There is a popular saying that – ‘ Distance makes The heart grow fonder’. But is it really so?
Yes and no.
A lot of people are going into long distance relationships these days, due to a lot of factors like advancement in technology and the popularity of online dating apps, free dating apps or due to frequent travels for studies, work, etc. or just because we can stay more virtually connected now than ever before.
Getting into one is easier but maintaining a long distance relationship is not a piece of cake. It can be very difficult at times and can also increase the level of stress and anxiety, especially in tough situations. But you can definitely make your long distance relationship work if you are actually willing to put in all the required amount of energy and effort to succeed in your relationship. So, to help you and provide the best guidance, we have some of the most successful tried and tested tips listed down below for you. These will make your long distance relationship work like magic.
Here is a list of 5 proven expert tips to make your relationship a success even when your partner is hundreds or even thousands of miles away.
Tip 1 – Have a roadmap for your future together
Having some sort of plan on how and when will you be living together or at least living close to each other in the future is so important.
For example, if you have got a job of being a professor in another country and your partner is in military training for the next 30 years, then it does not make sense to be in such a relationship. You may have the strongest of feelings for each other but there really needs to be a chance or alignment of paths for you both living together in the future.
In situations like this where no such chance of ever staying together is possible, it is not really worth investing all emotional energy and getting into such relationships. Because would you stay in a long distance relationship forever ? No, right.
Be real about the logistics of your relationship to yourself at least because if you lie to yourself and think and imagine that things will work out, then I am sorry, you’re going to waste so many precious years of your life, hoping that something will change.
Tip 2 – Focus on Quality Time spent together, not Quantity Time
Make him/her miss you ! Most people get this factor wrong because both men and women think that the best way to maintain a long distance relationship is constant contact or being on call all the time. But that is not how it really works. I don’t think that spending most of the time facetiming or calling each other and not having relevant conversations will help. What actually helps is having quality conversations and deep interactions. Sending 4 strategic texts would work better than sending 25 texts throughout the day which is kind of like bugging each other.
What I would recommend is – wait for each other throughout the day and let the tension build up. Have a time before the end of the day, maybe before going to bed, when you can have quality time with just you and him talking and no distractions whatsoever. This will help in maintaining the spark and connection in your relationship.
Tip 3 – Set clear expectations of what’s appropriate in your relationship and what isn’t
Generally when two people get into a relationship, they are from different cultural backgrounds or have different opinions about a lot of things. To discuss and to set clear expectations of what is appropriate according to you with your partner and vice versa is really important. This will not only help in understanding each other better but will also save a lot of headaches in the future.
Smallest of things can build up into the biggest of fights and you don’t want that, right? Doing some things may seem right to you but may not be appropriate for your partner. Having clear conversations on all such things can bring a lot of clarity and peace into your relationship.
Tip 4 – Try not to pack a lot activities when you travel to each other
Most people decide to do a lot of stuff and pack in a lot of activities to do with each other when they travel and meet each other after a long time. They plan crazy getaways and have a lot of fun together. But once they actually move in and start staying together, things are not always as fun and days become boring, which is natural.
But in these cases, people tend to think that something is wrong. As much as I hate to say, relationships do get boring sometimes and that is perfectly okay. It’s nothing to be worried about. What is important to understand is that your relationship will not be as fun and crazy as it was on those adventurous weekend getaways that you got to spend when you were finally together while it was a long distance relationship.
Learn not to do a lot of things during these weekends when you get to meet while you’re in a long distance relationship. Just be with each other doing nothing. Enjoy each other’s company and just let it be a little boring. This works amazingly for maintaining a long term relationship.
Tip 5 – Surprise each other
This is the most important tip to maintain a long distance relationship. Never underestimate the power of surprises and the amount of happiness that they can give to your loved ones. Surprise him/her once in a while. Make each other feel special.
Surprising does not mean spending a lot of money. Do so if you have the means and your partner gets happiness from the same, nothing wrong. But, more than that what actually matters is doing the smallest of things that bring in the most amount of happiness. This may be leaving a note under his pillow after you leave or sending him an actual postbox mail letter or just sending an unexpected romantic text would be a great idea too. This will make him know how much you love him and he may even reciprocate this to you with his own surprises!
All these tips actually work and help you maintain your long distance relationship like a pro.