fallible human beings.

8.) I'm only interested in someone local. LDRs don't work for me, and I won't mess with that again.

9.) I'm not looking for marriage. Tried it once, it was the worst experience of my life. I'm OK with the idea of something long-term, even permanent, but I don't see myself ever getting married again.

I realize that these criteria probably exclude 112% of all the women in the universe. And that's OK. I'd rather be alone than be with anyone like any of my past girlfriends.

But, on the off chance there's someone out there who actually gets it at all, I'm open to the possibility.

October 23, 2011 -- I'm an author, with 7 books on the market at the moment. I'm looking for someone local, with no kids, someone who doesn't drink or use drugs. Intellect and creativity would be highly appreciated.

Yes, my profile used to be 1400 pages long, but I shortened it in the hopes that maybe someone in the category I'm looking for would read it. If not, I can always bring the old one back!

I don't reply to nudges from strangers and I don't want to hear from Yahoo scammers. And I don't want to argue about the "no kids" thing. It is what it is.

I do have a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome, and I think this may have something to do with my inability to seek and/or value the kind of relationship that most NeuroTypicals want. So there's no point in trying to change me -- my brain works differently than yours, and there's nothing you can do about it.

Oh, and I am also an ordained minister in the Church of Spiritual Humanism, for some reason. So I'm probably not supposed to eat lobster, which I don't really like, anyway, so it's no big loss.